Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I'm Calling My Shots: Vegas Special March Madness Style

(Yeah, I'm a cocksucker, but you love me.)
I was trying to think of a way I could put together a little March Madness challenge similar to what I put together for the College Bowl games--I didn't come up with anything. It just would have been impossible to put together something for the weekend games. Instead, I invite everyone to put some picks that they feel strongly about in the comments and we can have a little unofficial competition...and listen to Drew fellate himself about his great gambling insights.

Ladies and queers, there is money to be made with these first round matchups and I am here to lead you to the greenbacks.

First, I've got a some picks that involve a couple teams G Money mentioned yesterday.
BYU vs Florida- BYU-5
I can't believe this. I'm rolling with the Stormin' Mormons. BYU is incredibly efficient on the offensive end and Florida is the worst at-large team in the tournament. Unless one of Florida's big men go absolutely nuts, BYU is going to run away with this one. BYU -5

Siena vs Purdue- Purdue-4
Lock this mother fucker up. I was all over Siena last year(remember that Fuckeyes?) and I loved Ubiles and Rossiter last year. This year, I want to have their babies. Siena plays good D, but their real strength is not allowing the opposing team to get to the free throw line. Purdue really isn't great at anything and without Hummel they just aren't a good team. Siena +4.

Baylor vs Sam Houston State- Baylor-11

It has been a long time coming for Baylor and this opportunity will not be squandered. Baylor is going to kick seven shades of shit out of SHSU. Baylor-11.

Old Dominion vs Notre Dame- ND-2.

Who the fuck is going to stop Gerald Lee, the 6'10" Finlandian(sounds way cooler than Finnish) monster? ND doesn't have a guy who can matchup. ODU has some serious size up front and I think it's going to give ND some problems. ND looked really good down the stretch...but I just can't shake the feeling that ND can't matchup with ODU. ODU+2.

UTEP vs Butler- Butler-2.5
This one, I'm going the other way. Both teams are actually very similar as far as efficiency. I just don't trust Caracter. I'm going with Butler's savvy. I'm going with Butler's system. They're a proven commodity. I think people like to pick against them now that they have shed their Cinderella tag. Butler-2.5.

Houston vs Maryland- Maryland-9
Houston blew their wad getting into the tournament, they are done. Maryland is winning by 20. I still hate you Gravy Vasquez. Terps -9.

There are a couple other games that I like too.

Murray State vs Vandy- Vandy-3

The moment this matchup was announced I was all over Murray State. I love Murray State. They've got experience. They've got talent. They've got depth. Vanderbilt is a good team at home, but they aren't the same team without that advantage. Murray crashes the boards, forces turnovers, and holds opponents to low FG%. Murray State+3.

Minnesota vs Xavier- Minny-1

Dammit! Why the hell is Minny favored! I was hoping to jump on some points or at least get some money line love. Xavier hasn't beaten a good team all year long. There only mildly impressive win was at Florida. Minnesota however, has taken down Butler, Michigan State, Purdue, and the Fuckeyes. I don't think Crawford can carry Xavier past Minny. And if you look at what Crawford has done when up against tournament level competition, you will see that he and Xavier struggle. Minny-1.

So please Maniacs, shower down your sports betting knowledge upon us! Whatever you do, don't listen to anything Lil Strut says in the comments. I remember him getting all butt hurt about the Fuckeyes last year, he can't be trusted.

Also I have a little bonus play. How many Ottawa Hills housewives did Gene Cross bang out before skipping town? I'm putting the over/under at 13. Another fine hire Toledo!


GMoney said...

So can this big Finnish fuck guard Harangody?

Why would anyone other than you bet on Minnesota? That team is terrible. The let Ohio State shoot over 100% in the second half on Sunday. I didn't think that that was possible. Xavier will beat them soundly. That's easy money.

Grumpy said...

I hope you back your picks with real money Ace, so we can see how you enjoy being homeless.

GMoney said...

Gene Cross may have been the worst hire in the history of college athletics. He makes Rich Rodriguez look like Tom Osborne.


Mr. Ace said...

Time for Toledo to bring in the legend...Tim Reiser.

Grump, shut your fucking face and make some picks you bloody tampon.

GMoney said...

BYU and UTEP for me. I'll take the Gauchos straight up as well.

Anonymous said...

How many of these do you want me to pick, Ace? I'll give you three picks on spreads and two big MONEY LINE upsets.


NOTRE DAME -2 over Old Dominion
MARQUETTE - 2 over Washington
NEW MEXICO STATE +13.5 over Michigan State

Money Line Upsets...

GEORGIA TECH to beat Okie State

and the big one....

OAKLAND to beat Pittsburgh


Upstate Underdog said...

Do not underestimate a team coached by Tom Penders, take Houston plus the points.

GMoney said...

UU, I'm going to need an explanation on that statement. Why should I respect Tom Penders again? Is it because he sort of resembles Cousin Larry from Perfect Strangers?

Grumpy said...

Sienna wins, even goes to the Sweet 16.

Upstate Underdog said...

G$, he's taken 4 different teams to the NCAA tourney. The guy wins everywhere he goes. This is his 11th time in the tourney. I'm just saying, the guy has won a lot of games. And yes you should respect him for looking like Cousin Larry.

Tony B. said...

I bet Balki could out-coach Larry.

Anonymous said...

Whoever made these picks will Lose there a$$.

Anonymous said...