Monday, June 07, 2010
The PGA was in town this week for Jack's annual tournament. I did not attend because I was sick and didn't have passes anyway. That is probably a good thing though since I usually attend on Saturday when I go and there was a 4.5 hour rain delay during round 3. I would have been blackout drunk before even seeing a shot. Anyway, there are a few things that made The Memorial memorable this weekend:
*Rickie Fowler looked like a fucking Reese's package. Worst outfit ever. When you dress like a box of Tide, you should lose.
*Justin Rose is still a bag of pale dicks. Much like Justin Rosenberg (you still out there?).
*Tiger did not get his hands on She$ so that made for a successful weekend.
And, of course, this little nugget that Jack Nicklaus dropped on us during today's telecast. CBS came back from a commercial with an aerial shot of the Columbus Zoo. Jim Nantz was being his typical douchey self while mentioning that Nicklaus and Jack Hanna have the same first names. What a coincidence!!! The Golden Bear then went above and beyond with a zoo story. He said that one time he was there looking at the monkeys when one of them picked up his "stuff" and flung it at him like a shortstop. AND IT HIT HIM IN THE CHEST! One of the most successful athletes of all time had monkey shit thrown at him! I would kill a man to see video of that. God bless old people with a live microphone and no mental filter.
Ironically, Fuzzy Zoeller told a similar story but instead of a "monkey" it was a "black guy". And instead of "stuff", he got hit by "fried chicken". That's just how Fuzzy rolls.