Friday, April 02, 2010

American League Predictions w/ Tim McCarver

Yesterday, I bored you all by talking about the National League. That ends now. It's time to talk about the big boys and the AL Central. Hell, I've even enlisted the help of my longtime nemesis, Tim McCarver! This is surely going to be an amazing day. But first, a mini-rant. The Yankees and Red Sox open the season for everyone on Sunday night. Fine, it's how it should be. Put the two most important teams in baseball on primetime to start the year. I get that. But why the fuck are the World goddamn Champions opening their season on the fucking road? At their arch rivals? Again, AS DEFENDING CHAMPS! This makes no sense to me. Every other sport lets the previous year's winner open the following season at home on national TV. Not baseball. Instead of making the Red Sox watch us get our rings and raise yet another banner, we open the year in Asshole City. Bullshit. Another feather in Bud Selig's big stupid cap. Hey, speaking of assholes, Timmy Mac says it's time to get the preview started! Let's do this.

AL East:
1. Yankees
My thoughts - The starting pitching is better. The bullpen is the same. They got younger and faster. They are better defensively. What's not to like other than Nick Johnson? I suppose I could see Burnett getting hurt at some point but the Yankees have depth out the ass. As long as CC is healthy, we'll be just fine.
Tim's logic - Derek Jeter's impact can only be measured by his intangibles which means that he does everything that does not show up in the box score. (This is a McCarverism because intangibles, by definition, can not be measured...this is the sort of thing that he always says)
2. Rays
My thoughts - I nailed it last year by saying that they had no chance to repeat their 2008 season. Well, I think that this team makes a comeback in 2010. Always look out for contract year guys and Crawford and Carlos Pena are both looking for their millions this offseason. If they get ANY bullpen at all, pencil them in for 92-93 wins.
Tim's logic - The Tampa Bay Rays style of play reminds me of the broadway production of Chicago...simply beautiful.
3. Red Sox
My thoughts - I was talking to a Red Sox fan last weekend and asked him what he thought about the upcoming season for them. He made a great point. "When has a team won the AL East focusing on defense and pitching while completely ignoring the offense"? GREAT fucking question. It never happens. Going to be a lot of low scoring games for the Sox this year. Mike Cameron blows.
Tim's logic - Big Papi reminds me of a washed-up boxer in that they both have slow hands and long, loopy deliveries.
4. Orioles
My thoughts - If this team was in any other division, I may have been tempted to pick them for the playoffs. They are close. They are really close. That lineup is surprisingly awesome. They are all young. The pitching staff is probably one more year away though. I really like this team and I evidence this point by owning an average of 3 O's per my fantasy teams. I think that they finish within a game or three of .500.
Tim's logic - I have always compared Camden Yards to the Roman Coliseum but instead of lions vs. Christians, we have birds vs. Yankees.
5. Blue Jays
My thoughts - This team is terrible. They offer nothing at all. Guaranteed 100 losses.
Tim's logic - The biggest difference between Toronto and the rest of the AL East is that their home games are played in a different country altogether.

AL Central:
1. Tigers
My thoughts - I have my reasons. Now I don't think that this is a 90 win team, but I think they will be just fine. Miguel Cabrera stopped drinking (yay?). Bonderman and Dontrelle are pitching for new contracts. They upgraded at closer (sort of). It took them long enough, but adding a winner like Johnny Damon will pay off.
Tim's logic - The interesting thing about Justin Verlander's curveball is that it initially looks like a strike to the hitter.
2. Twins
My thoughts - By far the most talent in the division...BUT, the loss of Joe Nathan is going to cost them at least 5 games this year. And don't discount how much of an advantage the Metrodome was for them. I'm just not feeling it for Minny this season. Denard Span hit his own mother in the stands with a foul ball the other day...that's incredible! What are the odds of that happening again.
Tim's logic - What makes Joe Mauer such a great hitter is that he is excellent at making contact.
3. White Sox
My thoughts - This lineup is absolutely putrid. They will be lucky to average over 3 runs per game this year. I like the pitching staff but I don't have much faith in the bullpen. Bobby Jenks apparently lost a ton of weight but I have a feeling that he is better as a wide load.
Tim's logic - What makes Ozzie Guillen such a great manager is that he knows how to properly manage game situations.
4. Indians
My thoughts - I think that they will be a little better than I initially thought. Carmona looks like he's ready to destroy everyone this season. Sizemore is still gay but a healthy gay and Choo is still dodging the Korean draft. They have no chance to finish over .500, but an 85 loss season would be considered a good year with this mess of a roster.
Tim's logic - Jake Westbrook's sinker is so effective because he keeps it down in the strike zone which leads to more ground balls.
5. Royals
My thoughts - I'm tired of picking these losers to be a surprise team. The only surprise for me would be Zack Grienke not trying to kill himself after watching Kyle Farnsworth give up a run in every game he pitches in.
Tim's logic - Billy Butler is what I like to call a "dish washer" in that he has excellent plate discipline.

AL West:
1. Angels
My thoughts - Sure, they lost some names but they will be just fine. They still have the best manager in the division. I don't know, everyone seems to be crowning the Mariners as the champs, but I don't know if I see it.
Tim's logic - What makes Brian Fuentes so unique and difficult to hit is that he throws like a 4 year old girl (sorry, I took that one).
2. Rangers
My thoughts - No team with a cokehead manager is going to the playoffs. Coked up players? Sure, but not managers. Texas got a lot of miles from their shitty staff last year but that won't happen again. Signing Ryan Garko isn't going to help.
Tim's logic - Neftali Perez's fastball is incredibly difficult to hit due to the velocity in which he throws it.
3. Mariners
My thoughts - Enough with considering these guys to be playoff contenders. Stiff Lee is already hurt. Their other starters (besides Felix) are terrible. They have no one who will hit 20 home runs this year. Would you really bet on a loser like David Aardsma pitching like that again.
Tim's logic - What makes Ichiro such a great base stealer is his speed.
4. A's
My thoughts - Too much typing these last two days. It's not like anyone is still paying attention anyway. Megan Fox pooping! Are you still there? Hello?
Tim's logic - The knock on Ben Sheets is that he is injury prone which means that his body prevents him from making 30 starts per year.

AL MVP - A-Rod
AL Cy Young - Jake Peavy
Manager - whoever the guy is that manages Baltimore
AL ROY - Brian Matusz (he pitches for the Orioles)

Playoffs: Yankees over Tigers. Rays over Angels. Yankees over Rays. Yankees over Braves. For the 29th year in a row, I predict the Yankees to win the World Series. Deal with it. There is no other team that is better. Now enjoy the 5 hour game that the Yankees and Red Sox play on Sunday night. We'll be back on Monday morning with donkey porn.


Mr. Ace said...

The fucking Tigers? Is this another one of those jinx jobs you pulled on OU? I could have accepted the Twins, but not the Tigers.

I actually don't think the White Sox lineup is that terrible. It really all depends on the health of our outfield. If Rios can pull his head out of his ass and get his BA back up, if Carlos Quentin can actually play the majority of the season, and Juan Pierre is getting on base, I think we can score some runs. Andrew Jones has actually looked good. He will probably K 200 times, but should be a solid cleanup. The Cuban Missile and Beckham are the best young 2nd base/SS tandem in the League. And I love me some AJ Pierzynski and Paulie.

We've got one of the best rotations and possibly THEE best bullpen. Healthy outfield=championship!!!

GMoney said...

Alexei Ramirez is terrible. He has had enough time to show what he has and he has nothing.

I just have a hunch the Marlboro Man is going to win the Central this year.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, listing Dontrelle Willis as a reason the Tigers will win the division, that's not a recipe for diasaster.

I really like the Rays this year. Bruce Drennan said to watch out for them, so that's all I needed to hear.

Don't laugh all at once, but the Indians are going to surprise people this year. The lineup will be solid and they will score some runs. Not having to listen to Eric Wedge's voice has to add 10 wins right there. Huge questions in the starting rotation, but if Fausto and Jake can be at least respectable, look out. Peter Gammons said so.


GMoney said...

Exactly. The Indians will "surprise" people by not losing 90 games. Your season is already over.

I'm under the impression that Dontrelle is in a contract year. Is that not true? I love contract year guys.

Anonymous said...

Jhonny Peralta is in a contract year, too. Does that mean he will all of the sudden not suck? I don't think so.


MuDawgfan said...

Yankees over Braves again? What a fitting way to end Bobby's career - another goddamn loss to the team that brought him up as a player.

Screw Jim Leyritz

Anonymous said...

Nice picks, G$. I like the whitesox and indian fans trying to defend their teams with homer logic:

Ace:"I don't think the sox lineup is THAT terrible".... So you agree that its just terrible? You then say Andruw Jones has looked good, then say hell have 200 Ks. Idiot.

Damman: you're reachin. Were we watching the same indians team last year? What have they done to get better besides fire Eric Wedge? I guess I would be surprised if they didn't lose 100 games, so maybe you're right.

Willis will last 3 games and get cut. Bonderman will probably not even last that long. Who knows who they'll replace them with. Verlander, porcello, and Sherzer need to carry the team. Valverde predicts 74 saves. Championship bitches!


Mr. Ace said...

Dut, you say two pitchers in your rotation are going to get cut within the first month of the season and then declare them champions? Idiot.

Andruw Jones is a K machine, or at least he has been for the last few years. We can take the K's as long as he has got his long ball back, which it appears he does.

I hate contract year players.

GMoney said...

Peralta looks to stupid to know he is in a contract year. Adrian Beltre hit 400 homers (on steroids) in a contract year. I'm just saying, players play better when money is on the line.

Anonymous said... dumb fuck. You realize that we are talking about the AL Central right? Dut's right...the Tigers could cut both Bondermania and D-Train three games in and still win the division with a top heavy rotation. They went to the extra game with the Twins last year on a three man rotation.

Austin Jackson will win AL ROY.


Tony B. said...

I get what you're saying about the Yankees not opening at home, but really who the hell cares? It's not like they don't have 58 games against the Red Sox every year. I'm sure they're used to playing in Boston by now.

Mr. Ace said...

How about the Eagles just raping the Browns in a trade?!?! Just when I thought Holmgren really knew what he was doing.

Daniel said...

Jason Heyward + Tommy Hanson = Championship!

You all better get your Tomahawks ready!

GMoney said...

Ace, how do you rape someone by taking a 4th and 5th rounder from them? Most of the rapings I've seen involve only blood, tears, and the law.

Tony, if hell ever freezes over and the Cubs win a title, would you be happy if they opened the following year in St. Louis?

SSReporters said...

Ace are you kidding me?

Sheldon and Gocong suck but the return is two mid-to-late round draft picks and a back-up on the Browns? At least Sheldon was a starter and Gocong....sucked but I kinda think the Browns won this trade.

Doesn't matter, Holmgren thinks Jake Delhomme and Seneca "Mighty Midget" Wallace can lead this team so they're going 3-13 anyway.

Tony B. said...

You honestly think I would give a fuck if the Cubs opened in St. Louis after a World Series Championship? The Cubs would have won a Championship! Who cares about the first game of next year?

Mr. Ace said...

SS, Sheldon wanted paid and was making waves in the locker room. The Eagles weren't going to pay hiim and we have some young DB's that are ready to play. He has slowed down the last couple years but is still a good corner. Gocong is a fucking bum. The Eagles LB's were rotten and he still couldn't start.

Supposedly Hall has some good pass rush skills and we are looking to someone to compliment Cole in passing situations. We also just got rid of Clemons for Darryl Tapp so we needed some depth. I am happy with a 4th and 5th for Brown and basically a swap of LB's that I think the eagles got the better end of.

More importantly...let's start up the Nnamdi Asomugha to Philly for McNabb rumor...again.

Tony B. said...

Dustin Pedroia's brother is a convicted sex offender and lives in the next town from where I work? Yikes.

SSReporters said...

Ace now THAT was a rape of a trade. Tapp had a second round tender and that idiot Carroll sold him for a 4th and Clemons.

Carroll shouldn't be able to walk after that one.