Tuesday, August 31, 2010

College Football Preview Week Part II

Welcome to the greatest week of the year at this here blog. It's when I turn it over to the commenters and they run the site for a week (and then bitch about how hard it is). I think that this is the fourth annual College Football Preview Week where some of our most esteemed readers get you ready for the start of the season. It's the same cast of characters as usual breaking shit down for you: Damman, Drew, GSaul, The Wig Master, Li'l Strut, and with a splash of G$ thrown in for good measure. Each day brings different topics that our "experts" discuss and on Day 2, we discuss the coaches sure to be fired as well as an underrated player to keep your eyes on. Enjoy. Or hate it. I don't really care just as long as you read the damn thing.

Damman: COACH DEFINITELY GETTING FIRED - I would say the coach getting fired first would be Dick Rod after he starts 0-2, but since Michigan fans are pathetic and accept having mediocre/bad football, he will be safe. The first coach getting the axe will be Tim Brewster at Minnesota. I know nobody cares about Minnesota, but this will be his fifth season there with an 8th year QB (Adam Weber) and a new stadium. He hasn't done shit in his first 4 years and I don't see it changing this year. He gets fired at some point. MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER - My player under the radar to watch is Dion Lewis at Pitt. I had no idea that he had almost 1,800 yards as a freshman last year. Look for even bigger things out of him this year if Wanny doesn't fuck it up.

Drew: COACH DEFINITELY GETTING FIRED - Ron Zook actually said that this team may have more talent than the team that he somehow took to the Rose Bowl a few years ago. Way to dig your grave Zooker. The Illini have as good of a shot of going to the Rose Bowl this year as Mr. Ace does of walking down the street and not have a 7 yr old kid point and laugh at him. MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER - Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien is going to put up pretty good stats all year...make little to no mistakes...and he is extremely accurate. Tolzien...not Clay..will be the reason that Wisconsin will be incredibly tough to beat this year. He's a stud.

GSaul: COACH DEFINITELY GETTING FIRED - 1. Ralph Friedgen, Maryland...needs a bowl game this year...will be looking for work soon. 2. Rich Rodriguez...Michigan...At least BitchRod will be leaving the same way he arrived – a LOSER – who said he’s not consistent? Quick…somebody hide the paper shredder under his copies of the NCAA regulations and Michigan’s academic standards…he will never find it there! 3. Al Groh...Virginia...should have been fired years ago…Pathetic. MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER - Danario Alexander...who? He would be the Mizzou receiver that led the NCAA last year with 113 receptions for nearly 1,800 yards receiving, along with 14 TD’s. This year, he has the same QB throwing him the ball AND is in a much weaker Big12. He could possibly elevate to Michael Crabtree man-crush status this year.

The Wig Master: COACH DEFINITELY GETTING FIRED - The Money Man requested the name of a “coach definitely getting fired” at some point this season, which essentially means who will be the first coach to smack, choke, or banish a kid to the broom closet. I say Mike Gundy is just crazy enough to pull some similar Ike and Tina type stuff…but cooler heads will prevail throughout the NCAA this year. This season we’ll see a well-deserved (good old fashioned) shit canning, for you know, pulling a “NapTown Wolverine” – Under Achieving. Clean out the office Dan Hawkins. After four seasons at Colorado, Hawkins has a record of 16-33 with one bowl appearance. These sorts of numbers might get you a contract extension in Oxford, OH but not in Boulder, CO. If you take a look at Hawkins’ web page on the CU website, over half of the material is devoted to his tenure at Boise St…and that is exactly what Colorado thought they were getting. Instead, just disappointment. Another sub-.500 season and no bowl appearance, combined with the impending Conference swap is the perfect time/excuse for Ralphie Buffalo to show Hawkins the door. MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER - So, I have a buddy who voluntarily makes his home in Lexington, Kentucky. The other day I asked him about the latest in artificial horse insemination, and just who is the KY football Cat getting all of the pub this year. He said, “bourbon and a poncho never really went out of style,” and “Mike Hartline and Derrick Locke are all over the local media.” That means this year the one player not getting the pub he deserves is Jr. WR Randall Cobb of your KY Wildcats. Last year Cobb accounted for 15 TDs by way of rushing, receiving and in the return game. The guy does it every which way, just like G$’s sister. With the Cats looking to get him the ball even more this year, you’re looking at 50 receptions, 100 carries, some shots under center, and 20 total TDs. Keep your ears open.

Li'l Strut: COACH DEFINITELY GETTING FIRED - We all know DickRod is getting canned after this season, so I will not spend any time on him. Instead I will go with “Michigan Man” and current LSU Head Coach, Les Miles. Miles finds himself on the hot seat only 3 seasons removed from a BCS National Championship, because the Tigers have finished with 8-5 and 9-4 records in the previous two seasons, with neither season ending with a top 25 ranking. This is unacceptable for the proud LSU fan base and with only 9 starters (5 Offense, 4 Defense) returning from last years team, do not expect it to get any easier in Tiger Country. Les Miles will be out of a job at season’s end. MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER - Daniel Thomas, RB, Kansas State. Although Thomas was the Big 12 Newcomer of the Year in 2009, he still has not received much national publicity for his efforts. Last year Thomas ran for 1,265 yards and 11 touchdowns while averaging an impressive 5.1 yards per carry. He did all this with little help from his teammates. Expect Thomas’s production to increase with four offensive linemen returning for Kansas State and look for him to be in the Doak Walker and All-American discussion in December.

G$:  COACH DEFINITELY GETTING FIRED - Les Miles.  He has to be the worst coach to ever win a national title, right?  He is awful.  If he wanted to take the Michigan job, LSU would pack his bags for him.  It's kind of like how the Yankees wouldn't care if Joe Girardi wanted to go to the Cubs.  MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER - Christian Ponder.  I love this kid.  Mallet and Locker will get all the pub but the FSU QB is just as good.  I see a nice bounceback year for the Seminoles now that they have a coach that won't fall asleep on the sidelines.

Day 2 is over now.  I hope this helped.  If you thought that today was bad, get ready for bold predictions tomorrow.

17 comments:

Grumpy said...

How can Damman call Dion Lewis underrated? G$, where do you find these morons?

GMoney said...

Per Damman, "I have watched a couple Heisman previews and haven’t seen Dion Lewis mentioned in the top 5. For a guy that ran for over 1,800 yards last year to not be mentioned as a serious Heisman contender, I consider that to be underrated."

This is coming from the same guy that doesn't know how to write a check though.

Anonymous said...

I dont know who this wig master guy is, but i like him. keep him around G$.

Seal

Drew said...

Second day in the row that this Wig Master has the dumbest comment on the site. He's money on Dan Hawkins...I'll give him that. But, picking a Kentucky WR for biggest surprise player is fucking laughable. I don't give a shit how many ways Randall Cobb can touch the ball...he isn't C.J. Spiller and he is still a WR from Kentucky that will be dependent on the awful Mike Hartline to get him the rock. Stupid.

GMoney said...

The Wig Master is a polarizing figure apparently. Drew, if I told you that he was a Lions/Tigers/Pistons fan, would you like him more?

I noticed that no one has challenged my predictions yet because I am extremely wise.

Anonymous said...

Wow.. G$ standing up for Damman! I would as well, but the fucker owes me 50$ since he can't write a check.

While I think Rrod will be fired, I think Michigan will wait until the end of the season. Someone else will surely get fired before then.

Can't believe Pryor didn't make the underrated list! I'm actually amazed at the man love on espn for TP. Are there no other proven players for them to hype? Is Ingram too boring?.

Dut

GMoney said...

Where did I back Damman???

MUDawgfan said...

3. Al Groh...


Clearly the G$ commenting staff is up on their coaching moves.
Al Groh was fired from Virginia last year and has been the defensive coordiantor at Georgia Tech since National Signing day. He's installing the 3-4 for the Yellow Jackets.

Great work team!

Drew said...

MUDAWG....I think it's just proof that Ace is ghostwriting for GSaul.

Anonymous said...

I can't remain silent today, GSaul is spreading vicious lies. Last year, the NCAA receptions leader was WR Freddie Barnes (BGSU Falcon) with 155 receptions. And Drew, I hope that the rest of the week you find that my posts meet the intellectual standards that you have set for me.


--the Wig Master

Anonymous said...

GSaul- Danario Alexander? Senior last year, picked by the Rams. I guess they could be considered a college team though.

Anonymous said...

I was so excited about the college football preview that I wrote this months ago! I was right on the money with these last year!! I will need to consult with my outside sources on this faulty information. The strict deadline imposed by G$ and that bottle of Jack must have been too much for me to handle...

-GSaul

MuDawgfan said...

Did you write the preview in February? Because that's when Groh was hired.

GMoney said...

GSAUL SUCKS!!!

The Iceman said...

I can't believe no one said poopy pants Paterno as a coach certain to be fired. Penn State is going to have a down year and Florida State just showed the country you can totally shit on your figure head coach and get away with it. This season would be a perfect time for PSU to follow suit so they can finally hand the reigns to that pillow biting ginger McQueery. His name even sounds gay as fuck.

Anonymous said...

GSaul deserves to be fired for this half-assed effort.

-Damman

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