Thursday, July 22, 2010

Charlie Coles Is Fucking Crazy

This is how you properly twist a titty, motherfucker!
Well, it's official.  On Friday, November 26th, my beloved RedHawks basketball squadron will invade The Schott for a contest with the evil anOSU team.  Obviously, Spaz Matta has been ducking us for years and only now agreed to play the Red and White during a rebuilding year.  That fucking coward.  I'm almost 100% sure that I will be in attendance for this one.  After all, I've been wanting this for years even if we aren't going to be very good (our guards are going to be TERRIBLE).  Who won the last meeting between the two schools in an early 90's NIT tourney?  That's fucking right.  WE STILL OWN YOU!!!

Here's the problem.  AnOSU is going to be really solid this coming season even after losing Evan Turner and Mark "World's Most Overrated Blogger" Titus.  Yet the Buckeyes are probably only the third toughest team on our OOC schedule.  Look, I like that Charlie goes out and schedules the big dogs.  I really do.  But this year's slate is fucking IMPOSSIBLE.  They will be lucky to win TWO of these 13 games.  Just look at it...I'll wait...I swear that you'll shit yourself when you run through this bitch:

Home:
1-3. 3 games hosting a tourney (San Diego State [Steve Fisher comin' to Oxford, yo!], Wisconsin-Green Bay, IUPUI)
4. Cincinnati (2009 record: 19-16, 2009 NIT Participant)
5. Xavier (2010 pre-season top 30 team)
6. Troy (2009 record: 20-13, 2009 NIT Participant)
7. Towson (2009 record: 10-21)

Road:
1. Kansas (2009 NCAA Tournament)
2. Ohio State (2009 NCAA Tournament)
3. Dayton (2009-10 NIT National Champions)
4. Wright State (2009 record: 20-12)
5. Belmont (2009 record: 19-12)
6. Duke (2009-10 NCAA National Champions)

How fucking hard is that?  Only two of those teams failed to win TWENTY games last year!  That might be tougher than playing in the goddamn ACC!  I want to pencil in Towson as a win but they rolled us by double digits last year in their barn.  This is fucking absurd.  Charlie is going to kill these kids.  If his goal is to be the first coach to ever start 0-13 but have an RPI in the top 25, well, mission accomplished.  What am I saying here?  OF COURSE, we are going to beat the Buckeyes.  Jon Diebler is worse than anyone that ever went to Miami University.  That rat-faced bitch is going to get destroyed.  Julian Mavunga is gonna feed Columbus his shit!  Don't you worry, Jules is bringing his "BAD MOTHERFUCKER" wallet with him.

One more time though, LOOK AT THAT MURDERER'S ROW!!!  This is going to be another frustrating season.  When does the college hockey season start again???  Oh, we can't win that either?  When does the 2011 football season begin then?

19 comments:

Grumpy said...

This is why we end up with a mediocre record every year, no interest and pitiful attendance. I'm tired of it, and Charlie's shtick is wearing thin.

GMoney said...

By the way, Happy Birfday, Mr. Ace. I hope you choke to death.

This is the toughest OOC schedule I've ever seen.

Nate B said...

I saw a Mark Titus blog t-shirt in an apparel store the other day, which had me thinking if that shitty blog could do it, why can't this half as shitty blog do it too?

You had a good thing going with your Dos Equis slogan. That could be t-shirt material. Why'd you take it down?

GMoney said...

I actually own a Club Tril shirt myself, too. I just think that he's sort of acting like a douche the way that he handles his site ever since the season ended.

If someone wants to make t-shirts, have at it, hoss. I know that I won't be.

Drew said...

tOSU will win by 30 plus and Diebs will show you fools a thing or two about how to drain ten threes in a game. Should be a nice drunken crowd with Michigan the next day.

MUDawgfan said...

I promise you Ohio State won't win by 30 points. IF they win, it'll be by 10-15 points and the over/under won't exceed 115 points.

We're slowing that shit down mother fucker. Ask Coach Cal and Kentucky how tough the old Redhawks are early in the season.

Drew said...

Why don't I just ask New Mexico how hard it is to play you guys early in the season...since they dropped a 25 spot on you last November.

It's gonna be a blood bath and Thad might rip out Charlie Coles heart and show it to the crowd as the time winds down.

GMoney said...

We'll play well and keep it close. I'm not worried about that. The game means more to our kids than it does yours.

New Mexico was an anomaly. Third game in three nights last year and we only go 7 deep anyway.

I've already told the missus to put in for floor seats for that game. I don't want to have to work hard to sucker punch Rat Boy.

Anonymous said...

These are your real mail in post. No one gives a fuck about Miami basketball in July!

GMoney said...

DURRRRRRRR, LOOGIT ME! I'M AN ANONYMOUS COMMENTER BITCHING ABOUT WHAT DOES AND DOES NOT ENTERTAIN ME! EVENTHOUGH THIS IS NEWS TO MANY OF THE READERS HERE THAT WENT TO ONE OF THOSE TWO SCHOOLS! I CAN SHOVE BOTH OF MY FISTS UP MY ASS!

Get fucked. It's July. Nothing is going on. Why don't you go swallow some rat poison.

Drew said...

Hey anon....nobody gives a fuck about your opinions 365 days of the year.

Anonymous said...

Toughest OOC schedule ever? Maybe comparing to Miami's past schedules, but toughest ever? C'mon...

Seal

Drew said...

G$....I think Anon's ability to fit both fists up his ass was a genetic trait passed down by his Father....who is hopefully dead.

Anonymous said...

I know a guard who is transfering into Miami of Oxford from a D-3 school in Tennessee. He has no business playing D-1 ball, although he won't get destroyed in the MAC. So yeah, your guards will suck.

-Ace

GMoney said...

Ace, is his name McHenry or something like that?

Seal, obviously I did no research on this but 6 of those teams are in collegehoopsnet's preseason top 40. Kansas. Duke. Ohio State. Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

His name is Pointer. He may not be able to get in until the Winter/Spring semester because of some transfer BS though.

-Ace

Anonymous said...

Miami basketball sucks as much dick as Dut.

Anonymous said...

If She$ can't use her ticket, I would be glad to take it off her hands.

-Damman

The Iceman said...

Referring to OSU as tOSU is gayer than sucking 10 dicks at the same time.