Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sideburns And Coke


You used to know that it was baseball season when you could hear the crack of the bat and smell the grass (or whatever that old dumb saying is). Apparently, in 2010, you know it's coming when the cash money is flowing and the decision maker for a team is doing lines off the toilet seat in the clubhouse. Surrounding all the college hoops hooplah these past few weeks, there are a couple of baseball stories that I want to spend some time on today.

1. Joe Mauer just got paid
-Maybe now he will stop looking like a virgin. This made a lot of sense for the Twins. They have sold off so many parts over the past decade that they couldn't let Sideburns Joey leave. I get that. One thing that needs to be forgotten now is the notion that the Twins are still a small market team. When you give 184 million to one player and have a 2010 payroll in the top ten, you are no longer a member of the broke-ass club. Like it or not, you've joined the big boys. But that is where I could see a problem.

The Twins are opening a new stadium this year and that's great (eventhough it looks like Cleveland's park), but where is the money going to keep coming from? Now that you are paying one of your own "A-Rod money", you sort of have to keep the payroll in the same range that it is now. There really is no going back. And that's what makes it tricky. Minnesota can't miss on free agents anymore. They can't have prospects not pan out. They can't buy their way out of bad contracts like the Yanks and Sux can/do. These are the same problems that did in the Indians only a few short years ago. Hopefully, Mauer fairs better after his pay day than Steroids Hafner did.

There are a few more concerns I have regarding 9021-Joe resigning for that much money. Catchers tend to not have the longest shelf lives in MLB. It's grueling back there. 184 million dollars is a lot to wager on a pair of knees holding up for 8 years. Or maybe they plan on moving him to first in the near future? Nope, that's not happening anytime soon. So basically they are calling their shot here. I respect the balls, but that is one huge ass risk. And I'm cool with Mauer giving the Twins a hometown discount and staying home, BUT, they are never going to win a World Series. It's just not going to happen. There are three teams better than they are in both the AL East and West and teams in those two divisions tend to load up on good players with very little financial restraints. I wonder if he will live to regret signing this deal and throwing away his prime on a team that will never get him a ring. Do you think that he thought about that? I don't want to hear about me being jealous because he's not going to be a Yankee now. I'm not envious at all. We were never going to be involved for his services with Jesus "the next Piazza" Montero waiting in AAA.

In conclusion, Mauer and the Twins look great now, but I think that they could both grow to regret it.

2. Ron Washington is a fucking dipshit.
-While we were all at home watching basketball last week, it was announced that Texas Rangers manager, Tyrone Biggums, tested positive for cocaine last year. I guess that his $450,000 Crack Party was not his best idea. He also admitted to taking amphetamines during his playing career. The Rangers are going to do nothing about this. MLB will probably do nothing about this either.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Washington should have been fired on the spot. There is no excuse for this. And I don't buy the "it was the first time that I've done it and it was a mistake" excuse. That's bullshit. No 47 year old man just decides one day, "I'm gonna start snorting coke! Someone tell that Cuban guy in the other room to cut me up a line while I roll this 5 dollar bill up into some sort of snorting mechanism." People don't do this. Washington has done it before...guaranteed. He has a history of substance abuse anyway. Why should he be believed now? But maybe I'm just having trouble thinking like a cokehead. Let's break it down:
-You work hard and build your name managing in the minor leagues
-You get your big break and are named the manager of a major league baseball team
-You represent the entire organization with everything that you do
-One of your best players has a history with addiction so being supportive is a must
-You are managing a team on the verge of blossoming into a power
-After 46 years, NOW you decide that cocaine use is a good decision

Do you see what I mean? No one starts taking heavy drugs in their late 40's after getting the job that they have always wanted. This is absurd. This fucker should not have a job. Much like Rick Pitino, I have no clue why anyone would respect this guy ever again. If the Rangers won't fire him, he should step down.

Whew, I didn't think I had all those words in me today. And I hate sitting up here on my high horse. Someone help me down and make me some pizza rolls. He's just a common man...

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mauer and the Twins will have about a five year window to win it all. They are very similar to the Indians in '94 when they moved into the Jake. And they will have that window to contend before the new stadium revenue dries up and the excitment from having a new stadium goes away and they will return to their place of being a small spending team. That's just the way it in MLB. It's impossible for small market teams to sustain success for much longer than that.

-Damman

Ace said...

I'm with Damman. I think the Twins will make a serious run in the next several years. Year in and year out they have the best front office in the majors, now they will actually have some money to play with and won't have to dump all their prospects when they move up to the majors.

How the hell is Ozzie Guillen and/or his son not mentioned?

GMoney said...

The Twins are contenders for the Central crown. They are not contenders for the pennant.

I must have missed it but what did Ozzie do anyway?

Anonymous said...

This is extremely unrelated, but the best story I've seen in a while.

--Drew

Tebow's pre-Wonderlic prayer request falls flat
Posted by Mike Florio on March 23, 2010 7:20 PM ET

As we've mentioned once or twice, quarterback Tim Tebow's habit of openly expressing his religious beliefs could potentially rub folks the wrong way, especially in a locker room of grown men who choose to keep their beliefs to themselves, who don't share his beliefs at all, and/or who only want to hear "God bless" after they have sneezed.

We're told that Tebow already has gotten a taste of the resistance he might face at the next level.

At the Scouting Combine, the Wonderlic exam is administered to players in groups. The 12-minute test is preceded by some brief instructions and comments from the person administering the test.

Per a league source, after the person administering the test to Tebow's group had finished, Tebow made a request that the players bow their heads in prayer before taking the 50-question exam.

Said one of the other players in response: "Shut the f--k up." Others players in the room then laughed.

We're not passing judgment on this one; we're just passing along what we've heard. And it illustrates the type of challenges that could be faced by the team that drafts Tebow.

That said, some teams might embrace those challenges. The final decision will depend largely on the composition of the team, and the personalities of the coach, the G.M., and the owner.

GMoney said...

I doubt that that happened, Drew. This sounds like a classic case of not saying what you were thinking. It's like when my wife asks me to put the dishes away and I'm thinking "not until you make me some ribs" but I do it anyway without saying a word.

Tony B. said...

Ozzie had to fire his own son because his son talked shit about Jerry Reinsdorf on Twitter. Imagine that, Ozzie's son is a loudmouth.

You're right on about Ron Washington. He also admitted to smoking weed when he was a player. Nothing like admitting to extra stuff while you're at it.

How the hell is the outdoor stadium in Minnesota going to work? Good luck if they ever make the Series. Does it have a retractable roof?

Anonymous said...

--No retractable roof in Minnesota....

--Good luck to the pitching staff that had the "luxury" of pitching home games in April indoors.

--The Twins had the best home field advantage in baseball, so it will be interesting to see how their home record looks this year.

--I agree with Damman, that thier window of opportunity is similar to the '94 Tribe..

--LWM

Anonymous said...

I agree with LWM. The twins will struggle without the dome. They were a completely different team away from that dome. I don't know the stats off the top of my head, but their winning percentage for home and away games has to have the biggest gap than any other team. Tigers= AL Central champs!

Dut

GMoney said...

Easy, Dut, the predictions post is coming next week. Hint, I agree with you...