Monday, March 08, 2010

Rapey McRaperson

(Tiger couldn't hook him up with some strange?)

I've always had a certain disdain for Big Ben that I could never really put my finger on. It could be because that ass hole walked into The Buck back in 1999 and stole a victory over my high school football team with some last second heroics. It could be because after he won his first Super Bowl everybody was blowing him like he was Joe Montana. It could be because he just looks like a giant douche. But now, I have figured it out. I was blessed with a gift, a sixth sense if you will, the ability to sense the presence of a rapist. My rapist-dar is unquestionable.

What the fuck is this guy thinking? You're a goddamn millionaire, buy a fucking hooker or seven or find a Denny's waitress like Tiger. Why are you shoving your dick in questionable snatch? Look, I don't know if he actually raped these girls(Yes I do), but why would he even put himself in these situations? Why are you fucking an ugly hotel service lady? Why are you hanging out at a bunch of college bars in a place referred to as Millyvegas? Why are you fucking a 20 year old girl in the bathroom of a bar in Millyvegas?

Listen Ben, you're a fucking millionaire. You have won two Super Bowl rings. You should not be in the same room with these people. I know you are ugly as shit so using your celebrity on college chicks lacking self-confidence is one of the few ways for you to get laid, but come on. I have seen backup long snappers at Toledo bagging more quality snatch off their "status" than you are pulling, and they don't carry the stigma of a rapist. If you're just looking for a quick nut, go to Vegas and bang a stripper. They won't accuse you of rape, you won't have to fuck them on the shitter, and the world wouldn't think you're a rapist. Rapist.

Have fun breaking the bank to pay off these skanks once the authorities find your baby batter in some Millyvegas vagina.

10 comments:

Grumpy said...

You're the fucktard. No charges filed and sexual assault is not necessarily rape. Let it play out. Oh, and the college kid described him to the police as "6'5" and 241 lbs". How did she come up with his exact program stats?

Anonymous said...

He definitely enjoys sexually assaulting women. The worst part is that the chick isn't even cute....she's nasty. G$ is probably upset that Roethilsberger hasn't tried to rape him yet.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Hey Grumpy, dont be a fucking idiot. As g$ said, why would he even be putting himself in these situations? A 28 year old millionaire with 2 super bowl rings hanging out in a college town with ugly college skanks? Get a life asshole. Or at least some class. I know how hard that is though playing in Pittsburgh and being around that white-trash fan base all the time.

Seal

GMoney said...

The thing that I don't get is why he owns a house in Bumfuck, GA when he isn't from there and works in PA.

I really think that Ben is just stupid.

Grumpy said...

Seal, you're the fucking idiot. The post wasn't even made by G$. Why wouldn't he have a home in Reynolds Plantation, an exclusive gated community that caters to celebs? And as far as hanging out in that college town, it's the only entertainment for miles around.

Mr. Ace said...

Perception is reality. He's a rapist.

Anonymous said...

Very good excuse Grumpy for saying that since its his only entertainment for miles around, its ok for him to go there and sexually assault women. Your backup on this arguement is very very strong. Makes you sound very high in character as well. Keep defending the 2 time sexual assaulter. Scumbag.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Big Ben just needs to go to G$'s house. G$ would definitely just bend on over for him, so he can avoid the whole rape thing.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Hey Seal, why don't you get a dictionary, assuming you can read, and look up the word "alleged".

Anonymous said...

hey grumpy, you really are a stupid fuck. the point we are all trying to make is even if it is alleged or didnt happen, he is still hurting his rep and his team. there is no reason for him to be putting himself in these situations. they obviously arent helping him or the teams situations.

Seal