Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Glory Tase...They'll Pass You By

Monday, we sort of discussed the moral dilemma surrounding Jeff Ireland's questioning of Dez Bryant. I found nothing wrong with it but whatever. If you did, you are on Mike Greenberg's side and that makes you wrong AND a Jets fan. Today, we are going to hit the moral highway again.

Monday night, a 17 year old kid hopped the fence at a Phillies game in the 8th inning and ran onto the field. He called his dad asking if it was a good idea to which his father correctly told him that it was not. He did it anyway running from the cops for a minute or two before being taken the fuck down with a Taser. Now, cops usually just wait for these idiots to tire themselves out and then tackle the little fuckers, but this officer had seen enough and ended it with some high voltage. People are questioning whether this was necessary or not. Was this an overreaction by the cop or in line with what should be done to end these types of situations? I mean, after all, a Taser is a weapon capable of killing a person who is not built as great as I am.

What do I think? You're Goddamn fucking right that this was a legit use of force. That shithead was trespassing. What happened to the old America where if someone was on your property uninvited, you could fuck their world up? Reports state that he was not drunk or high so he was basically just making a scene with some disorderly conduct. He isn't supposed to be fucking out there. He knows it. The last baseball game that I went to, I didn't say to myself, "You know, this is fun but what would be even better would be if I got involved!" Of course not. People that run onto playing fields (for absolutely no fucking reason) are retards that deserve to be punished and punished severely. Unless he was just delivering Mac's love letter to Chase Utley...then that's cool.

This isn't the 1970's anymore where chicks with humongous tits ran onto the field to kiss players. That doesn't happen anymore (eventhough it should). No, today you have guys like the Ligue Boys running out on the field to beat up an old man (one of which carried a switchblade out there). You have Red Sox fans taking swipes at Gary Sheffield (it takes a real fuckcake to do something that stupid). You have Browns fans trying to be cool but getting PWNED by James Harrison (youtube "James Harrison Browns Fan"). People are dumber these days and their intentions are not always clear. These skidmarks are already committing a crime or two by hopping the fence and they should thusly be treated like criminals. If that means that force is necessary than so be it. I'll tell you what, if I was a pro athlete, I would rather have security be overly cautious than be the guy who got Monica Seles'ed in centerfield.

I think that the best thing to come from this is that now there is a legit punishment. Before, they would just eject you from the park and slap your wrist. Now if you get rowdy and stupid, expect to get struck by lightning, bitch. And when did stupid people think it was cool to run on the field of play anyway? It isn't. They are nothing more than an inconvenience to everyone else who has to wait for you to go down so that the game can restart.

Basically, what it comes down to is that if you aren't rocking DD's, just stay in your fucking seat. No one came to the game to watch you. The kid told his dad before making his move that "running onto the field is an opportunity of a lifetime".

You're damn right it was, kid. 40,000 people just got to see their first live Tasing. That is something that you never forget.


Grumpy said...

Got what he deserved. The next little fucker contemplating this shit might think twice. I'd like to Tase Mr. Ace so he would think twice before fucking with me again.

Also, best use of a Springsteen reference in a blog title thus far.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Colin Cowherd talked about this and is claiming that Tasing kills virtually no just drives the point home. Colin Cowherd is also a mindless animal corpse fucking pedophilic who eats his cereal with skunk spray instead of milk. But in this situation I happen to agree with him and you. Tase until your heart is content.

MuDawgfan said...

Storming the field after winning the motherfucking league is another thing entirely.

Rip those fucking goalposts down and punch Urban Meyer in the heart.

GMoney said...

"If he dies, he dies"--Ivan Drago

Mr. Ace said...

Why the fuck did they not tase the ass hole who ran out on the field in Philly last night?!?! That's the problem with doing this. If you tase one, you have to tase them all.

Drew said...

How great is that picture of the kid running and the security guard lining up his tase? I'm 100% positive that will be the best sports picture of 2010. Whatever award goes to the best sports picture should be given to that guy immediately.

Some retard ran on the field again in Philly last night and they didn't tase him. What the fuck is that about? If you do it the day after the tasing, then you are most definitely doing it looking to get tased. They should have double tased him.

Fuck, they should start tasing unruly fans from away teams that show up. I'm all about the taser era.

As that kid in I believe Florida so eloquently said, "Don't tase me bro!".

Anonymous said...

The Taser isn't considered lethal, it's a non-lethal alternative that looks like someone is still busting a 9mm in your ass. I don't think they are used enough. We shold start tasing more idiots in this world in my opinion...Talk back to the teacher, Tased. No papers in AZ, tased. Too fat and found eating a twinkee, tased. You can always adjust the voltage, but how embaressing would it be to lay on the floor in your middle school classroom getting your ass tased. I'd think twice about telling Mr Murco to fuck off.

J Saul

KPietsch said...

Nice, what a great way to start the morning.

I agree with Drew, great picture. lol

Anonymous said...

Jsaul- does this mean I can tase you every time you eat late night taco bell?

I'd like to see no reaction at all from security when someone runs on the field. the person would feel like an idiot and have nothing to do.


GMoney said...

Let's up the ante and set up snipers on the roof. No kill shots but definite wheelchair shots. Or we could just have James Harrison take care of every trespasser. He seems to have good form.

The voltage should be high enough to make you piss your pants. That would deter people from thinking this is cool.

Drew said...

Back to that original kid that got tased. How stupid is this kid? Who calls their Dad for permission to run onto the field during a baseball game? And his reasoning was even worse...something like, "'s a once in a lifetime chance. When can I do this again?". How are they so sure this kid wasn't on drugs? I don't think it's possible to have his line of thinking and not be on drugs. Was he never going to be at a baseball game ever again? Maybe they should have shot him with a real gun.

Nate B. said...

I've got to agree with Dut. Running on the field and having the entire stadium silent and watching you with no reaction would just be embarrassing.

Tony B. said...

Tasing is non-lethal. If you're out of control and getting detained, would you rather get stunned for a few seconds or have your kneecap destroyed by a billyclub. I'll go with the former.

I once saw a guy get tased at a club on Halloween. The looked like he was dressed as Tupac, though that could've been his everyday get up. He talked massive shit to a couple of cops that were just passing through and eventually pushed them over the edge. He threw one of the cops against the DJ booth and that's when the tasing began. This guy was such an animal that they called for back up and had to tase him at least five more times to get him under control.

Anonymous said...

I think he deserved to be tased. The reason they probably didn't tase the person last night is because they probably felt they could catch him without doing so.

Also, look closely at the picture, it looks like the kid pissed his pants.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

"Don't tase me bro!"