Thursday, July 08, 2010

Nick Saban = Hollywood Hunk

(Starring Gabourey Sidibe as Terrence Cody)

I've seen Titanic.  It was horrible.  Even the nudity doesn't make it worth the three hours of cheesy romantic bullshit.  I have always felt that it was the worst movie that I had ever sat through (other than Forgetting Sarah Marshall).  It may soon have company (but I doubt it):

Following his cameo last year in the hit The Blind Side, Nick Saban is hitting the silver screen again. This time, he's starring in a documentary from Flashlight Media Group entitled Nick Saban: Gamechanger.

Saban gave the filmmakers unprecedented access this winter and spring, allowing them to follow him during A-Day weekend, to staff meetings, on a trip to film a commercial for ESPN's College GameDay and even to his Georgia mountain home on Lake Burton.

The film will debut in theaters on August 24, and will be available on DVD after the run on the silver screen ends.
HOLY SHIT?  This is a real movie?  A movie starring the always charismatic and enthusiastic NICK SABAN?  He makes Steven Wright look like Sam Kinison!  And it's going to be in actual movie theaters?  Who outside of the wasteland of Alabama would pay to watch this?  Even the most diehard college football fan recognizes that the only thing that this movie would accomplish is curing insomnia.

I can tell you exactly how the movie goes:  in every scene, the star of the movie is an asshole.  There.  I just spoiled the entire movie for you.  And since when is a coach considered a "Gamechanger" anyway?  I hate this.  I hate Nick Saban.  I hate Hollywood for making this crap while not yet convincing Lindsay Lohan to a Naughty America scene.  The SEC may be awesome at football, but the South still sucks.


Anonymous said...

I had no idea Nick Saban was this popular on a national level. I am gonna gamble and guess nut shots on YouTube will probably net more viewers. This sounds outrageously retarded and I don't want to be within 100 yards of anyone associated with this shit pile or in the same city block of people who are willing to watch it. The only way you should consider watching this is if you are given a choice between watching the documentary or getting fucked up the ass with a loaded gun...even then I would give the gun bit a generous thought.

Drew said...

This sounds like the worst documentary ever. The ONLY way that I would find this interesting is if they did the whole thing on Saban's oversigning process. NOBODY oversigns like Saban at Alabama. So, I would love to see how he signs 30 some kids and then how he and his coaches find ways/reasons to get the bad players off his team to fit in the new freshmen. Like..."Nick...that Junior WR Bradley Thomas that didn't sniff the field last year. He was 10 minutes late for his Econ class the other day. That's a violation of team rules. There's one."

Fuck Saban.

GMoney said...

Personally, I would rather watch a doc of Urban Meyer acting like he cares about his family and faking health issues.

Drew said...

Can we also add how Urban was telling recruits that he had dreams that told him that player was destined to be a Gator? Then I'm all in on the Urban doc.

MuDawgfan said...

The hate for the self-aggrandizing documentary is certainly understandable.

However, if you're starting or rebuilding a college football program and money is no object - who else are you going to hire? Mack Brown is close to retirement, Jim Tressel only wins games against teams who have total idiots for a head coach, Urban Meyer will be dead before 2012. He's the absolute best college football coach in America.

GMoney said...

Saban is no Shane Montgomery.

Grumpy said...

Or even Tim Rose. If you watch this you are a loser. I don't want to put a penny in that dirtbag's pocket.