Thursday, August 19, 2010

This One's For You, Nate B.

Do Michigan Men use finga-gunz???
Yesterday, we all got a big laugh at the expense of Michigan football and how anybody with a functioning arm will be able to throw for 300 yards against them this season.  It doesn't even have to be their dominant arm.  It could even be cut off at the elbow.  You are still going to put up big numbers against that defense now that that one guy is done.

So I think that most of us realize that the whole RichRod experiment is not going to work and that it will likely end at some point this season.  They aren't going bowling.  That is for certain.  It's time to treat this era of football like Michigan treats the Fab Five years of hoops...sweep it under the rug and act like it never happened.  But where does Michigan go from here?  Do they bring in another coach with a wide open spread offense?  Is Michigan still a destination job?  Does Lloyd Carr need his diaper changed?  Nate B asked me to write up a post regarding the next Go Blue coach yesterday in the comments and his request has been approved.  Sort of.

The hot name out there is Mike Leach.  He is going to be rumored at EVERY vacancy.  He's just sitting around, reading books about pirates, and scouting players to lock in his storage shed.  You know, what good coaches are wont to do.  He's biding his time waiting for the right job to take.  There is no doubt that the man can coach.  Texas Tech was fucking horrible before he swashbuckled his ass to Lubbock.  Would Michigan go after Leach?

Well, the Craig James controversy shouldn't bother UM.  Their current coach makes Bobby Petrino and Rick Pitino look like stand-up guys.  At least Leach's issue was concerning discipline of a pussy ass faggot.  By the way, he should have never been fired for that either.  I would think that the players that Rodriguez has brought in over the past three years could ease into Leach's not that similar but not that different system.  Leach graduates players (BIG deal at UM).  Sure, he has an ego but it's no worse than any other successful coach's.  Michigan has to at least kick the tires on Leach.  I think that they should go balls to the wall after him.  He's a big time name that has built programs up from the ashes.  I don't think that any Michigan fan would be against bringing Leach in for the 2011 season.  If they are, fuck 'em.  This is the kind of guy that a fan base can get really fucking pumped up about.

But would Leach go there?  That's where it gets tricky.  Leach is a fucking weirdo so who knows what he would do.  This is what I do know though.  His pass-happy offense isn't going to look so great once November rolls around.  The defenses in the Big Ten actually have a pulse.  The alumni are going to expect him to win big and soon (something that he didn't have to deal with at Tech).  He is most definitely NOT a "Michigan Man".  Is that enough to turn him/UM away?

When it comes down to it, I see Michigan offering Leach the job early in December.  I also see Leach declining it.  It's pretty hard to be a pirate in Ann Arbor.  Butt pirating is easy up there though.

Michigan will end up seeing their next coach winning in their house on Labor Day weekend as it will be UConn head man, Randy Edsall.  That's my pick and it makes sense.  UM's old alums can get back to rooting for boring ass football.  They love that shit.  Almost as much as they love creamed corn.  Two straight posts that are anti-Michigan?  I need to come strong with some anOSU hate next week.

What do you think?  Who is coaching at Michigan in 2011?


Drew said...

I think Harbaugh will be the next UM coach. They will sweep their little feud from a few years ago and his DUI under the rug and make peace. They will be desperate and have no other choice.

If they don't go Harbaugh, I think a really good choice would be Pat Fitzgerald. He's a really good coach...a stand up dude and very smart. He also runs a very similar offense to the current Michigan offense, so he wouldn't be stuck with a team full of dudes that don't fit his style. I think it would be a very good fit.

Grumpy said...

Tim Rose.

Mr. Ace said...

I stopped reading at "The hot name out there is Mike Leach." That's just fucking stupid. Not in a million fucking years would Michigan go after him. And if Michigan did he would jump on that job in a millisecond.

Drews got it about right. Harbaugh is definitely the number one choice. I still think he is looking to go to the NFL so I don't know if I want him, but I wouldn't complain obviously.

I like Fitzgerald alot. What he has done after being thrown into the HC position far too early is very impressive. He's a NW guy though...but I still think Michigan might lure him away.

But DickRod is going to be around for another year...and win a national title in 2011.

GMoney said...

Mike Leach isn't a hot name, huh? I must have missed this week's edition of Ace's Coach Rankings.

He most definitely is. He could get almost any job that he wants. Same with RichRod at any area 7/11.

Stanford and Northwestern are superior jobs!

Nate B. said...

I appreciate the post, but there's no way Leach would get hired at Michigan.

Whoever it is, I would think it'd be somebody that would bring a Pro-style offense back to Ann Arbor.

Anonymous said...

Right G$. Bring in a guy fucking dripping wet in controversy to a program that is constantly battling accusations against the current coaching staff in the news almost daily. That's like saying you're dumping your cheating whore of a girlfriend for a hotter chick who treats you better and in the end you wind up dating Shannon Doherty. After this retarded fucking experiment gone wrong, the school owes it to the fans...shit, they owe it to their fucking bring in a guy that can win games and motivate players without handcuffing them to a drainage pipe and beating them with a bike chain. Harbaugh made people care about Stanford football. That's like making people care about women's bowling. Harbaugh's the move here. No question.

Drew said...

I definitely should have noted that the idea of Mike Leach at Michigan is fucking laughable. That's one of G$'s dumbest posts of 2010.

Anonymous said...

Pat Fitzgerald taking the Michigan job??? That is laughable! It would be a STEP DOWN for him to leave Northwestern (which was bowl bound) and go to Michigan where they may not see a bowl game for another 5 years or so........

GMoney said...

For the record, assholes who can't comprehend reading, I never said that Leach will be the next coach. I think that Michigan should guage his interest though. I picked Randy Edsall. Remember. IT'S RIGHT FUCKING IN FRONT OF YOU!

GMoney said...

The idea of Pat Fitzgerald pulling a "taking his talents to Souf Beach" on his alma mater is the dumbest comment in the history of this great site. He may eventually leave (I wouldn't bet on it), but it wouldn't be for another job in the Big Ten.

You should apologize to all of us for its stupidity. You should apologize to your mother for being a horrible son. You should apologize to Shook's Son for nutting in his eye.

Mr. Ace said...

You said Leach was a hot name for the Michigan coaching job. That was stupid enough. Edsall isn't much better.

You're a fucking moron if you don't think Fitz would consider Michigan. I'm not saying he would come, but he would have a hard time turning it down. I know Michigan is in the dumps right now, but they will be back. NW isn't going anywhere. Michigan is still one of the best coaching jobs in the country.

Anonymous said...

There is no way Pat Fitzgerald leaves Northwestern for another Big Ten job! I doubt he would even leave for any other job, either. A year ago, I thought the next guy would be Les Miles, but he has underachieved so much since he won the BCS Title that he should be worried more about getting fired from his current position than about his next position.

I truly think the next guy is Harbaugh. He is a big Michigan man and has already been successful at building a successful football program at a school with high academic standards. He would be perfect for the job.

-Lil' Strut

Drew said...

Lil' Strut....there is no way, that you can say there is no way Fitzgerald wouldn't leave NW for another Big Ten job. He definitely would be interested in my opinion.

G$...It's absolutely retarded for you to think that Michigan would even gauge the interest of Leach. They should probably gauge the interest of Pete Carroll then too.

Mr. Ace said...

G Money, be honest, you don't really even know who Pat Fitzgerald is.

LS, I agree Harbaugh is the number one choice. Les won't even get a sniff. I still don't know how any of you can say Fitzgerald wouldn't leave NW. DickRod left his alma mater to come to Michigan. Not saying he and Fitz are in any way the same, but I think Fitz would be a great fit at M and I don't think he could turn down the opportunity.

GMoney said...

Comparing Dickie to Fitty is like comparing The Situation to Perez Hilton.

And I know who the hell Fitty is. I was at the first game that he coached, fucko.

I can't believe that some of you are sitting here and trying to tell us that Mike Leach can't coach or isn't that good. Fuck. You.

MUDawgfan said...

Things we know:

1. He'll almost certainly be white.
2. They won't try to pull a coach out the SEC again after being burned by Miles
3. He'll be a "Defense First" kinda guy.
4. After dealing with an asshole, they'll want someone more boring and bland a Spike Lee Joint.

I'll go with:

Greg Schiano of Rutgers, The Wannstache, Tom O'Brien of NC State or Shane Montgomery

GMoney said...

Al Golden could be a dark horse especially if Penn State doesn't kill Paterno soon. That fucking guy can coach.

Anonymous said...

Mudawg- of course they won't go after an SEC coach. They have built a reputation for cheating and having weasely tactics under the richrod regime. An SEC coach would only make it worse.

Also, of course hell be white. They just tried a mexican and it didn't work out.

I think its Harbaugh or bust for Michigan. While I would like the excitement that he brings to the B10, I would be a bit concerned that he could actually make Michigan competitive again.

Leach makes no sense after Rrod.


Drew said...

MUDawg....Schiano turned them down before they went with Dick Rod. No way they go back after him.

Anonymous said...

I think J Cooper would be a good fit. Good recruiter. Michigan is interested in his ability to never beat his rivals. He'll get them back to winning and beating OSU, then they can fire him and bring in a coach to win a title with his players after he leaves. Tell me that isn't being kicked around with the UM alum. Bo was an OSU man first. It makes perfect sense. I'm starting to think I am the only non-retard that reads this damn blog.

BTW - Has anyone watched the 'Rollin with the Crimson Tide' show that tried to be Hard Knocks. Every dude that rolls in there is either in a Range Rover or a gehtoo car with custom rims. I almost feel bad for USC.

J Saul

Mr. Ace said...

Leach can coach, just not at Michigan...or anywhere in the Big Ten.

Not sure it will be a defense first kind of guy. The Big Ten is changing, for the most part, away from the three yards and a cloud of dust ways.

If it's not Harbaugh or Fitz, I don't know where they go. There was some noise before about going after Missouri's HC and also former DC of the Carolina Panthers Mike Trgovac, a Michigan Man.

Tony B. said...

Just roll out Bo Schembechler's corpse to coach for a couple years. Penn State still has their dead classic coach as the head guy, why can't Michigan?

Anonymous said...


How can you say the Big 10 is changing? Look at all the champions of this decade they have all had a strong run game and an even stronger defense. Even if the run game loses its priority, a strong defense will still be typical of every Big 10 Champion.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

G$...I don't think anyone is questioning the fact that Leach can coach. Michigan fans are questioning getting rid of a scumbag to bring in a scumbag. I love Saul's idea more than I love tits. On a one to ten "fuck you" scale, where does Cooper coaching at Michigan and beating the fucking shit out of Ohio State for multiple years running rank? Seventy? Seventy thousand? You can't tell me Cooper wouldn't spend every waking moment finding ways to humiliate a program that told him a 10-1 season wasn't good enough. I love it.

GMoney said...

Ice, Leach isn't a scumbag at all. We all agree that Craig James's son is total faggot. And making him sit in a toolshed is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Cooper and his wife are actually still very involved with The Ohio State University. In fact, Cooper has an office at the WHAC (OSU Practice Facility). Further, Tressel keeps him involved in the program in different ways. Cooper is also 73 years old. Despite the fact that he should already be enshrined in the Michigan football hall of fame, I do not see him returning to coaching anytime soon.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Not that I actually thought the Cooper talk was serious. I am just saying.

-Lil' Strut

Shook's Son said...

LS, the only thing I take seriously about you is your DSL's.

Anonymous said...

Regardless of whatever bone OSU/Tressel has thrown him, Cooper has to be a little steamed that the programed ditched him just because he couldn't beat Michigan...and yes, that's exactly why he was tarred, feathered and run out of town. I hope no one denies that. If Joe Paterno can coach at age 168 why can't Cooper coach at 73? You are right about one thing G$...anything that is a product of Craig James breathes homosexuality.