Friday, April 16, 2010

THAT'S MY MOVE!!!


A few quick topics to address and a handful of playoff predictions and then I'm going to call it a week. I'm on vacation all of next week and am currently working on this sites upcoming mock draft (to be released Monday or Wednesday). Let's get this going:

>"with his penis already out of his pants" - Have you had the chance to read the summary of the Big Ben investigative report? Holy shit, it is a miracle that he was not charged here. Deadspin has the juiciest details. I am sort of offended by this because this is exactly how I won She$ over. I just walked up to her, dick already flapping in the breeze, and she was putty in my hands. It is a truly romantic move. But that's the thing...THAT'S MY MOVE! How dare he! I want a formal apology for not getting the credit that I deserve. However, I have never announced "all my bitches, take some shots" at a bar. It's hard to buy shots for people when you constantly have to worry about your exposed junk. Let's hope that we no longer have to discuss this topic as it's getting old and all of the Steelers retards begging that he be traded, you are fucking stupid and know nothing about football.

>The NCAA is RAY-CESS! - Ummm, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out. College football turns a blind eye to all of Tim Tebow's biblical eye-strips for the past few years, but now that he's gone, they ban them. Weak. So apparently you can't have writing on your strips anymore which is pretty much the Terrelle Pryor Rule. This would never have been an issue if he didn't glorify a felon and fire back with his brilliant "steal from you, steal from me" comments. And this is sad because I was optomistic that that retard would try to top the Vick strip this year. Maybe "OBAMACARE" or "BIN LADEN" or "RAE CARRUTH" or maybe even "COCAINE IS GREAT". You know, shit that midwesterners would hate. The sky truly was the limit for how stupid this kid could become and it's a damn shame that the NCAA put a stop to this. Oh, and the rule that touchdowns can be taken away for showboating is a fucking joke. Remember my post from yesterday that Grumpy didn't understand because he still listens to Perry Como? Yeah, this rule is going to be disaster. Sports are supposed to be fun but the NCAA disagrees apparently.

>NBA Playoff Predictions - Dut has always said that I shouldn't talk about pro basketball until the playoffs start. Well, the playoffs start tomorrow. I like to think that I'm less than 2 months away from a Cavs championship but I also like to think that I will win the Mega Millions so who knows. MUDawg wanted these, here they are (just first round series though):
Cavs over Bulls in 4 - LeBron does not rust. Say goodnight, Vinny Del Baio.
Celtics over Heat in 5 - This series does not interest me at all due to my large hatred of Wade, Sheed, KG, Pierce, and Sheed again.
Magic over Bobcats in 7 - I think that Larry Brown pushes this as far as he can...but they won't win.
Hawks over Bucks in 5 - I don't Fear The Deer now that Bogut is done. If he wasn't, the Bucks would pull the upset.
Lakers over Thunder in 7 - You should try to watch this series. If you can only watch one series, this should be it. Not for Durantula and Kobe though, but for Byron Mullens.
Nuggets over Jazz in 7 - This one could be pretty solid, too. Melo is the best player though. Kosta Koufos is a close second. Money Shot mascots be representin'!
Mavericks over Spurs in 6 - I hate the Spurs. Tony Parker tried to blow me the other week. True story.
Suns over Blazers in 5 - Whatever. I'm not going to watch this unless I'm drinking.

I like chalk in the first round. Dig through the archives though and you will notice that I picked the 8 seed Warriors to beat Dallas two years ago. I am wise.

>Half-assed hockey predictions - I only watch Blue Jackets games so it's obvious that I know nothing about hockey. I do know that the Sharks always suck in the playoffs and the Penguins are playing like horseshit. I'm going to pick the best team and the hottest team to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals: Capitals and Red Wings. The fucking Coyotes aren't beating the Wings. Buffalo and Chicago are my second choices though.

That's it. I need to focus on my dinner tonight for the missus and I are taking Paul Keels advice by going to hammer some Montgomery Inn ribs tonight. Dear Ribs, you are fucked. I'll be back on Monday as long as I do not develop a case of post-ribs mud butt.

12 comments:

Grumpy said...

It's 7 a.m. and I'm rockin' with Motley Crue. Perry Como? That was cruel and uncalled for.

I like guys writing shit on their eye black, especially the ones with area codes. Always good to represent the homeys.

GMoney said...

Atta boy, Grump!!! One of these days, I was hoping to see someone with a big "419" under their eyes. Those days are over.

Anonymous said...

--G$,

Enjoy the Ribs-fest-orama!!!!

I'll be in town next week...if things work out, you'll have to get me to the Thurman Cafe, so I can try it out. How close is that to Nationwide Arena??

--LWM

GMoney said...

It's not walking distance unless 4 or so miles is walking distance for you. It isn't for me. Get comfortable because you're going to wait.

Grump, made me remember the greatest reality TV show ever, TOMMY LEE GOES TO COLLEGE! They really need to bring that back.

Anonymous said...

Didn't Fred Davis put 419 on his eye black when he played for USC?

I might have to root for the LeBron this year. The only thing holdin me back is faggy Tribe fans sayin "I don't care about baseball anymore.. We have the Cavs" when they're in the basement all season.

Ben's night kind of reminds me of my nights when I go to Sugar Bar. What's the big deal?

Dut

Jeff said...

Agreed Dut,
Walking around bars with dick in hand ready to pound some puss is common practice, Big Ben is entitled to that right too!

Mr. Ace said...

Fred Davis certainly did rock the 419 on his eye black when he played for USC. Rogers High School what?

GMoney said...

Snap! I had no idea that my boy, Freddy D, rocked the 419. He is now my favorite player. The real question is, why did Dye not do this!!! I want answers!

Anonymous said...

LWM...I don't know what the size of your group is, but if it's three or less don't listen to G$. Get to Thurman's....grab a beer from the bar and then just wait to hawk some bar seats when people get up and have lunch at the bar. It's fucking easy to do.

I loved that stuff on Big Ben. He's all class.

Tommy Lee Goes To College was indeed an awesome TV show. I think it had a catchy theme song too. I was listening to porn star Jesse Jane on Stern a couple mornings ago. She told some story about how she was dating Tommy Lee a few years ago and they were at some club in Hollywood and they just started fucking in front of everyone at the bar.

The NCAA didn't change the eye black rule because of Pryor. They changed it because I sent them thousands of e-mails about how I found Tebow's bible thumping eye blacks to be insulting.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

PHILADELPHIA -- A New Jersey man is facing charges after police say he intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father in the stands during a Philadelphia Phillies game.



Clemmens

Twenty-one-year-old Matthew Clemmens, of Cherry Hill, N.J., was arraigned Friday on charges stemming from his behavior at Wednesday night's Phillies-Nationals game.

Police say Clemmens made himself vomit on an off-duty police captain and his daughter after a companion was kicked out for unruly behavior.

Easton police Capt. Michael Vangelo says he saw Clemmens put his fingers down his throat. Philadelphia police say Clemmens also punched Vangelo and vomited on an arresting officer.

Clemmens is in custody on charges including assault and harassment. Bail is $12,000. His listed phone number is disconnected.

GMoney said...

Hilarious story. You should see the mugshot of that guy. Holy shit is he repugnant.

A New Experienced Me said...

What's this world coming to when you can't openly vomit on people without getting arrested? I guess I can't use that as a conversation starter at the bar anymore...maybe I'll start going with the "dick out of the pants" move. It seems to get results.