Thursday, August 12, 2010

Starting Our Own Cliche Moratorium

I hate you.
Earlier this week, The Iceman (at his site), demanded that I write a post about this topic.  I told him to eat menstrual cycle.  But it is an intriguing post so I'm going with it today.  This will be much like yesterday's topic in which I need help.  It will be interactive so to speak.  We are going to comprise a list of the most played-out phrases and cliches in sports.  It won't be easy.  I don't expect it to be either.  But let's get our list together and use our zero power to ban this shit from our broadcasts.

The Iceman was bitching about how broadcasters used to love going on and on about how Lazy Eye Krenzel was a molecular (The Molecular Man!) genetics major at anOSU.  He parlayed that stupid major into a post-football career in real estate, Buckeye Nissan ads, and awful radio appearances.  So now, let it be known, that Krenzel's college major will never be spoken of again.  He didn't do anything with it so why should we care?  More that bother me:

*Claims that Vince Young is just "a guy who wins".  You get paid to be an analyst...ANALYZE!

*References to Tim Tebow's postgame speech at Florida

*Baseball announcers saying "I've always said that one day Robinson Cano is going to win a batting title".  EVERYONE has said that already.

*"Diaper Dandy"...that makes no sense, Dick.

*Mark Jackson saying, "Hand down...MAN DOWN".  You are retarded.  It's no wonder that no one wants you to be their coach.

*Of course, no list like this would be complete without Brett Favre "being a kid out there".  Actually, ALL Favre-related cliches should be caste down into the fiery depths of Hell.

Ummmmm, that's all I have at the moment.  I'd love to get some input (as I'm sure that I've forgotten a ton).  As I told The Iceman, a project like this would take an insane amount of research and I ain't doing that for you fags.  Let 'er rip.


Grumpy said...

References to "God" being the reason "we" won. Like God plays favorites.

"Giving 110%". Skipped high school math.

GMoney said...

Ooooh, both excellent choices, Grumpy.

By the way, Rex Ryan on Hard Knocks last night = 110% awesome

Tony B. said...

Our coach used to tell us to give 110% every day in freshman basketball. One day, a teammate of mine (who was in the lowest possible high school math class) told our coach it was "mathematically impossible to give 110%." Guess which team of freshman players got to run lines for the next hour?

Joe Morgan taking 5 of the 8 HR Derby contestants to win, then bragging when "his guy" wins.

Shaving cream pies after baseball games. Someone please develop something new and original.

"We couldn't have done it without the fans." Every team has great fans when they are winning- even the Sacramento Kings.

GMoney said...

I'm with you on the pies. How about stepping it up and doing REAL pies. I would love to see some Yankee hit a walkoff and then Burnett jacks him up with some pumpkin pie or some shit.

MuDawgfan said...

Whenever an announcer in any sport that a coach/manager really "knows their team."

This either means one of two things:

1. The coach is terrible, incredibly limited in what he knows and so he keeps it Vanilla. Example: Ohio State football from 2001 - Present

2. The team is seriously flawed and only has one style of play. Example: Georgia Tech football 2009-present.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree, G$. Hard Knocks skyrocketed to the top of my "must see TV" (another cliche?) list, because of Rex Ryan.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Sense of urgency might be the most retarded phrase ever. "These guys are really playing with a sense of urgency in this 4th quarter!" Are you suggesting for the first 3 quarters they failed to give a fuck? Also...did you guys know Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley were college roommates & childhood best friends?! Well if you didn't you merely had to watch 9 fucking seconds of any Texas game last year to learn that priceless nugget.

GMoney said...

Rex's pre-camp speech where he used fuck about 40 times was legendary.

"He would simply not allow his team to lose"...hate that one.