Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Who Are The Worst People in Sports History?

(Tonya Harding is the female Butterbean)

I pose you this question, if you were going to list the most horrible people in sports history, who would be on your list? A while back G Money asked me if I could come up with a new site banner because the one he has is a homosexual. I was at work sketching out some ideas and came up with something great...that was about three weeks ago and I had completely forgot about the idea until Saturday night, when I saw G$ double fisting with a Vodka-Cran in one hand and the half full bottle of champagne that he stole from the bridal table(keeping it classy) at Rex's wedding. She$ looked pissed--and sexy-- cause we were talking blog, so I made my pitch short and it is now officially a go. So I want The Money Shot Maniacs to have some say in which terrible people will be involved in the new banner. There is no real criteria. If you think somebody in the world of sports is a shit head then leave the name and reasoning in the comments. Here is my list, in no particular order.

Ben Roethlisberger- Pretty obvious. If you're a douche bag and you rape people, you're going to find yourself on my list. Even better, he is one of the most well known Alumni from Miami of Oxford, which pisses off G$, which makes me happy.

Rae Carruth- Ray gets a lot of play around these parts so I think it is important that he be recognized as the worst father/boyfriend/WR ever. Although I must admit, he had his shit together. Riding in the trunk off a car full of urine bottles and candy bars across the country is clearly the workings of an intelligent man. Can you believe this ass hole is getting out in less than a decade?

Mike Vick- I am a softy when it comes to animals. When I was in junior high I once knocked a squirrel off a telephone line by drilling it with a rock in the face. The squirrel fell to its death...I think my rocket arm killed it before it even hit the pavement. With tears of sadness in my eyes, I scooped the poor rodent up and gave him a proper burial in the alley behind my house. I have since vowed to never throw things at animals with ill intent. Vick was choking dogs out like he was Royce Gracie and torturing Pits like he was a lieutenant at Abu Ghraib. That shit's not cool

Chris Benoit- Another guy that gets a lot of play around here for impeccable fatherly instincts. It takes a sick fuck to be able to do something like that to your wife and child. And being a sick fuck is exactly what will get you on the banner.

Maurice Clarett- There has to be at least one Fuckeye on this list and while Mo didn't do anything nearly as abhorrent as Boldthose previously mentioned, it's just funny. I'm convinced, though, that if he had not been stopped by police that night he was found with a handle of Goose and a couple AK's, he would have been right at the top of this list. But there is still hope, he willing be getting let out of his cage soon.

Orenthal James Simpson- What kind of fucktard murders two people, one being the mother of two of his children, and then writes a book about it? That is one fucked up individual. Did you know one of OJ's children from his first marriage drowned in the pool? Did you know that OJ was standing on top of the child while it was drowning in the pool? Didn't think so. But it makes so much sense now.

This list could go on forever. People like Denny McClain(Hey, Tigers fans!), Lawrence Phillips, Ray Lewis, Donte Stallworth, Christian Peter, Mike Danton/David Frost, and Mark Chmura will get a serious look at making their way onto the new banner. But I need the help of the commentariat to come up with a comprehensive list to choose from. It can be from the 1920's(Grumpy). It can be a club owner. It can be a sports coach. It can be a fucking bat boy for all I care. So you have my permission to take the day off from work and scour the interwebs to come up with your own list and do your part in making the new banner as immaculate as it can possibly be. Godspeed, Maniacs.

Apparently this guy got wind of what I was doing today and wanted to throw his hat in the ring for banner consideration. Duly noted, Mr. Huguely.


GMoney said...

A couple come to mind right away:

Marge Schott would bring the sexy. That dick (with the hilarious mug shot) who purposely threw up on the little girl deserves mention. I've always had a soft spot for the Ligue's for kicking the shit out of Tom Gamboa.

And one more thing, that champagne was sitting on the table for at least two hours...who fucking wastes champagne? Not me. I'm going green. No waste.

Grumpy said...

Come on, on the Money Shot it has to be that goofy ass picture of Philip Rivers that G$ uses. That says it all.

Anonymous said...

Jayson Williams of the Nets merits some consideration

Anonymous said...

Claude Lemuiexe I don't know if the last name is spelled correct.

Naptown Wolverine

Drew said...

Ugueth Urbina is a good one.

Might as well put future Michigan Safety Demar Dorsey up there in advance.

I'll be thinking about more of these during the day.

Mr. Ace said...

I like what I am seeing here.

Come on, Grump. I expected you to throw out the Black Sox or something.

If Dorsey is considered then I guess we better throw in Jamel Turner, Jaamal Berry, and even the great Art Schlicter, right?

I forgot all about Ugee.

Marge Schott is one classy lady.

Drew said...


Jamel Turner won't ever make it to Columbus and I am thankful for that, since I think the city is much safer that way.

You really think Berry getting arrested for smoking weed is the same as Dorsey's mutliple robberies?

Tyson should probably be on this list. Ron Artest also would be a good one...and you know he's not done with his crazy.

Mr. Ace said...

Tyson should probably be on the list, but I like Tyson so I didn't include him. Sheed and Artest are in consideration.

I'm not getting into a Fuckeye throwdown today. I think being arrested for felony possession is just as serious as a couple B & E's, especially since Berry was arrested less than a year ago and Dorsey's incidents happened more than 3 years ago. Jamel Turner will be a Fuckeye. That is all.

GMoney said...

He has done nothing illegal, but I would like Kosta Koufos's pretty face somewhere in the collage please.

*Starbury qualifies!
*Urbina is a shoe-in
*Jim Leyritz killed a woman
*John Rocker seems to possess some skills
*How about that terrorist broad who whacked McNair?

Anonymous said...

Drew- don't expect a michigan fan (ace) to be rational.

We might as well throw the Michigan football player who got arrested while masturbating and stalking a college girl outside her front porch!

I can't believe nobody has mentioned Tiger Woods!


Grumpy said...

Ty Cobb.

Drew said...

Ty Cobb is fucking awesome. Shut the fuck up Grumpy. Anybody that jumps into stands and beats the hell out of a heckler with no hands is one of the coolest athletes ever.

Did anybody see the interview with Urbina from his Venezuelan jail on E60 year or two ago? If it's on Youtube it's worth watching. Basically, due to his funds he runs/owns the kitchen at the prison...so he's making money while being there. He also has a nice room with cable TV..and his woman can show up at any time for him to bang. He was rocking Ed Hardy gear during it too.

Tony B. said...

Steve Phillips and Harold Reynolds would make a dominant former ESPN employees duo.

Albert Belle, Milton Bradley, and Roberto Alomar should all be in and all be wearing Indians hats.

Mr. Ace said...

I thought about TW, but what he did isn't all time bad. It's every guys fantasy. Can't fault him for that. Thanks for the worthless comment, Dut.

McNairs bitch is up there.

Starbury is bat shit crazy, but does he belong with the rest of the terrible people being mentioned?

I'm liking Alomar, are Belle and Bradley really on his level?

Anonymous said...

Pete Rose? A collection of the biggest juice heads in baseball - Sosa, Mac, Bonds, and ARoid, Conseco?

J Saul

Tony B. said...

I guess it depends on if we're talking about rape,murder, or spitting AIDs ridden saliva at umpires versus being completely ignorant assholes. Most of the names mentioned by everyone belong, it's sifting through to get the cream of the crop that's the hard part.

GMoney said...

The Situation makes the banner or you're fired.

Anonymous said...

Ace- please explain what you meant by "its every guys fantasy." You sick fuck!

Mr. Ace said...

Umm...are you telling me every guy doesn't to be TW? Be a billion dollar athlete and fuck so many broads he can't even keep count? That, sir, is every guys fantasy.

Anonymous said...

First, leonard little. I can't bring myself to even capitalize this assholes name as that would imply some manner of respect.

Second, look up graham james. He would be at the top of the list here in Canada.


Clarkster said...

Prior to entering the NFL,Najeh Davenport allegedly broke into the dorm room of a Barry University woman, pulled down his pants and defecated in a laundry basket....Najeh Davenport-a-potty sounds like a shoo in for the site banner.

Mr. Ace said...

Najeh Davenport sounds like a guy I want to hang out with.

A New Experienced Me said...

I gotta throw Travis Henry in this discussion. Anyone who smokes enough weed to get a gang of elephants stoned and still maintains the sperm power to impregnate nine different women gets my consideration. In an honorable mention I'm also nominating the dude that pulls out a gun and starts shooting people on the field from The Last Boyscout.

Anonymous said...

Albert Belle's rap sheet:

-went into stands while at LSU to chase down a heckler

-threw baseball at heckler in the stands and hit him in the chest during his rookie season in Cleveland

-corked his bat

-ran down kids in his car who threw eggs at his house

-threw ball at reporter who got to close to him during warmups

-youtube ablert belle/fernando vina for the last reason


A New Experienced Me said...

Just don't call him Joey, Damman. You will rue the day my friend.

Anonymous said...

What about the guy from the CFL a couple years ago who was charged with knowingly sleeping with women while having a STD, I believe it was AIDS. How does an outstanding man like that not get in this discussion.

For the record, Vina sucks, and watching Belle run his ass over is still funnier than shit all these years later.