Friday, March 05, 2010

The Mail-In Post Where I Call Out Millions Of People


Listen up, people. I've got some personal things on the mind right now (ailing relative if you must know) and blogging is sort of taking a back seat today but after reading the rant at the end, that is a lie. You'll live. So you are getting a mail-in post today with a bunch of quick hitters.

*Apparently, the shitter was full like I already knew. The Redskins cut a metric ton of dead weight from the roster. Say goodbye to Antwaan Randle El (worthless), Fred Smoot (better on a sex cruise), Ladell Betts (terrible), and unfortunately, The Golden Arm of Todd Collins. Those 4 non-contributors made a combined 12 million dollars last year. Just awful. What a terrible organization.

*By the time you read this, NFL free agency will have begun. And that means that Crazy-ass Dan Snyder will have already pissed away 50 million dollars on some old fuck. My guess for this year: Julius Peppers. I expect him to get between 400-420 million per year for 20 years. We never learn. Who is your guess for the first free agent that the Redskins waste money on this offseason? This could be a fun game. If it isn't Peppers, I'll pick Smash Williams from Friday Night Lights.

*I was listening to the Simmons/Rick Reilly podcast last night and Reilly actually made a very good point. Tiger might not be in all this hot water if he weren't so damn cheap. And he's right. His hook-ups aren't spilling secrets if they are getting taken care of. You got to pay those bitches off! If a waitress receives little Tiger but is still waiting tables, of course she is going to spill her guts to the Enquirer. Take care of your ho's, playas.

*If you had one Spring Training game in your office "When Will Nick Johnson Get Hurt" pool, you just won.

*Did you see the video of that skank from Baylor punching that other dyke on the basketball court? I haven't seen a scene in women's sports that ugly since the Pat Summitt sex tape.

*Milton Bradley blamed Chicago for his shittiness last season. This amuses me. I can pinpoint the exact moment when everything went south for this nutjob: the minute he became a Cub.

*Finally, I want to talk about some of the commenters at MGoBlog who were talking shit about me yesterday. Here's the rundown of what happened. Reilly wrote yet another article about court storming yesterday. Deadspin linked to Ace's post from awhile back reminding everyone that Reilly is about the millionth person to write a column about that. Ace posted the link on MGoBlog. Site traffic went up a bit and people from there ended up reading my post from yesterday. They did not care for my colorful language and sense of humor. Needless to say, they are dickless ferries with no fucking clue as to what the internet is all about. If you aren't being funny or you aren't breaking stories, NO ONE IS READING YOU. I decided a long time ago that we were going funny/crude here.

So let me tell you something, Michigan fans. I don't care if you like my style or the opinions that come from this blog. You can continue to post on your little message boards about how The Noid is going to lead Michigan athletics back to the promised land. Of course, in this instance, the "promised land" still means "Tressel's bitch". You people are nobodies. Your thoughts do not have any effect on me. Don't like my jokes about dropping nukes on Japan? Tough fucking shit. Tired of the gay references? That's your problem. I am not a homophobe. I just like calling people queers and faggots. And YOU, Michigan fans, are faggots. In the realm of college athletics, The University of Michigan does not even warrant discussion anymore. And I like to believe that it's not just the shitty leadership, the terrible coaching hires, or the questionable talent in every sport. But it's you. You are awful fans. Never has 100K people sounded so meek than on a Saturday afternoon in The Big House. You were the pre-pubescent girls that got so excited about a win over fucking UConn that you HAD to run on the floor. YOU ARE THE PUNCHLINE TO A JOKE THAT IS STILL BEING TOLD.

I will not be insulted by homos. I will not be insulted by homos. I will not be insulted by homos. Hell, I didn't even start it! Have a good weekend and thanks for letting me get that shit off of my chest. And fuck off, anOSU fans, I still hate you more.

22 comments:

Grumpy said...

There's a Pat Summitt sex tape?

Anonymous said...

That skank on Baylor definitely has the same thing going on as that runner from Africa...as in some dude chromosones.

Great rant about Michigan and their pusssy ass fan base. Is there a link where I can see what those FAGGOTS said about you?

--Drew

GMoney said...

I'll leave the linking to Ace.

Mr. Ace said...

I left a link in yesterdays comments.

Grump, you know you have greased your palms many times to Pat Summitt's old vagina.

The Redskins haven't dropped crazy amounts of cash yet, maybe Bruce Allen can actually get through to one of the worst owners in sports.

Did anybody read the Simmons article/chat where he compared Tiger coming back from sex rehab to Ali coming back from the slammer after being jailed for not serving in Vietnam?

Anonymous said...

Http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/bucknuts-letter-rushing-court#comment-408642

Jeff said...

If you're going to mail-in a rant like that, by all means, mail-in that bitch more often.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading that thread a great deal.

As for NFL....

Lions are doing some good work today. Signed Burleson to give Calvin something that looks remotely like a decent # 2 WR...about to sign Kyle Vanden Bosch...and traded for Corey Williams of the Browns. Very weird that the Lions are doing decent things.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Corey Williams and decent move can't be put in the same sentence. Dude was a bust from the day we traded for him.

Dut

Mr. Ace said...

For the record, despite me being banned from posting on Mgoblog--until I make up another account and drop some more bombs--I still read it quasi-religiously. I have never came across a team specific blog that has better content. The Mgoblog guy knows his shit and I like what he puts out. The commenters on the other hand...the douchiness is unmatched. Grown men beating off to logarithms and star trek would probably be the best description.

GMoney said...

There are 25 million reasons why paying Nate f'n Burleson 25 million dollars is wrong.

Looks like the Skins are going hard after Packets LT Chad Clifton. If you are going to rebuild your O-Line, why wouldn't you look at the Packers first? Rodgers got his ass beat all season. Awful.

Mr. Ace said...

I'm still pulling for the Leonard Little to DC deal.

Anonymous said...

Dut...Williams was excellent with the Packers in a 4-3 defense...he sucked in the Browns 3-4 defense. Lions roll with a 4-3 and he'll have McCoy or Suh taking up space next to him.

G$...Only $ 11 M is guaranteed to Nasty Nate...the rest is fake money unless he's worth keeping.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Fake money as in Lydell Ross money?

Anonymous said...

Ace....MGoBlog is a very good blog and I read it daily as well. That being said, Brian still has Rich Rod's cock shoved way too much down his throat and seemingly won't talk shit about him because he blowed him so hard from the day he was hired. He also looks stupid with how he likes to continue to say that the Free Press was proved wrong by the NCAA findings, when in reality they still came down with five major violations. I've got no problem with him saying the Free Press was on a witch hunt or anythign like that, but to act like their whole practice gate was a fraud just makes him look petty and stupid. His unabashed loyalty to Rich Rod is way worse though.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Oh....how I love days where I get a Lydell Ross reference. Easily one of my top five least favorite Buckeyes of all time. He was easily the biggest douche. He's currently a fire fighter in Tampa.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

This has absolutely nothing to do with anything in todays post, but it's friday and we are all going to drink some booze this weekend right? Well check out this article and see how close we are to being hangover free. I've never been so excited about science. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100301165604.htm

Mr. Ace said...

Drew, I agree with you for the most part about Brian. I think he had so clearly entrenched himself in favor of RichRod that he has no choice now but stick it out and hope. However, I think he sees how many ppl in the UM community that have been against him since day one and doesn't believe RR is getting a fair shake.

The Freep was "right" in simplest since of the term. It would be like if I said Dut sucks two million dicks per day when it turns out he only sucks 10. The Freep drew attention by throwing out ridiculous claims, as far as numbers, and in turn caused an NCAA investigation that did turn up violations but nothing near what the Freep reported.

Anonymous said...

I also got great enjoyment out of reading the comment thread on mgoblog. The best was after Ace posted G$'s reply to all of it and the comment immediately proceeding it was "I feel dirty."

-Lil' Strut

Tony B. said...

I just saw on Sportcenter that Julius Peppers is flying to Chicago and probably signing with the Bears. If that happens and Urlacher comes back healthy, the Bears' defense could be nasty. The again, Lovie Smith is still the coach.

MuDawgfan said...

Falcons added some cred to their Secondary by signing Dunta Robinson from Houston.

In regards to UM fans being touchy about G$'s salty language - I'll quote my favor G$ passage of all.

"You might not be gay, but you are definately a faggot"

Tony B. said...

Why is Big Ben getting accused of sexual assault again? NFL stars shouldn't need to assault women to get some. They have millions of dollars, which means they could probably get two chicks at the same time!

http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/05/ben-roethlisberger-accused-of-sexual-assault/

Anonymous said...

greatmake money from home at http://fastestmakemoneyfromhome.blogspot.com