|Christy Cooley, I will draft anybody that you want me to.|
***By the way, I should mention that only once in my many years of playing fantasy football have I actually won a league. That 2005 G$FL title is pretty sweet though. If anything, I am a far superior fantasy baseball player as I am currently winning (by a lot) both of the leagues I'm in. So take all of this shit with a grain of salt. Some of it is probably solid advice while a good chunk is drivel. Let's do this:
QB: Big Ben Roethlisberger
Last week, I made a point of saying that quarterbacks can not be a band-aid position on your roster where you pick and choose every week. You should have a stud that can lead you to victory in the regular season and in your playoffs. But sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Commenter Drew is notorious for waiting on drafting QB's. And that's fine. It also explains why he has never won anything and administers fellatio behind dumpsters. But I see some real value in drafting Ben this year. Sure, you aren't getting him for the first four weeks, but if you can tread water, he can really help. Let's say that every time you pick in the first ten rounds, no one really inspires you to draft them as your QB. Just wait it out. You can get a top ten QB in round 11-13. If you pair him up with a high upside guy like Chad Henne, that's a decent stable for your team. And if you waited forever to get your QB, in theory, you should have a solid roster. Since the Steelers will probably start 1-3, they will be playing through week 17 to get into the playoffs anyway. Which means that they aren't going to sit him when you may need him the most. He could help you and that's all I'm saying.
2009 Pick: Aaron Rodgers (HIT!)
RB: Beanie Wells
Kurt Warner retiring was the best thing that ever happened to him. That and Tim Hightower averaging 6 fumbles per game. I've read that Whisenhunt wants to pound the ball on the ground now like what he used to do with the Steelers. Finding out that your RB is going to be playing Steeler-ball is boner-inducing. Beanie is going to get all the goalline carries, too. Obviously, him being a pussy is an issue but there is some really big upside by taking him. Their QB is horrible which guarantees a ton of handoffs and he plays in the NFC West. Honestly, I would rather have Beanie over Shonn Greene who is the hot sleeper name this season.
2009 Pick: Steve Slaton (MISS)
WR: Malcom Floyd
Ignore the fact that he spells his name like a black asshole, the dude can play. He's huge. The Chargers throw the ball a lot. I think that Rivers trusts him. V-Jack is out for at least 4 games--maybe 10--and maybe gets traded. Floyd is going to get a shot to break out. I also really like Legedu Naanee as a deeper sleeper. But Malcom Jamal Warner here is going to open the season as the #1 or #1A redzone option with Gates. And you know damn well that Gates is going to get doubled. I'm tellin' ya, Floyd would be a good get in the 7th round.
2009 Pick: Chad Ochocinco (HIT!)
TE: Chris Cooley
Six or seven tight ends will go before Cooley but he will have the second or third best production this season. He's healthy. The Redskins receivers, from everything I've read, are terrible. When your #2 is a battle between 39 year old Joey Galloway and some homeless guy named Roydell Williams, that's not good. Fortunately, Cooley and Freddy Davis are good options in the pass game. Look at how much McNabb used Brent Celek last year...and Cooley is better. And before you go saying that I'm being a homer, the only Redskin that I would even think about drafting this season is Captain Chaos. The Skins' offense could be pretty damn good or really fucking bad this year. I don't want to be the one holding the colostomy bag either way though.
2009 Pick: Dustin Keller (MISS)
DEF/K: 49ers/Rob Bironas
I always laugh when some idiot takes the Bears D in the tenth round and then someone gets nervous and takes the Steelers D three picks later. I said it yesterday, look at San Fran's schedule. It isn't very hard. And their defense is actually good. When it comes to kickers, it's a crap shoot. I normally like getting guys on teams that score a ton and don't run the risk of getting cut. Or at least are accurate and play on a team who sucks in the redzone...that defines Robby Bironas.
2009 Pick: Dallas (HIT???)
Next week (back on Friday), it's guys that I hate this year. I suppose I should end the tease now. Saturday is Mr. Ace's wedding (I guess). At least the one in which people are invited and beer is served. So to send him off in style, we're roasting his faggot ass. We've got some doozies so far from some of our most beloved commenters here but I'm always looking for more. If you want to get in on it, the email address is at the top right or you can Facebook message me. It's going to be a bloodbath. You've been warned, shitbrick.