Monday, April 26, 2010

It Took Me 29 Years To Do A Good Thing

As of yesterday, the Money's have now welcomed a new addition to the family in the form of a 37 pound beagle named "Alex". He is 9 months old and shockingly housebroken already (eventhough She$ is not). Here he is on the left and I'm sure I will post more annoying pictures of him on Facebook. It's what dog owners do, I suppose. Anyway, you may call him A-Bomb if you would like. I plan on injecting him with as many steroids as possible but I will try and keep him away from Canadian HGH smugglers.

We were going to get a little dog from these people but I put my foot down. I can't own a ten pound dog. I just can't. That's a meal to me, not a pet. So we went to the Franklin County animal shelter and picked out a rescue dog. This makes me feel good. Saving a life is a nice feeling. It makes me realize that despite all of my shitty behavior and daily hate-mongering here, I am a good person. This proves it. I am OK. Although I made a dogfighting joke at the shelter that She$ told me I was retarded for doing. So I guess I'm not that great after all. But enough back-patting, let's get some final thoughts on the draft...

*I am one of the few people who actually liked the former "Day 2" of the Draft. Chris Berman was not involved so how can't it be great? I missed every fucking pick of rounds 4-7 though as I was umpiring. The games were 27-1 and 18-0 and lasted a combined 6 hours. I love umpiring because it's one of the only places that I garner any sort of respect, but those games made me want to quit. It was awful. City league (AKA mostly black) schools are just fucking terrible and should never be allowed to play doubleheaders.

*I thought, just from seeing the classes, that the Seahawks had the best draft with the 49ers, Ravens, Eagles, and (gasp) Raiders doing well, too. Look, I know that most of you think that Jason Campbell is terrible, but I don't. And I think he's in a pretty good situation in Oakland. He has a nice running game, fast receivers, and he is following in JaMarcus Russell's shoes. Yes, I just admitted that the Raiders were better than the ZornSkins. J-Camp is going to be fine and I wish him well. He will start over Polack Bruce. Mt. Cody and the Ravens just make so much sense. With Cody, Ngata, and fistfuls of HGH, Ray Lewis might play forever. Seattle, after day 1, added Golden Tate, Leon Washington, AND LenDale White? That is outstanding.

*After that shitty first round, Mike Holmgren did alright. Look, I don't know if Colt McCoy can play in the NFL. But as the 85th pick, it's worth a shot to find out. I always wonder about a guy who has never played in the cold now playing 4-5 games per year in 40 degrees or worse. Hardesty was a nice pick, too. That brotha from Oregon apparently hits like a brick shithouse. Like I said, not a bad class but I still hated that first round pick that was unnecessary.

*Anyone else find it amusing how everyone thought that Toby Gerhart and Jordan Shipley were sleeper picks? They went two rounds too high only because they are white. That makes me laugh. I would rather have LeGarrette Blount than Gerhart just because the ceiling his higher, but Blount didn't get drafted because he likes to punch whities. Shipley can't run and is great if you are looking for a slower Joe Jurevicius which I assume you are not.

*Jimmy Clausen goes to Carolina. This is a pretty good fit for him. When the only one ahead of you on the depth chart is Matt Moore, you are going to play sooner than later. And the mix that the Panthers have is nice. A monster running game with a stud WR and a bulldozing O-Line? Remember, this team may have been a Super Bowl team if they weren't lead by the Browns starting QB for the next two seasons. He will be starting for Carolina by week it.

*Speaking of which, this QB class wasn't great and the teams agreed. Other than Bradford and Tebow, every single one of them slipped. I don't think that Dan LeFevour will be able to play in the league, but I thought that he would go before two fucking punters. Since Jay Cutler blows though, maybe he will see the field soon. Next year could be a solid class with Mallet, Locker, and (ugh) Terrelle Pryor.

*I should probably talk about the Skins before I go. Yes, I was wearing my Offseason Champs t-shirt on Friday night eventhough they did nothing. Shanny was fortunate to get a 4th rounder for Campbell since everyone knew that we were getting rid of him. They had three big needs to address: OL, OLB, and FS. They drafted three offensive lineman and some dude from LSU at OLB which has been deemed a solid pick and a potential starter right away. They signed Anderson Russell out of anOSU after the draft and he could play right away if he wants to. What do you guys think? Can Russell play in the NFL? But really, the Redskins should get at least a B+ for their draft because you have to include Don Burgundy as our second round pick. I'll say that they did alright and I will absolutely jerk off on Grumpy's face if we sign Alan Faneca who was cut for no good reason at all by the Jets.

What did you guys think of the draft? Are everyone's hopes up? Mine are. I yelled Super Bowl after our first round AND fourth round picks! I had never done that before. The Steelers should probably taper theirs though since their locker room is a mess and they drafted two Buckeyes. That's not good for business.


Grumpy said...

Steelers will go 3-1 with Ben out and then dominate. Faneca was let go because he's older than me.

You did a great thing adopting Alex. You guys should be proud of yourselves and he's a great looking dog.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy..were you massaging G$'s balls with your other hand when you were dishing out that compliment?

Still very excited about the Lions draft.

The Bills had by far the worst draft. Their list of draftees is like a who's who of college football teams that you had no idea existed...they finally drafted a QB named Levi Brown from Troy in the 6th round..and then they picked the first Chinese player ever and he's some fat ass who definitely won't be able to see blitzes due to those slit eyes.


GMoney said...

The Bills drafted a chinaman? Hilarious.

Upstate Underdog said...

G$, nice job on the dog. Stock up on peanut butter.

The Bills draft went straight to hell after Round 1. I best part of the Bills drafting Wang from VaTech is the fact that his name is Wang.

Anonymous said...

I hope you're not putting too much stock in Anderson Russell! He got burnt every game and he dropped about 10 easy INTs in his career. I believe it was Russell who got burnt against Navy on that 90 yard TD. Good luck.

I hope you have a fenced yard. I had a few beagles growing up and they would run wild. Did you buy a dog to take care of that snake hole in your backyard? One of my old beagles would sit at a groundhog hole for hours waiting on one to come out. I think it killed about 8 of them.

I know nothing about the safety that the Browns took too early in the 2nd round. Kiper said it was 2 rounds too early. Stealing Colt saved this draft for the Browns.

TP isn't going pro next year. If he does, it means OSU won the national title.


GMoney said...

You don't see Pryor going pro, huh? Maybe you're right and he's coming back for his degree!

Tony B. said...

I think Andrew Luck will be a high draft pick next year as well (I guess depending on how many teams need QBs.)

The Bears should not have taken Dan LeFevour. The reason they had no first round pick was due to the Jay Cutler trade, no need to waste another pick on a QB.

I read this on some site (I'm paraphrasing): "Even if Gaines Adams hadn't tragically died, the Bears still wasted their 2nd round pick on him." Probably true, but damn that's rough.

Jacob said...

Do the Lions get no love?

I am making a post to keep the gmoney blog alive. I hear he needs to get his cheese waxed in order to keep this funny, so in light of that, I will be leaving comments from here on out!


MuDawgfan said...

Providing some NFC South perspective - I'm very impressed with what Tampa Bay did to improve itself. They had a terrible defense last year and have added considerable talent and girth (if picks on and two work out).

They are likely a year away from competing for the playoffs - but I like Raheem Morris. He seems like he wants to rebuild the once proud defense and unlike Tony Dungy, he's actually black!

GMoney said...

The Lions did OK but they didn't need to move up to take Best.

McCoy and Brian Price are going to be awesome together for Tampa.

I almost forgot that I actually talked to a midget this weekend. It was amazing.

Drew said...

I suggest you share the midget conversation in a post and then we can all share our own midget stories in the comments. That could be a great day.


Anonymous said...

Drew- I doubt many of us have any midget stories.. But I'm interested! I got a feelin Mr Ace has a few stories, but its probably strictly midget porn!


GMoney said...

Hmmmmmm, I might be able to make midget day happen. The story isn't anything great, but I might be able to embellish some facts though.

Tony B. said...

I have a midget story... it's awesome, too.

Drew said...

I have an awesome midget story for midget day.


Anonymous said...

They don't get along??

Brian Griffin--"Like an old guy and a midget"

Scene of old man, and a midget

Midget: "Sir, will you please stop staring at me"

Old Man: "Wheres the rest of ya?"


Awesome dog G$...glad I didn't make it over to those dogshit games you had this weekend...that would have been to much to take.


Mr. Ace said...

Beagles are for pussies, just sayin.

Midget porn is one porn that I just don't get. I would rather stick my dick in G$'s snake hole.

I'm busting out a triple post tomorrow. So stay tuned all day long.