Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Full Day with Mr. ACE: Part 2- Crowning a Champ

(Why is Al Davis taking pictures with the Spurs?)

The NBA playoffs are still going on, despite what Roger Goodell might have you believe. The playoffs have actually been pretty entertaining thus far. In the West, the only conference that actually plays competitive basketball, every series is either tied or being led by the lower seed. That's what the playoffs are all about. You know what else the NBA playoffs are all about? The San Antonio Spurs fucking dominating. This post is dedicated entirely to why the Spurs will win the title this year. If you have already come to that conclusion, skip to the comments and join the celebration. If you still believe in any other team, read my five reasons why the Spurs will win and don't be embarrassed, retardation happens.

1. Gregg Popovich. It was just over a week ago when all the talking heads were saying Pop made a mistake by calling his team "dogs" after their game one performance. Gregg Popovich laughs at the notion that somebody could possibly question his brilliance. Pop is the new Phil Jackson. While Phil is pressing all the wrong buttons and setting the Lakers up for the biggest first round flop ever, Pop has turned his squad into a well oiled machine with all parts working cohesively.

2. Tim Duncan. I would like to take the time to wish my dear friend, Tim Duncan, I happy belated birthday. He turned 34 on Sunday. And while he only had four points in Game 4, he had over 20 points in each of the first three games. The Mavs have been rotating Dampier and Haywood on Duncan all series, but he cannot be stopped. Duncan may not be able to bring his A game every night anymore, but he is still the best big man in the Association. Suck it, Dwight.

3. Healthy bodies. It has been a long time since the Spurs rolled into the playoffs well rested and not nursing injuries. Obviously, Ginobili getting his nose busted could be a deal breaker for the Spurs, but as the playoffs go on he will only get more comfortable with it. Antonio McDyess has come back from the dead, hitting jumpers like an assassin. Even Richard Jefferson is holding his own deep into the season. Skip Bayless actually made some sense yesterday when he said that Tony Parker breaking his hand was the best thing that happened to the Spurs this year. He was right. Parker looks like he is back in 2007. Remember that Cavs fans? Bust out the brooms, bitch.

4. George Hill. He just took over Game 4. Think about this, George Hill scored almost 33% of the Spurs points in Game 4...and we won. Even when the Big Three don't have it going, the Spurs have enough players to win. I expect George Hill to have one of these types of games in every series because he can. I've seen his penis.

5. DeJuan Blair. Best draft pick ever? Best draft pick ever. So what if the guy has no ACL's. Who needs 'em. When I have a son I'm getting his removed at birth. The moment he steps on the floor he changes the game. He averages 20 rebounds per minute, 25 of which are offensive. Teams are going to hate him for a long time. I'm glad he's a member of my team.

The Lakers are done, folks. They may get out of round one, but the rest of the teams in the west are licking their chops. The Suns aren't a threat to do anything. I am a little afraid of the Utah Jazz, always have been. However, the loss of Okur will really hurt them when they play a team with an actual big man. And in the East...they don't really play basketball until the Finals.

After tonight the Spurs will be on their way to the second round and an eventual championship. And if there is a god, Mark Cuban be violated by a pack of armadillos and Eduardo Najera. I'll be back at noon to give my final thoughts on the rapist.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

My attention span isn't long enough for draft grades a few days too late and NBA talk. Can we get an interview with Big Ben or G$'s new dog or something?

Dut

GMoney said...

Dut brings it strong!

Pop is no MIKE BROWN! Yeah, beating a Mavs team that shits on themselves EVERY year does not make you a contender.

DeJuan Blair was not a better pick than Christian Eyenga.

Mr. Ace said...

HE DOESN'T HAVE ACL'S!!!

Anonymous said...

Ace you are a fucking idiot. Right after you admit to Duncan only having 4 points the other night, you say he cannot be stopped? Good one buddy.

Seal