Monday, June 07, 2010

More Like The Brown Bear

The PGA was in town this week for Jack's annual tournament. I did not attend because I was sick and didn't have passes anyway. That is probably a good thing though since I usually attend on Saturday when I go and there was a 4.5 hour rain delay during round 3. I would have been blackout drunk before even seeing a shot. Anyway, there are a few things that made The Memorial memorable this weekend:

*Rickie Fowler looked like a fucking Reese's package. Worst outfit ever. When you dress like a box of Tide, you should lose.
*Justin Rose is still a bag of pale dicks. Much like Justin Rosenberg (you still out there?).
*Tiger did not get his hands on She$ so that made for a successful weekend.

And, of course, this little nugget that Jack Nicklaus dropped on us during today's telecast. CBS came back from a commercial with an aerial shot of the Columbus Zoo. Jim Nantz was being his typical douchey self while mentioning that Nicklaus and Jack Hanna have the same first names. What a coincidence!!! The Golden Bear then went above and beyond with a zoo story. He said that one time he was there looking at the monkeys when one of them picked up his "stuff" and flung it at him like a shortstop. AND IT HIT HIM IN THE CHEST! One of the most successful athletes of all time had monkey shit thrown at him! I would kill a man to see video of that. God bless old people with a live microphone and no mental filter.

Ironically, Fuzzy Zoeller told a similar story but instead of a "monkey" it was a "black guy". And instead of "stuff", he got hit by "fried chicken". That's just how Fuzzy rolls.


Drew said...

Rickie Fowler has more swag than you will ever have.

GMoney said...

Get a haircut, bitch.