Wednesday, June 16, 2010

LeBron Might Not Be Going, But I Am


Hey peckerheads, I'm done for the week. Catholics have church, fat people have Wisconsin, stupid people have the Horseshoe, Scientologists have Blargon 7 or wherever the fuck they kill brain cells, and G$ has Yankee Stadium as his place of worship. And I'm currently en route to the Bronx as you probably read this. We're leaving at 5:45 AM so I better be.

I'm bringing Damman along to sample what great baseball looks like for the next two days. As an Indians fan, he will probably be very confused. It is my first trip to the new cathedral and I'm absolutely jacked to spend $9 on a can of PBR in the bleachers and eating a big ass plate of pastrami at the Yankee Tavern as well.

Like I said, we're going to be at the Phillies/Yankees World Series rematch tonight and tomorrow. With Jamie Moyer, Joe Blanton, and AJ Burnett scheduled to pitch, I expect to catch a home run in the outfield. Don't assume that there will be many stories though as we're driving to the NYC with my parents, sister, and uncle. That isn't really a murderer's row for drunken debauchery in the Big Apple. But nevertheless, it should be fun.

Ace is running the show Thursday and Friday for me and I won't have access to make sure you all play nice so behave yourselves. Uncle Ace is a gentle raper. Oh, and yes, we are driving through the night after Thursday's game so that I can be back at work on Friday morning. Why is that? My twat boss took Friday off for the fucking soccer game and I was forced to make it back. Fuck that shit. And fuck Tom Izzo (not really, but saying no right away would have been nice). I can't to hear Enter Sandman as Mariano comes running in from the bullpen. GO YANKEES!!!

8 comments:

Grumpy said...

Parents, sister and uncle? No self respecting man would call that a road trip. Have fun.

Drew said...

Does Damman get a shot at giving your Dad the road head, or will you just hog that job?

I enjoyed the new Yankees Stadium on my visit last year...once I got past the 50,000 douchebags that were also there.

You know the Cavs aren't going to get LeBron when a coach decides he's heard enough to pass on a job that would double his salary.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Drew. This doesn't look good at all for Lebron coming back. Does G$ know that his blackberry has the internet and he can log on to this site with it?

dut

Mr. Ace said...

What are you, 13? I thought you and Damman were just going on a lovers retreat, which is gay. I didn't know it was a full family affair and you were even allowed to bring a friend.

Lebron refused to even talk to Izzo...I don't know if that means Lebron is leaving or he didn't want to play for Izzo. Or absolutely nothing.

Drew said...

"You were even allowed to bring a friend"....haha...I wonder if Damman's parents gave him money for his meals and lodging?

GMoney said...

Oh you guys can eat a ton of my shit. I'm sitting in a car for 8+hours, what else would you call it?

PA is fucking boring as shit.

Anonymous said...

Best comment ever by Ace... "you were even allowed to bring a friend"

I literally laughed out loud at that one.

Seal

Anonymous said...

I was going to say I wish for you to wreck and die on the way, but then we would be stuck with Ace all the time. Please hurry back. Thanks!

-M