I'm going to be honest, men. Dog ownership is not as easy as I was hoping. The two of us and the dog are testing each other's limits and it's not all foot-licks and eating whatever I drop on the floor. No, it's chewing on everything not nailed down, acting like he has to pee when he just wants to go out, not calming down eventhough it's midnight, and my favorite, waking me up at 5:30 every morning. That last one absolutely must stop. I am dying over here. I need my sleep. Like I said, I am aware that we are all in the process of getting settled, but goddammit I need some shut-eye! Oh by the way, you are getting a mail-in post today because of this. Who am I kidding...most of the time these are even better than when I put some thought into it.
Earlier this week, Grumpy spent a day at his site discussing the awesomeness of KFC's Double Down. I was intrigued and finally broke down and got one. I wouldn't say that it was great but it is definitely a must-try. The commercial makes the chicken look really crispy but in reality it is not. And would it kill them to put about 6 more strips of bacon on it? If I am going to shorten my life with this sandwich, at least put some more pig in it. But this concoction may be even more delectable...
Meet "The Sky-Rosa" - This is without question the best thing that has ever been seen at Great American Ballpark in Cincy. What is it? Why it's a Skyline Cheese Coney wrapped in a slice of La Rosa's pizza. You have to make it yourself, but how great is that! Skyline fucking rules and while I'm not like every other SW Ohio resident who raves about La Rosa's (it's alright I guess), this looks heart-stoppingly great. This "sandwich" has to be at least 5000 calories. Well played, Reds fans, well played. Locally, do you know what would fucking own? If the Blue Jackets had a stand where you could get a Thurman Burger stuffed with Schmitt's Bahama Mama sausage. You would probably have to sign a waiver to eat that bitch though.
Dez Bryant's mother was a whore? - Everyone seems to be all up in arms over the Dolphins GM asking Bryant if his mother traded her vagina for money. My response is: who cares? That is an easy question. Yes or no. If she wasn't a prostitute, you tell them that and move on. If someone was willing to give me 8 figures, they can ask whatever the fuck they wanted. Oh, you want to know how many times I've milked myself? How much time do you got because this could take awhile?
68 is much better than 96 - I can live with 68 teams in the NCAA tourney. That is acceptable. 4 play-in games does not ruin things for me. But I wonder who plays in those games? Is it the conference champs from the smaller leagues or the last 8 teams that qualified? Personally, it should be the last 8 teams fighting to be the 12 seed in the first round. Regardless of what you think about the MEAC champ, they EARNED their way there and deserve to get slaughtered by a one seed. Make the bubble teams duke it out.
No one likes the Indians - I don't know what to make of this revelation but apparently the Indians are the least liked team in baseball. This is confusing. Sure, I don't like them but I didn't think that everyone else on the planet agreed with me as well. The Red Sox are #2 (should be #1), the Reds #3 (not after the Sky-Rosa takes off), and the Astros and Yankees are 4 and 5. I just don't get it but I like it. The Indians blow. Oh wait, now I know the reason why everyone loathes the Indians...TOM HAMILTON!!!
Bring on the fucking Celtics - I'm ready. I'm not worried about LeBron's elbow. The only thing that concerns me is how much we embarrass them. A sweep would be welcomed. This is going to be a fun-ass series. Too bad I'm going to miss game 1...
Why? Well, longtime reader and friend of Dennis Haskins, Rex, is getting married tomorrow. Many of the cast of characters that make up the commentariat here will be in attendance. Should be a blast. Congrats, Mikey, I'm going to get shitfaced on Roger's dime.