Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Why Congress Should Weigh In On College Football

Probably about 6 months or so ago, I wrote a post about the former security guard in my office building.  You may remember him for getting in trouble once he became a Columbus police officer.  You see, he was picking up chicks on warrants, telling them to blow him for their freedom, and then taking them to jail anyway.  A brilliant plan but poor execution.  I mentioned that I would certainly be a dirty cop if I was ever given a gun and a badge.  There is no doubt.  I would be crooked.  I would take food, CD's, DVD's, whatever in lieu of booking someone.  No sex or cash though...that's when you get into trouble.

But the thing is, I KNOW that that is wrong.  If I get caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar, I would want it to blow over because who cares if a cop is taking a bag of Soft Batch cookies instead of busting punks.  There are different levels of accepting bribes and those that don't get greedy, don't get busted. That same philosophy works in other aspects of life, too.

Football players accepting benefits from boosters and agents are back in the news again.  Why?  Because bitches be greedy.  Have some fucker buy you a steak dinner but not your parents a house.  Have an agent give you a $500 gas card from Sunoco, not 100 fucking thousand dollars.  It's just so stupid of these kids to completely shit on their teammates and coaches for an unnecessary pay day that is coming from an NFL team soon anyway.

And they don't even get punished!  That's the problem.  Reggie Bush and Maurkice Pouncey aren't getting shit done to them in spite of their devious pasts.  And it's wrong.  This is where Congress needs to step in.  Forget about the BCS.  No one cares about that.  How about somehow and some way making these guys who accepted fucking BRIBES accountable?  In any other profession, if you're taking money on the side, you go to prison.  Why is college football different?  Would anyone be against that?  If a college athlete takes money that isn't his and that he didn't work for, he runs the risk of a prison sentence (let's say 8-12 months).  We no longer punish the schools or the program.  Those Florida and USC kids on the team now should not be doing the time.  Fuck that.  Send the selfish fucks to the rape house.

Maybe I'm going too far though.  How about this?  You take money from a booster, you have to live on food stamps for an entire year.  You get a free car from a dealer?  License gets suspended for 5 years.  Your parents are dumb enough to take money from an agent?  They should be killed and their son should be forced to eat them.  Basically, there has GOT to be consequences to those actually responsible for shitting on their school and collegiate athletics.

Don't think that I've forgotten about coaches either.  John Calipari (now on his third school with recruiting violations) should NEVER be allowed to set foot on a campus again.  He's had enough chances.  It's time that someone kills him for being a scumbag.  Same with Pete Carroll. 

If anyone disagrees with me on this (that college athletes who accept bribes should be criminally prosecuted), you are dead fucking wrong.  Dead wrong.  It has to stop.  Maybe jail time will finally deter these greedy bastards.  If this sounds like a witch hunt, maybe it is.  I've been dying to see commenter Daniel do some jail time for the millions of dollars that commenter Li'l Strut funnelled to him throughout his time at anOSU.  They both deserve to die and I hope they BURN IN HELL!!!

15 comments:

Grumpy said...

You are dead right. Some poor kid who was in high school when Reggie Bush got his has to pay the piper, while Reggie is banging one of the Kardashians and Carroll gets a multi-million dollar payday.

GMoney said...

You could not be more wrong, Grumpy. Reggie is out of the Kardashian business and that smiling faggot, Miles Austin, has taken his place.

Life is not fair.

Grumpy said...

I can't Keep Up With The Kardashian's.

Drew said...

Two things....

1.) Good to know that G$ thinks Troy Smith was smart for taking $ 500 and not making it a bigger thing. Although it did cost him an Alamo Bowl appearance..which we won regardless.

2.) Mark it down that that 14 yr old Kardashian will be the hottest one of the bunch. She's already modeling and is like Khloe tall, but Kourtney skinny. It's also sweet to know that somewhere some black 8th grade football player has no idea that in 5 years he's going to be banging that Kardashian.

Anonymous said...

G$- lil strut paid Daniel in sex so that there was no money trail. Daniel is an accountant, so he knows how to abuse the system (and strut's asshole).

Dut

Anonymous said...

G$- lil strut paid Daniel in sex so that there was no money trail. Daniel is an accountant, so he knows how to abuse the system (and strut's asshole).

Dut

GMoney said...

Dut, I'm going to allow the double comment because it's funny and implies that LS is a butt pirate.

I would rather see Bruce Jenner naked than Khloe The Hutt.

Anonymous said...

Seriously?! You need to ask yourself why I would ever funnel money to a guy who was 2nd string as a Senior. The stuff Dan and I did was out of love and nothing else.

On a more serious note, I am not getting into a legal conversation, but they could not be charged with a crime under current laws. What they should do is have as a condition in their scholarship that says, if they ever get caught doing something like that, they must repay all their scholarhip money and are banned from ever recieving any future scholarship money.

-Lil' Strut

Daniel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daniel said...

I never saw so many Cadillacs parked anywhere on Campus as I did at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center (and they weren't the coaches'. They must have sent my money to the wrong address as I was still rocking the Teal T-Top Camaro back in those days.

The Iceman said...

What's the bigger crime? Maurkice Pouncey taking 100 grand or making out with a dude on draft day on national television?

GMoney said...

LS, I don't care about the laws now. I'm just saying what they should be. And what good does taking away potential scholarships from Reggie Bush do today?

You are fucking retarded. I would never ask you to be my pro bono counsel.

How very "Joe Dirt" of you, Daniel!

Daniel said...

As an aside to give everyone a little insight how stupid and irresponsible these people are with their money...

A former OSU defensive end, that had an above average college career, went out and bought a Hummer H2 leading up to the draft as he was certain he would be making millions in the coming years. Turns out, he didn't get draft and got cut during the pre-season as a rookie free agent. I bet it was a sad day when that thing got repo'ed.

At a school like OSU, I'd say close to 20% of the dudes get at least a year or two in the NFL, with about 5-10% lasting longer than that. The dudes with no or brief NFL careers typically fall flat on their face as they never got a real education. I know of a former first rounder that legitimately could not read at a high school level.

Anonymous said...

It would not do much to Reggie Bush, just like most civil penalties/damages (as this one would be) would also do nothing to the incredibly rich. It would at least be a deterrent, however, for most, because the average cost of sending those kids to school for one year when you factor in books, meal plans, housing, stipends, and tuition is probably close to $40,000/year, even at a public school.

-Lil' Strut

P.S. I would never be your pro-bono attorney, anyway.

Anonymous said...

I totally disagree.

-Ace