Friday, April 23, 2010

Well, That Was Fucking Wild

(Pictured: new Redskins O-Lineman, Trent "Silverback" Williams...what a beast!)

Holy shit. What a first round. I'm writing this right after the Broncos traded up to take Jesus as their third string QB. Damn. That was stupid. Denver is a terrible franchise. Would you rather have Jimmy Clausen and Dez Bryant or Jesus and that kid from Georgia Tech? Al Davis is laughing at the Broncos right now. Let's get some thoughts going on the first 32 picks of an amazingly entertaining draft. By the way, I'm 6 16-oz Bud Light cans in right now.

Fuck ESPN - GOD DAMMIT, STOP GIVING AWAY THE PICKS BEFORE THEY ARE ANNOUNCED, ASSHOLES!!! Fucking annoying. We don't need to see the guys talking on their cells. Why is Tom Jackson even there? He has said about four words tonight. I hate Gruden but him saying "dumbass" on the air was great.

The Skins draft a Silverback - Eh, I would have rather had Okung, but whatever. Trent Williams was gaining steam in the front office over the past few weeks and I trust Shanny when it comes to offensive lineman. Ace texted me that he may need some time to which I replied, "if it means that Donovan dies on the field, I'm fine with that".

The Seahawks OWNED it - Russell Okung AND Earl Thomas? What a fucking home run by Pete Carroll. Just an awesome first round with two cornerstone players.

Frank Gore just became a top 5 pick - Nice work by the Niners as well getting two stud o-lineman. Alex Smith has no excuses now.

Mike Holmgren is still batting .000 - Jake Delhomme. Seneca Wallace. And now he wastes a top ten pick on a nickel corner. The Browns have many needs...cornerback is not one of them. Joe Haden is not going to play over Sheldon Brown and Eric Wright. He just isn't. You don't piss away a top ten pick on a bench player. This was a bad pick. A very bad pick. Earl Thomas would have been great there. Fucking idiots. Still a horrible organization from top to bottom. Way to draft a player who was sliding at a position that you did not need.

Rolando McClain - A surprisingly solid pick by the Raiders. But Li'l Strut and She$ said it best, "LOOK AT ALL THE WHITE WOMEN AROUND MCCLAIN!". I expected it from LS, my wife noticing that was a surprise. It was about this pick that the wife told me to slow down on my beer drinking. Fuck that.

The Bills are still an enigma - I love CJ Spiller, but this was a Browns-esque pick. They didn't need another RB. They had the worst O-Line in the NFL last year...what is another RB going to do to change that?

The Jaguars should be kicked out of the league - Has anyone ever heard of Tyson Alualu? Didn't think so. Just get it over with an move to LA already.

The Eagles done good - I was listening to the venerable Vinny Cerrato on the ESPNRadio pre-draft show and he shockingly made a good point. The Eagles only had one pass rusher in a division that thrives on speed-rushers. Brandon Graham is a perfect fit there. Although when they traded up, it seemed like Thomas was the pick. Good get though, and I think Ace would agree with that.

Brian Bulaga - Funniest comment of the night by the always hilariously concussed Mormon, Steve Young, "He LOOKS like a Green Bay Packer"! HAHAHAHA!!! Why yes, he does look like an unathletic white stiff who will have a heart attack by age 30. Greatest backhanded compliment of the night.

Fuck you, Dallas - God dammit, when Jerry Jones and Bill Belichick do business, nothing good will come of it. And the fucking Cowboys make a great value pick with Dez Bryant. And yes, Bryant will score two touchdowns all season yet get drafted in the top 9 rounds of your fantasy drafts. Don't be that guy who reaches for him.

More Denver backlash - I just can't get over how stupid this team is. They are the new Raiders. When you can take a backup to The Kyle Orton Express AND Fudge-Packer Quinn, YOU MUST DO IT!!!

Jenn Brown and Erin Andrews back-to-back? HELLLLLLLLO, BONER! I was wondering where you went. By the way, the Lions did well with Suh and Jahvid Best. They are officially better than the Bears.

Whatever, I'm going to keep drinking. This is just depressing. I hate the Cowboys and I honestly feel bad for Jimmy Clausen. He deserved better than being picked behind Tebow. He's going to be a good QB. I said it before and I'll say it again: Jimmy Clausen is going to be the best QB in this draft class. The Skins have no picks today unless they dump Fat Albert. Now I'm even more depressed.

13 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

If Philly was gonna take a DE I'm glad it was Graham. I would have been fine with Thomas. Looks like we will go after Nate Allen.

JIMMAH FUCKING CLAUSEN!!! It's so hilarious that fag is on the board.

Why is Steve Young the focal point of the draft coverage? He is talking non-stop and it pisses me off.

The silverback just seems lazy. He's got more potential I guess. Maybe the skins are actually looking toward the future.

Browns have been struggling lately. They cant give up what they did for Sheldon and then take Haden.

I actually liked the Bills pick. They need more O-line help, but it's a deep draft. Beast Mode is finally done.

I said the exact same thing about Bulaga about an hour before he got drafted.

What the fuck is wrong wit Dez Bryant? He must have scared a lot of teams to drop like that. He will fit right in in Dallas.

I can understand why Denver didn't want Clausen, they just got rid of a d bag at QB they don't want another one. But trading up for Tebow might have been worse than drafting Alualu in the top ten.

I'm a big fan of this prime time draft. They need to have 20 rounds of this shit.

Anonymous said...

I don't mind the Browns pick. Haden is a four year starter in the SEC! He has to be a stud, right? He is the lock down corner that the Browns haven't had since Hanford "Big Dawg" Dixon in the 80's. Holmgren and Heckert said that Brown could easily be moved to safety.

Where did this Jen Brown chick come from? I've never seen her before. I like.

Did Tebow not thank God during his interview? Unless I missed it, I don't think he ever did.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

I'm fine with Haden as well. He was projected to be drafted by the Browns in February, and only slid because of his 40 time. He will be solid. He has to be faster than that. He's from Florida (and they're in the SEC).

Hopefully the Browns get Taylor Mays or Colt in the 2nd. I would prefer Colt over Jimmy.

Anyone else notice how pissed Kiper was all night? Especially when Tebow was drafted. His ego couldn't take it! Overall that was a shitty performance by ESPN. I can't stand how they took the suspense out of the pick.

Dut

Anonymous said...

Thoughts....

*Tom Jackson's reaction to his Broncos taking Tebow was hilarious. He thought it was the dumbest thing he'd ever seen.

*Tebow sounded really dumb in his interview. All he talked about was how hard he is going to work...and he said it in like 50 different ways.

*This Lions GM is amazing. I keep waiting for him to really fuck up something, but instead he keeps doing sweet things. Could the Lions be headed in the right direction?

*I wonder if the Clausen brothers played an angry game of boner bats when it was all over with last night?

*Jenn Brown is definitely hot, but I couldn't get over the fact that she has a major BAMFF.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Kiper should be pissed. This is his fucking weekend yet Gruden and Young kept talking and talking about nothing. They know shit about these kids yet want us to believe they are experts.

I'll believe that Haden is a shutdown corner when I see it. Although I did find it amusing that the Browns were debating between Haden and Kyle Wilson at #7. Wilson at 7??? HA!

You don't want Taylor Mays. He can't cover anyone.

GMoney said...

BAMFF???

Ace said...

If the Browns got Sheldon Brown to move him to safety then they are dumber than I thought possible.

What else was Tebow supposed to say with Schaap's douchy face staring at him and asking 30 questions?

Anonymous said...

BAMFF = BIG ASS MOTHA FUCKIN' FOREHEAD

--DREW

Anonymous said...

Mays won't have to cover anyone. That's what Haden will do. All Mays will have to do is injure people.

Dut

Anonymous said...

I agree with Dut. I would take Colt McCoy over Clausen. Also, I would love to see the browns take Taylor Mays. Regardless of the fact that the guy can't cover, he is too great of an athlete to keep off the field. I have heard some people say he could be moved to OLB with his size.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

Taylor Mays is Roy Williams and he can't even play for teh Bengals anymore. Trust me, you don't want this guy unless you plan on putting 30 pounds on him and have him be a terrible pass rusher.

Tony B. said...

Who is this Mike Mayock on NFL Network? I'd rather listen to Tim McCarver and Joe Morgan announce a game together than hear any more of this guy's verbal diarrhea.

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