Thursday, September 02, 2010

College Football Preview Week Part IV

Welcome to the greatest week of the year at this here blog. It's when I turn it over to the commenters and they run the site for a week (and then bitch about how hard it is). I think that this is the fourth annual College Football Preview Week where some of our most esteemed readers get you ready for the start of the season. It's the same cast of characters as usual breaking shit down for you: Damman, Drew, GSaul, The Wig Master, Li'l Strut, and with a splash of G$ thrown in for good measure. Each day brings different topics that our "experts" discuss and on Day 4, it's time to hand out The Heisman Trophy for the 2010-11 college football season. Enjoy. Or hate it. I don't really care just as long as you read the damn thing.

Damman: The Heisman Winner - Terrelle Pryor, QB, Ohio State. Yeah that's right Buckeye haters. TP only scratched the surface at the Rose Bowl. Get ready for Tebow-esque coverage on ESPN after he torches Da U for 400+ yards total offense in Week 2. The guy is a freak athlete and he will unleash his unworldly powers on us all this year. Am I worried about a "May the Forcier Be With You" type curse that Ace laid on Forcier last year? No. TP does not suck the sweat of a dead man's balls like Forcier does. Who else gets invited? Like it really matters,

Drew: The Heisman Winner - Ryan Mallett, QB, Arkansas. That's right...the guy that Rich Rod ran off because he didn't fit his offense...will deliver the final nail in the Rich Rod coffin as he wins the Heisman during Arkansas's 11-1 year. Other people there...Mark Ingram, John Clay and Andrew Luck.

GSaul: The Heisman Winner - 1. Ryan Mallett, QB, Arkansas. DickRod does not need Heisman Trophy finalists on his team, no sir. He did just fine in 2008 with walk-on Nick Sheridan and journeyman Steven Threet.
2. Mark Ingram...RB, Alabama. Hopefully his rushing stats and TD’s decrease this year…that’s all that it took for Archie Griffin to win his second Heisman!
3. Jake Locker...QB, Washington. He has the talent, but not enough around him.
4. Terrelle Pryor...QB, OSU. Too bad you do not get points for just being awesome. That eye black dedicated to Mike Vick could have put him over the top.

The Wig Master: The Heisman Winner - Has the Heisman really meant anything since Eric Crouch won it? That’s up for debate. This year’s invite list looks like this: Mark Ingram, RB (Alabama), Kellen Moore, QB (Boise St), Terrelle Pryor, QB (OSU), Michael Floyd, WR (ND), and Ryan Mallet, QB (Arkansas). No boring ass hour of Lee Corso interviews here, just your winner: Kellen Moore, QB, Boise St. I know, bat shit crazy. But as you recall, I have the Broncos playing for it all, and for that to happen, Moore will have to increase his efforts from last season. Last season he only threw for 3500 yards, 39 TDs, 3 interceptions, a 64% completion percentage, and 14 wins. This year, how about 4000 yards, 40 TDs, and having his team play for it all? Of course, playing out west always hinders one’s chances to gain the east coast audience/writers, but Boise will be the exception. The “little guy” will be in the media throughout the season, who won’t be backing the #2 Broncos all year. That means that Moore and his stats will be in the spotlight throughout. He won’t be getting the Toby Gerhart treatment (totally hosed on the vote/trophy). There it is, a really ballsy pick for you…I bet Dut has TP winning it (Dut also owns a Tim Couch jersey, so f*ck him).

Li'l Strut: The Heisman Winner - Terrelle Pryor, QB, Ohio State. Mark Ingram will come into the season as the frontrunner for the Heisman, but I have a feeling Archie Griffin’s claim as the only two-time Heisman Trophy winner will remain safe. Every defense in the tough SEC is going to be gunning for Ingram this year. Although that may open up the passing game for Greg McElroy and Julio Jones, it will severely limit Mark Ingram’s stats. This will leave the door wide open for other candidates. Terrelle Pryor is going to be playing on an offense with nearly all its starters returning, including its top two running backs, top two receivers, and its entire offensive line. Further, TP will enter this season with 2 years of starting experience under his belt and a lot more maturity. Barring injury, Terrelle Pryor will have the opportunity to prove himself on big stages at home against Miami and Penn State and on the road against Wisconsin and Iowa. The stage is set for Terrelle Pryor to take the Heisman. If he can manage games and then take over them by making signature plays at the right moment, he will return to Columbus in December with the most famous individual trophy in all of sports. Others who will be invited to New York will be Mark Ingram (RB, Alabama), John Clay (RB, Wisconsin), Kellen Moore (QB, Boise State) and Dion Lewis (RB, Pitt)

G$:  The Heisman Winner - Ricky Dobbs, QB, Navy.  Yep, I'm buying into it.  And why shouldn't I?  He's Tommie Frazier all the while defending our country!  Imagine if he and Terrelle Pryor are the two favorites.  Voters have to choose between a serviceman and a guy that gives shoutouts to Mike Vick.  Is this one out there?  Sure, but who had Mark Ingram winning this last year?  And I love me some triple-option offense.

ABTP:  Anyone But Terrelle Pryor.  We end College Football Preview Week tomorrow by crowning a champion.


Anonymous said...

Pryor needs to have a solid season with some freakish plays to win the heisman. He already has the national hype even though he's only had one good game.

Gsaul is really torn up about that 2nd heisman for Archie. I think he's raged about it every year!


GMoney said...

As well he should, that award belongs to Pete Johnson!

Drew said...

Prediction for tonight...

Buckeyes -- 40
I hope you have another plane crash -- 10

Tony B. said...

I'll go with Andrew Luck for the Heisman. I have no stats or documentation to back this up, though.

GMoney said...

Until anOSU beats Marshall 66-6 the year after their team dies in a plane crash, you will continue to be meaningless.

The comments say it all, you guys are terrible writers.

Tony B. said...

Maybe the focus of today's post should've been on 9/02/10, the official day to celebrate 90210.

SSReporters said...

Wayyyyy to much Pryor love.

Dion Lewis is my Heisman darkhorse.

The Iceman said...

This is why OSU fans are drooling retards. Pryor as a Heisman candidate is fucking laughable. The guy didn't finish in the top 40 in any quarterback stat last season. Yet Fuckeye fans are using the Rose Bowl as a measuring stick for how great Pryor's 2010 season will be. Did I mention that Oregon's defense was so bad last year there were 106 college football teams that played fewer defensive snaps than Oregon did? That includes Michigan. Michigan's defense was better than Oregon's...that should tell you something about why Pryor looked like a first round draft pick in the Rose Bowl. Pryor will have similar stats to last year and eveyone will see it coming...except OSU fans.

Anonymous said...

It is certainly right

Anonymous said...

The happiness to me has changed!