Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Full Day with Mr. ACE: Part 1- NFL Draft

(ADULT DIAPERS!)

Roger Goodell is a fucking GOD! Everything this guy says and does is brilliant. The prime time draft was fucking TITS, and America agrees. The first round ratings were up 30% from last years draft. Why did it take so long to figure this out? I would watch the first round of the NFL draft over any other sporting event. It could be on at the same time as the final round of the Masters and Tiger is slaying strange in the gallery after every putt, but I would still turn to ESPN to find out who the Houston Texans took with the 18th pick. I wish the draft went on for weeks and they still had 20 rounds...I would live blog the shit out of that.

But in every draft there are winners and losers(not really, these kids haven't played a snap) and I will tell you who they were.
Winners:
Seattle Seahawks. If any team can land Okung, Earl Thomas, and Golden Tate then they had one hell of a draft. Then he got Anthony McCoy as a late round steal, who slipped because he tested positive for the reefer at the combine. The best news of all, they acquired Lendale White and Leon Washington...meaning Julius Jones is no more.

Oakland Raiders. Al Davis must have rolled out on the right side of his crypt before the NFL draft. Rolando McClain was a reach at that spot, but he is a solid, safe pick. I think Lamarr Houston can be just as good as Gerald McCoy in the pros. Thee steal of the draft was Bruce Campbell. I wanted the Eagles to get this guy so bad. He's a fucking monster and if Vernon Gholston wasn't a piece of shit Campbell would have went in the first round. And Al Davis did what he does best, draft the fastest player in the draft, Jacoby Ford. I can't wait for Gradkowski to beat out all 13 quarterbacks the Raiders have.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I agree with G$, Gerald McCoy and Brian Price are going to grow into a force on the D-line. But I really like the WR pick-ups. Between Arrelious Benn and Mike Williams(not THAT Mike Williams Lions fans), I think they got two first round talent guys. If Benn would have played anywhere but Illinois he would have been a top ten pick. Mike Williams has some character issues, but he's certainly worth a fourth round pick. Josh Freeman has some weapons.

Losers:
There is only one loser. Jacksonville Jaguars. With there first three picks, they got three guys that they could have got in the third round. They could have drafted Tim Tebow with every pick and still had a better draft than they did. I don't even know if L.A. would take this team.

And now we get to my Eagles. In almost every single draft recap I have seen, the Eagles have been graded near the top. I am not a senseless homer. I love that we traded up to get Brandon Graham, there isn't a doubt in my mind he was the best pass rusher in the draft. The Nate Allen pick was excellent also, I think he has a similar, if not equal, skill set to Earl Thomas.

After the first two rounds I have no idea what the fuck Andy Reid was thinking. I think Reid was trying to beat the record for acquiring defensive ends in the offseason. Daniel Te'o-Nesheim might be the worst pick of the draft. We had no reason to take him there, he would have been available 50 picks later. Ricky Sapp is another undersized DE who will get blown up if ran at. Keenan Clayton is another undersized LB who will get blown up if ran at. For some reason we took another TE, which either means Cornelius Ingram's knee is totally fucked or the Eagles plan on running goal-line hurry up as the base offense PS3 NCAA 2010 style. Of the Eagles final 11 picks, I liked 3 picks. I think Trevard Lindley was a great pick, Jamar Chaney, pick #220, will get some playing time this year, and I half liked the Riley Cooper and Jeff Owens picks. Fuck Kurt Coleman. If we wanted another safety, why wouldn't we take Myron Rolle at #200 instead of wasting a pick on this bum. We could have at least taken my boy, Barry Church.

The NFL Draft is awesome, but you already knew that. I will be back at 10:00am EST to crown a champion.

4 comments:

GMoney said...

Coleman will be alright. He can play. That may have been Philly's best pick.

Biggest loser - the people who made that Hawaiian print tent that Andy Reid was wearing on Friday night

The Skins drafted WVU OT Selvish Capers in the 7th round and he had a 2nd/3rd grade on him. He will probably start at RT right away. Solid pick there and great name.

Mr. Ace said...

He's from WVU, which means he was recruited by DickRod, he's got to have something wrong with him. Am I right Fuckeyes?

I don't want Coleman. You were all jolly because you got Anderson Russell, like I want your opinion.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Ace what does it say about your college team that you have what two or three players picked ahead of the first Buckeye (one being a punter) and you have not played them in a competitive game since 2006.

How about Donavan Warren not getting drafted?

Hoffman

Mr. Ace said...

I would define last year as competitive first of all. Secondly, I have no idea what the fuck you mean by that comment...