Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Forbes Knows Nothing About Hate

Anyone remember when Steve Forbes hosted Saturday Night Live? He was easily one of the worst hosts ever (no one will ever beat Wayne Gretzky). I believe that he is the creator of Forbes Magazine. I might be wrong though. Hell, I just wanted to incorporate Teve Torbes into this post without mentioning Lamar Alexander #2.

Anyway, Forbes launched their list of the top ten most disliked sports figures of 2010. There were some easy choices for this, but I find their list lacking. They missed out on some truly awful people associated with sports. Their list:

10. Gilbert Arenas - I can see it. Not only is his contract ridiculous, but he likes to threaten to kill his teammates.
9. Allen Iverson - I don't get this unless it's blowback for his horrible 30 For 30 documentary. AI is completely irrelevant and has been for three years now.
8. A-Rod - Makes sense although that whole steroids thing has pretty much been pushed aside by the masses.
7. T.O. - Really? He isn't THAT bad. He doesn't break the law and refrained from killing Dick Jauron last year. Maybe that's why he's hated though.
6. Mark McGwire - Huh? People still care about this ginger?
5. Jerry Jones - Five seems about right for Satan's Son.
4. Tiger Woods - Yeah, people probably don't like cheating on your spouse thousands of time.
3. Ben Roethlisberger - Rape accusations never go over well.
2. Al Davis - Who hates Al Davis? The only people that should are Raiders fans and they love him!
1. Michael Vick - Let this be a lesson, NEVER kill animals. Most have forgiven Ray Lewis for killing a person, but if it was a shih tsu, he would be dead right now.

With the exception of Jerry, none of these guys would even sniff my list. My list is waaaay more accurate than what Forbes concocted. Suck my hate-filled cock, Teve. Oh, you want to know who I would rank in my top ten of most disliked sports figures of 2010? Sure thing.

10. Urban Meyer - There is really nothing to like about this asshole. He quits to spend time with his family, spent a week with them, and that apparently cured his ailing heart. And he looks like a walking penis. And he cries when thinking about his QB.
9. Luke Walton - Did you know that Luke has the same number of championship rings as his father? That is NOT right. And for some reason, hot women love him. There is nothing to like about this guy.
8. Albert Haynesworth - I did this last week. I'm not getting into it again. By the way, Albert paralyzed a guy in a car accident yet has given him nothing in return. What a stand up guy! He always stands up for the guys that he causes to sit down forever.
7. Colts Fans - They really came on strong this past year as one of the most objectionable fanbases in all of sports.
6. Jon Diebler - Ratface (dude, he looks like he could be Coach K's son, doesn't he?) can only shoot threes and does nothing else well. Yet anOSU fans will try to convince you that he's a good player. He is not...and I hate white basketball players. Reverse racism at it's finest.
5. Tony Romo - Faggot. I've heard rumors through unnamed sources that he used to toss Flozell Adams' salad on Thursday evenings. OK, I just made that up but the point is, you wanted to believe it.
4. Jerry Jones - What an asshole. He's won one playoff game in 15 years. That makes me happy.
3. Terrelle Pryor - Jail or a wheelchair...I don't care which one he ends up in, but the sooner the better. Actually, being a quad in jail would be nice. And he still can't throw despite what you homos are going to say.
2. Phil Mickelson - DURRRRR, LOOGIT ME! DURRR, I'M GONNA TRY TO DRIVE THIS PAR FIVE DURRRR! AND WHEN I FAIL MISERABLY, I WILL HIT A BIG DRAW FROM THREE FAIRWAYS OVER AND MY STUPID FANS WILL LUV ME!!! I have never seen a luckier athlete in my life. Shut your mouth, it's 90 fucking percent luck with his shit-shot-saves. Phil is fucking retarded.
1. Jonathon Papelbon - We all agree on this. Let there be no doubt. Just look at the picture.

I should say this before I go since I'm talking about people that I hate. I actually don't mind Curt Schilling now that he's an analyst on ESPN. He isn't THAT bad. Now, it could be because I only listen to him when he's with Cowherd and Colin could make anyone sound good. But still. I don't hate the guy as much anymore.

OK, now that we got through this, I've got a HUGE lineup of posts coming up. Tomorrow, we start part ONE of a TWO part story that I've yet to tell which you will surely enjoy. And on Friday, expect my running diary of the always entertaining NBA Draft! It's gonna be the shit! Or just shit! Eat my shit!


Anonymous said...

How can you leave out 10) Mark Jackson 9) Brent Musburger 8) Greg Schiano, 7) Shockey 6) Marty Brennaman 6) Milton Bradley 5) Chipper Jones 4) Tragic Johnson 3) Brett Favre 2) Manny Ramirez and 1) Youkilis / Pedroia...?

Upstate Underdog said...

I agree with anon about Youk and Pedroia. There has to be room somewhere on the list for them.

Mr. Ace said...

Speaking of Colin Cowherd, he deserves to be on this list. Josh McDaniels deserves some conversation as well.

Do people really still hate Vick that much? They must have done the survey at a PETA convention.

GMoney said...

I don't dislike Youk as much anymore since he's raking for Glenallen Kill this season. Who hates Greg Schiano? Musberger is the best. Larry Jones is not hateable. I did forget about Favre though. But then again, his shitty playoff play made me happy.

I thought about putting Berman on as his US Open coverage last week was ATROCIOUS, but decided to leave announcers off.

I bet you all were surprised that I included Urban, huh?

Drew said...

I think Iverson definitely should be on that list. He's quit on two different teams in the last two years. He's pathetic.

GMoney said...

Only in soccer can Americans be equals with a fucking African tribe at halftime. Embarrassing.

Mr. Ace said...

For the record, the US got absolutely ass fucked by a bogus disallowed goal again.

GMoney said...

There's always some excuse for these assholes.

Algeria probably can't even afford shoes. They are just wearing bread bags on their feet and "we" still can't score.

Tony B. said...

Milton Bradley has to be on this list.

No OJ Simpson? Is that because he's been out of sports so long or because he was hilarious in the Naked Gun movies?

Mr. Ace said...


Drew said...


GMoney said...

I guess the good thing about this "win" is that my boss will be taking off more work now. YAY AMERICA!!!

Drew said...

This World Cup could not have gone worse for G$.

First a horrible call robs the U.S. of a win and gets tons of national attention.

Now the face of U.S. soccer scores a goal in the 91st minute for the U.S. to not only advance, but also WIN the group they were playing in.

Drew said...

G$...The next U.S. game is on Saturday, so unless you work Saturdays this win had no benefit for you.

GMoney said...

Fucking keeps holding me down. Where are the terrorists when you really need them???