Friday, June 11, 2010

College Football Funbag(s)

(Nothing to do with college football...everything to do with funbags)
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There is just too much going on in the college football world not to touch on it. And you're all very lucky that is the case. I was totally prepared to give an in-depth preview of the "Revolutionary War II" between USA and the redcoats. But you probably don't care and I don't really know shit about soccer, so lets talk some college football.

The Sanctions
The USC sanctions have came down and the NCAA proved that there is a set of testicles somewhere in the bunch. I had always thought that the NCAA was really going to take a stand this time and give USC more than just a slap on the wrist, and they did. Bravo, NCAA, you aren't totally worthless and nutless after all.

So USC is banned from post-season play for the next two years, will lose 30 schollies over the next three years, forced to vacate wins from 2004-05, and are on probation for four years. Boom, bitch. Apparently the committee was VERY close to dropping a TV ban on the Trojans as well. That would have been fucking two years nobody would have even known who USC was. But the bowl ban is really going to hurt them. Good luck getting a bunch of kids to play for nothing when they have been promised the dream of BCS championships. If USC can manage to hold strong and put together an one loss season, or maybe even go undefeated, then the ban really won't kill them because the media will still talk about "what if USC was eligible, they would totally win the National Championship." However, they won't. USC will lose four games next year and at least that many the following. Thus, destroying the stronghold they held in recruiting California and putting them back in the middle of the pack, especially if half of the Big 12 joins the PAC 10 party. See: SMU.

The fact that Juniors and Seniors are allowed to transfer without sitting out a year is huge as well. Pete Carroll just left them. They can't play in a bowl game their last two years on the team. Lane Kiffin is a douche fuck who nobody wants to play for. You best believe upperclassmen will be finding greener pastures(at Michigan).

Also, Jay Bilas is the kind of guy who will tongue punch your fart box if you let him. He was on some ESPN radio show blathering about how terrible the NCAA is because they are taking away scholarships from USC and that ruins kids educations and futures. That is somebody who obviously just doesn't get it. What a fucktard.

Would somebody please get a microphone in front of Reggie Bush.

The Expansion
It's happening people. Nebraska fired the first shot and now the Big 12 is a war zone just waiting to be pillaged. Colorado is already heading to the PAC whatever. The remaining Big 12 schools are going to hold a meeting to make it seem like they are doing whatever they can do save the conference, but they are really just bringing in Kansas, Missouri, Kansas State, Baylor, and Iowa State officials to point and laugh at them. It appears the PAC 16 has become real. Which fucking sucks. I really didn't think the Big Ten would let Texas get away, but that's what's happening.

So where does the Big Ten go from here? They have options. There are still some rumors being tossed around that the Big Ten is making a proposal to include ND, Texas, Texas A&M, and Missouri(Mizz invite contingent on ND accepting), but I don't think those will happen. If Texas really wants to make its money then the Big Ten is the obvious option. But it appears the PAC 16 will be a smoother transition and a better fit overall.

Anyways, the Big Ten. Yesterday WFNI in Indianapolis was reporting that Notre Dame, Syracuse, Rutgers, and Maryland were coming to the Big Ten. I wouldn't mind this because; 1. Notre Dame is included and if we miss out on Texas we have to get Notre Dame, and 2. I could talk about how much of a pimp the Big Ten is, banging at least one slut from three different conferences and one independent. But this isn't ideal. Rutgers is a shit school and has zero cash to compete. Syracuse doesn't play football, and that's what it's all about. Maryland has some potential, but just seems like a random addition.

I don't want Rutgers. I don't really want Syracuse. I would rather replace both of them with Missouri and Pitt. But it appears Missouri's whoring itself around has put off any conference that was interested in them...enjoy the Mountain West ya fucks. Syracuse and Rutgers don't bring in the NY market. Besides, getting ND will already do that. But I understand the D.C. draw that Maryland would bring so I can live with that. Either way, shits going to get crazy these next two weeks. I love college football in June.

(Caveat: I wrote this yesterday afternoon. Last night a Kansas City TV station reported that Texas and Texas A&M were coming to the Big Ten. Which...HOLY FUCK! Or TAMU will go to the SEC...or Oklahoma will go to the SEC...or Texas will join the Big East, okay maybe not. Who fucking knows.)

The Fuckjob
Michigan is an academic powerhouse. They are one of the most prestigious Universities in the world. It has one of the lowest undergraduate acceptance rates in the country, so it should be no surprise that a kid with an ACT score of 18 and a GPA of 2.6 doesn't qualify to be a student at U of M. However, when that kid is one of the best defensive backs in the country, the best recruit in the class, one of the most controversial signings, and you have accepted his letter of intent, don't you think you have to sign him?

Yes, Demar Dorsey was released from his letter of intent from Michigan, meaning he can pursue other schools freely. Dorsey didn't have the grades for Michigan, but he does have the grades for almost every other D1 school. Dorsey's past has absolutely nothing to do with him not being accepted into Michigan, but I think it should play a role. It should have gotten him admitted.

If Dorsey would have stayed with Florida, or went to Florida State or USC, nobody would know who this kid is. But because he chose to better himself by going to Michigan and get away from a bad situation in his home state, his name and past got dragged through the media and he and his family have been harassed non-stop since his commitment. Now, in June, the University turns its back on him. Thanks for going through all that trouble and putting up with all the bullshit you have over the past six months, but you can't come here. That's fucking wrong. You owe it to this kid to let him be a student-athlete at Michigan.

I'm not saying that Michigan should accept every single kid just because they are one of the best athletes in the country, I understand Michigan has standards. But you can't string this kid along all this time and he puts in the work in class, gets eligible, puts up with the media shitstorm and then slam the door in his face. You have to look into a kids grades before you offer him and if you think he can improve his grades then go ahead and offer him, but you can't hold him hostage until fucking June and then turn him loose after every other school has filled up their class. If Dorsey's grades were as terrible as they supposedly were then he should have never been offered a scholarship and never been put in this situation. But he was offered and he accepted that offer. And Michigan made the decision that they couldn't accept him. A horrible decision that not only makes the University look like a bunch of arrogant pricks, but fucks over an 18 year old kid after he did everything in his power to become a Michigan Wolverine. Fuck you, Michigan.

(Caveat: Christ. Can the college football world not turn upside down five times a day. There have been recent reports saying Dorsey had an ACT score of 12 and a GPA of 1.9 and RichRod just offered the kid a scholly without asking admissions or the AD. I find that story hard to believe, but after "practice-gate" it's obvious the Athletic Department at Michigan is clueless. Even if DD had these terrible grades, that probably makes the situation even worse because Michigan still held him hostage until just a few days ago.)


GMoney said...

"That is somebody who obviously just doesn't get it."

That is somebody who obviously went to Duke so you know that he sucks.

I think that it would be very WWE if the Big 12 summit of remaining members just decided, fuck it, let's bring Utah and Boise State in to replace NEB and that school who got shellacked by Toledo. It won't happen but the more swerves the better.

Mr. Ace said...

If the Big 12 really wants to stay together then I don't see why they wouldn't go after TCU and Boise. But neither of those schools really bring any money into the conference and that's what it's all about. The Big 12 as we know it is already dead...and thats about the only thing I know for sure.

MuDawgfan said...

Notre Dame, Syracuse, Rutgers, and Maryland

I realize this rumor has been trashed - but that would have been quite a grouping.
In one fell swoop you lock down Chicago, New York, New Jersey and DC media markets.

Massive dollar influx.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with your take on the UM & Dorsey situation. This kid has red flags all over the place on top of being a bare minimum qualifier to compete in the NCAA. It is obvious that DickRod made a unilateral decision in offering him. When has Michigan ever allowed a kid with his academic and personal history to play there? Trust me, in about 2 years you will be thanking UM admissions for not letting the kid in.

-Lil' Strut

Mr. Ace said...

LS, I'm not saying the kid didn't have his issues and RR may have offered him without checking with the AD, but more people than RR are involved with accepting a LOI. We've known about these personal issues and grade issues since January, it's not fair to him to cut him loose now. Especially after every one has trashed the kid for the past six months. I don't have a problem with Michigan not admitting him, I have a problem with how they went about it.

Michigan has allowed a couple questionable kids in in the past...most didn't turn out well, but some did. But that's not the point.

GMoney said...

There is no way in hell that Biakabutuka could read and they let him in. His 300 yard game against anOSU will always hold a special place in my black heart.

Dawg, markets don't matter at all if they lure in Notre Dame. When you have those faggots on board, EVERY market is yours.

Anonymous said...

GMoney - you're black?

Mr. Ace said...

... in his pants.

Anonymous said...

So he has no money in his wallet?

GMoney said...

What? I'm black? Where did you get that from? Is it because I do very little at work?

Anonymous said...

"special place in my black heart"

Nevermind. You can't be black if you have a job

Shook's Son said...

If G Money is black in his pants then I want some of G Money inside of me. KY optional.

GMoney said...

Alright, enough about everyone wanting to see my black python.

Boise is going to the MWC. With Utah, BYU, TCU, and the Broncos, that league is loaded (at least at the top).

Mr. Ace said...

At least Boise will finally have some real competition on their schedule other than the one good BCS team they play non-conference... Toledo is going to shock the world October 9th.

Grumpy said...

Rich Rod=loose cannon.