Friday, July 09, 2010

Where's Your Crown, King Nothing

My garbage can at 9:30 last night.  I'm not fucking kidding.

It's over.  What a scumbag.  What an asshole.  What a pussy.  What a cunt.  What a quitter.  What a liar.  What a twat.  What an abortion.  What a douche.  What a taint bomb.  What a diva.  What a drama queen.  What a drama queef. 

I can't believe that that guy went on national television, held the world hostage, and completely shit on his hometown like that.  Who does that shit?  I'll tell you who:  the biggest egomaniac on the planet.  And it's sad.  It's just sad.  Whether you are a Cavs fan or not, those people did not deserve to be treated like this.  That was the absolute worst feeling that you could imagine.  "I'm taking my talent to South Beach"...and he said it with a smile.  Well, fuck you, buddy.  That was the scummiest thing that I've ever seen an athlete do.  Michael Vick probably cringed during that shit.

I still don't understand the reasoning behind this.  Staying with the Cavs proves your loyalty and dedication.  Going to Chicago meant that winning titles was all that mattered.  Hell, even going to the Knicks meant that your brand was the most important thing to you.  And I could live with that.  But why Miami?  It's a shitty sports town.  The Heat have almost zero history (they actually retired Rony Seikaly's number).  They hardly ever sell out their home games and will continue to not pack the place.  So why?

The only answer I can come up with is that he wants to play with his friends.  And that is fucking retarded.  This is professional sports not the fucking fraternity intramural hoops league.  Maybe the three of them just want to ice each other after every game (CHUG IT, BRAH!), but is that a reason to commit to them?  I just don't get it.  Maybe I'm missing something here but this seems like an awful decision to me.  Chicago was the REAL play.  They have ALL the pieces.  If he thought that the Cavs were an unknown, he's only got 4 fucking players on his team right now and they are already at the cap!  But this fucking queer is so delusional that he must think that the Heat can win a title going 3 on 5.

Let's look into this even further though.  We have been beaten over the head for years that he was the biggest free agent in the history of sports.  It may have been true, too.  But when it came down to it, the biggest free agent of all time decided to go to Miami and be a role player.  Nice fucking move.  That's all that he is.  He's Jamey fucking Carroll now.  That isn't his team.  That isn't his city.  And it never will be.  He took the greatest opportunity of his life and lowered his ceiling to Scottie Pippen.  Not that there's anything wrong with Pippen, but no one strives to be the next Scottie.  They want to be the next MJ.  Well, he decided that he couldn't win on his own anymore, scrapped the whole global icon plan, embarrassed himself, and is going to waste his prime trying to win titles that won't be considered "his".  They will always be Wade's.  "Kings" are not followers are hangers-on.  Can we all agree that this move made no sense for him?  OK?  Let's move on.

I think that that is the most frustrating part about this.  He is giving up on his dream to be the best player ever just so that he can recreate what he had at the 2008 Olympics.  And that's weak.  That's pussy shit.  If this is all that he wants to be now, then so be it.  Miami can have him.  Sure, it's going to take the Cavs a looooong time to get their footing again, but if it means that we stop coddling Little Scottie, then whatever.

As soon as he informed us where he was taking his faggy talent, I grabbed the leash and took the pup for a long walk in the rain.  I had to get up.  I couldn't look at his stupid beard anymore.  I couldn't fathom how this guy could make that play.  And I still don't get it.  One thing that I do know is that I will never EVER root for the Miami Heat ever again.  If they are playing against Ohio State in some weirdo football game, O-H!  If they play the Cowboys, I'm wearing a Romo jersey.  I draw the line at the Red Sox though.  So yes, the Heat are now my second most hated team in the sports world.  You should all hate them, too.  There is nothing likeable at all about what those three did to the sport.  It's embarrassing and Stern should have done something to stop it.  I don't know what he could do, but this is awful for the game of basketball.

I wish him nothing but the worst in Miami.  I hope he fails miserably.  I want him to never set foot in Ohio again.  When the Heat play their first game at The Q, I want Dan Gilbert to bitch-slap him when he throws the powder in the air.  He has earned every bit of scorn that he gets.  He is a bigger whore than his mother.  He is a lying, backstabbing sonofabitch.  I never want him to win a ring.  He doesn't deserve it.  For God's sake, he was supposed to end the curse, not prolong it!

You are nothing to me now.  I do hold grudges and this one will be held until one of us dies.  And mark my words, I WILL NEVER SAY OR WRITE HIS NAME AGAIN.  Watch me.  I won't do it.

Maybe Miami is the right place for him.  After all, it was the home of Dan Marino for all those years and no one choked under pressure and lost more than Dan.  Sound familiar?  Maybe it is destiny that these two loser faggots can now share the same city with the guy in the wheelchair, the Predator-looking guy, and the 14 people in south Florida that care about sports.  But I'm done with you. 

Laces out, you fucking scumbag asshole.

28 comments:

Roger S said...

You are a genius. I read your post from 2 years ago about the Seattle Cavaliers. It's the same thing I thought of. I think it's time for the Cavs to leave Cleveland now. Lebron killed the team.

Anonymous said...

Agreed, I am not a basketball fan, but I hope the people in Cleveland fire bomb his house and rape his mother, even though she would probably like getting banged by a bunch of homeless guys. It was a dick move.

Naptown Wolverine

Grumpy said...

Just pathetic. Chicago I could understand, the pieces are in place. Miami has those 3 and nothing else. Serve him right if he never wins a ring.

GMoney said...

It sucks that I wrote this before reading Dan Gilbert's amazing and insane letter to the fans. Here I thought that this post was some grade-A quality hate...I've got nothing on Gilbert. He fucking OWNED it.

It was probably classless and over the top, but I respect him for being pissed off and hate-filled. That guy never even told the Cavs that he was leaving before his show. He treated us like the fucking Clippers.

Someone should kidnap him, tie him up, and burn off his "loyalty" and "family" tattoos.

Mr. Ace said...

Listen to all you fucking pussies. It's like LeBron was the star quarterback and he was banging all of you and then he left for college and never called again.

Miami will be fine...actually, they will be great. That roster will fill out.

LeBron owes you nothing. The Cavs didn't do dick to keep him. Would you have really been less pissed off if he didn't do it on TV? Hell, everyone knew for at least 24 hours before it happened that he was going to Miami. Take off your skirts.

LeBron is quite a conundrum though. Has a big enough ego to have a huge one hour special but still able to be D-Wade's Robin in South Beach. He is Gloria's son.

Dan Gilbert sounds like a fuck. Nobody is going to want to play for that clown.

Drew said...

From someone who isn't a Cavs fan...the best part about this is that EVERY fan base in the country is going to hate the Heat more than any other team. It's going to be a circle jerk of hate. When they are on TNT on a Thursday playing the Thunder...EVERYONE will be rooting for the Thunder to win. Hell, my Dad hates the Lakers and said last night that he may have to learn how not to because he will definitely root for them if they play the Heat in a series.

The Heat should be renamed to the Hate.

I do laugh at Cavs fans today. I remember your fucking arrogance when you fools bounced the Pistons the first time. Multiple championships and the next MJ were certainties. Not so much anymore.

Mr. Ace said...

Also, is that a glass dildo in the front of your trash can?

Anonymous said...

Ace, you're an idiot

- Jamey Carrol

GMoney said...

No, it's a Starting Lineup of "him" that was given to me and was on my desk. Not anymore. I know, I was surprised that they still make Starting Lineups, too.

And Ace, you are wrong. When you preach and preach loyalty, that is completely fucked. I think that I would have been much lessed pissed off without that bullshit special.

Anonymous said...

I haven't posted in a while but,
Will Lebron James be making an appearance at the final supper on the money shot main page, right next to the terrorist?

Actually, I think we are going to see a better Lebron James than we did before in Cleveland. He is now going to be the PG and run the Miami Heat like Magic Johnson.

What Lebron did was a dick move, but he was not going to stay in Cleveland to let the Bulls or Heat win championships while he stuck with the Cavs. The Cavs made "moves" for players but none of them ever panned out. I think you can blame Delonte West/Chris Bosh for Lebron leaving.

The only way he would have stayed was if the Cavs built a stadium in Akron. Like he said, that is his hometown.

Go Hansbrough,
---Lange

Anonymous said...

No, it's a Starting Lineup of "him" that was given to me and was on my desk. Not anymore. I know, I was surprised that they still make Starting Lineups, too.


--Actually, that is a McFarlane Sportspick.....lol.


I don't blame you for pitching it though G$. I thought it was a dick move to do it on National TV, and I thought it was a bigger dick move to not even have enough class to call Dan Gilbert to let him know that he was leaving.

I get a feeling that he is going to throw "that guy" under the bus, and start telling stories about "him" out of school.....

I feel bad for Paddio, at least you have the Yankees to fall back on (and congrats on getting Cliff Lee I guess...I wanted CL to end up in the NL)

I found it amusing that you drew the line at the Red Sox....some lines can NEVER BE CROSSED.....

--LWM

GMoney said...

And to make matters worse, Big Brother sucked last night! I did enjoy all the weiner puns, I suppose. Although bisexual Annie looks an awful lot like porn star, Liz Vicious. JULIE CHEN IS THE SABOTEUR!

Maybe it wasn't realistic that he would stay, but the way that he handled it was abysmal. You can't deny that.

Cliff Lee is not coming to NY until the offseason.

Drew said...

It was handled terribly and to not have the balls to call Gilbert before the announcement is just absurd. They bended over backwards for years for him and he doesn't even have the courtesy to call them. It's amazing just how much his image turned in the last month. He really could be the most hated player in the league now.

Tony B. said...

As a Bulls fan, it is absolutely insane that I felt worse for the city of Cleveland than the fact that LeBron didn't sign with the Bulls. That "special" made me feel like a worse person for watching. Without hesitation I will cheer against the Heat in every possible playoff scenario. I hope the Magic win that division.

GMoney said...

Exactly, didn't that whole charade make you feel dirty. I just sat there thinking, "I helped create this shit" and it made me feel terrible.

By the way, when I showed the wife the pic of the trash can and told her that I was going to use it, she yelled at me to wipe the coffee stains off the sides. Sure thing, because people will never forgive us if we have a dirty trash can.

Anonymous said...

Cavs fans were so in love with Lebron that they were blinded to the fact of what kind of person he really was. Fake, gutless, folds when the pressure is on.

I only hope that when he returns to Cleveland, he recieves the Albert Belle treatment. Beer bottles and batteries being hurled from the stands. Cleveland is good at somehting.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Good point on that being Wade's team. I did not think that he would stand for that. I cant wait for the first time that Wade takes the final shot and watch Lebron whine.

Also, I do not understand why Lebron let Wade and Bosh make the decision on where he was going. If Lebron said, "I am staying in Cleveland", one week ago they have a much different looking roster. Of course if Lebron had signed an extension two years ago. He would have one maybe two rings by now. Someone, really good would have joined them. But, who wanted to play on Lebronless Cavs team.

Hoffman

Mr. Ace said...

I don't think LeBron is a bad person. I actually think he is probably one of the few really good guys in all of sports with is stature.

He didn't owe Gilbert anything. The organization didn't bend over backward for him, they bent over backward FOR THE ORGANIZATION. If they wanted a serious shot at winning titles then they had to make moves. I hardly fault Bron for that. And if he would have told Gilbert he was leaving you know his bitch ass would have spread the news immediately.

LeBron made Gilbert $100 million richer. LeBron made Dan Gilbert. Nobody knew who that fucktard was before Bron. LeBron made the Cavs relevant. Gilbert is pissed because his pockets got hurt, not the team or city. You should be happy with what you got.

Could he have gone about it a better way? Sure. But did Bron really do anything wrong?

Anonymous said...

Ace you truely are a stupid piece of shit. What he didnt owe us was a fucking 1 hour special on worldwide tv shitting on his hometown and covering it up with a shitty excuse saying it was for the boys and girls club. We arent asking him for anything, we are asking that he didnt go about what he did the way he did it.

Had he wanted to win so bad in Cleveland, why didnt he take less money with us, like he is doing in Miami, so we could bring in more and better talent to surround him.
Why didnt he sign a longer contract with us to guarantee players coming in the opportunity to play with him.

None of us are saying he owed us anything or is completely wrong for leaving. He is wrong for leaving the way he did, announcing it the way he did.

And you say no one will want to play for an owner that backs up his organization and city? And will gladly pay the luxury tax year in and year out to win?

Cleveland did nothing to try and help him win??? Shaquille Oneal and Antawn Jamison are currently cavaliers. Yes shaq blows and antawn is old, but you cant say danny ferry and the organization wasnt trying to prove that they will do whatever it takes to help him win. In the end he is a giant pussy who proved that is will never be as good as MJ and cant win as a lone superstar of a team.

You and your incredibly terrible comments are a fucking joke.

Seal

GMoney said...

Gilbert was and is still a billionaire. He made that money before fucko was even in high school.

You don't see what he did wrong? Are you the dumbest person on the planet? HE TOOK THE FUCKING EASY WAY OUT! Instead of paying his dues and earning a ring, he is piggybacking off of others and trying to win empty rings. How do you not see this? What's wrong is that he spit in the face of competitive sport and the history of the NBA. They all did. If they do win a title, it won't be as special. They will be the most worthless rings in sports history. Even worse than when Jose Canseco got a ring with the 2000 Yankees. They claim to be being unselfish, but in fact, it's extremely selfish as they are putting their own egos and desire to collect empty jewelry over everything else.

Even you, the assfister extraordinaire, can not argue with this.

GMoney said...

By the way, I love you, Seal! I will never stop saying your name.

GMoney said...

Let's go one step further to shut you up for good:

Would Tim Duncan have ever done this? Any of it. The drawn out bullshit, the show, leaving...would he have done it?

Of course not. And he's not even from San Antonio. He's not even from the US! It's about class and he showed zero class throughout this whole process.

Drew said...

Just when you think Ace can't be any more stupid, he pulls out that post. Wow. If his parents were to read that post and given the opportunity to back in time, they definitely would take the opportunity to go back and abort him.

Mr. Ace said...

Haha, well I'm glad I could bring all of you queers together to unite.

What LeBron did was a dick move, no doubt about it. He went on TV to slap his dick on Dan Gilbert's face and it worked. Bron obviously didn't get along with someone in the front office or he would have never done this.

I agree with you guys, just not to the crazy extent that you tards do.

I hope his family has moved out of Ohio because they are not safe.

That said, Dan Gilbert did Bron a huge favor by writing his open letter to Cavs fans. Cavs fans may love him for it, but everyone else sees him as a giant bloody douche. Seal, nobody will want to play for that prick and we will see how willing he is to pay that luxury tax now that Bron isn't filling seats.

Tim Duncan is great, don't bring him into this.

Anonymous said...

You hope his crack head whore of a mom moved? she deserved to die before all this shit happened. Im incredibly surprised that you, Ace, of all people are looking out for LeBrons family.

Seal

GMoney said...

They aren't in the luxury tax. Not even close. 12 million under to be exact. And I wouldn't expect them to go wild on spending over the next year or two anyway. Those days are likely over with.

It may not have been Gilbert's finest hour, but it's exactly what the Cavs fans needed. They needed to hear that.

And everyone laughs at Cleveland anyway so who cares if this adds to it? DG got his shots in and that is what matters. Did you know that "he" did not return one phone call of Gilbert's since the Cavs season ended? Wouldn't you be a tad upset, too.

Anonymous said...

Oh and did you also know that Lebron's "camp" or Lebron payed Jim Gray to do the interview and not ESPN?! He payed money to put on that fucking shit show.

Seal

Anonymous said...

you guys hear what Gilbert did with Lebrons fatheads? He marked the prices of all Lebrons fatheads at $17.41, the year benedict arnold was born. The worlds most famous betrayer.

Seal