Tuesday, March 02, 2010

DickRod is Wearing Out His Welcome

This hasn't been touched on around these parts and, lets face it, nothing is going to beat that porn post so why try? As you all know, the NCAA has put forth formal allegations that Michigan has committed up to five major violations since the beginning of Rich Rodriguez' tenure. More importantly, since the beginning of DickRod's tenure Michigan has only won 3 Big Ten games, 8 regular season games, and not made a bowl game. Michigan has a giant case of Super AIDS with a sprinkling of herpes and the only cure is W's(or whatever Drew's OB-GYN gives him).

I've stood in staunch support of DickRod since he arrived in Ann Arbor and I still stand in his corner, but I am now standing far enough away to avoid the splatter when the shit hits the fan. If it were just the violations, this wouldn't even be a story. Literally, the Detroit Free Press would have never done the hit job they did if DickRod would have came in and won right away. No losing seasons. No hit job. No NCAA interest. No Violations. It's that simple. But Michigan is an embarrassing abortion(is there any other kind?) right now and these violations are serious...sort of.

The main allegations, at least as far as Michigan is concerned, is that Michigan practiced more than the allotted hours in a given week. THE AUDACITY! Can you believe that a major college football program actually makes their players practice more than 20 hours during the week? That is fucking nuts! This must be the first time it has ever happened. Listen, you can say whatever you want about Michigan sucking balls over the past several years, but I don't want to hear shit about these violations. Do you really think we got a competitive advantage from "over-practicing?" Is it really possible to gain a competitive advantage when you are doing the exact same damn thing that everybody else is? Seriously, every fucking program practices more than the NCAA allows...even Miami of Ohio.

The sanctions that come down from this won't be anything more than a loss of some practice hours and losing a coach for a year or two, and probably a few more years of probation since it took a fucking decade for the NCAA to rule on the Ed Martin shenanigans. Really nothing that will affect the program, just something that looks bad. Honestly, I'm kind of pissed with what the NCAA came up with. Although the Free Press through out some asinine numbers, the NCAA only found that Michigan went over the number of allowed practice hours by as little as 20 minutes in some cases. TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES! The thing is, I'm not even pissed at the NCAA for displaying such bitchassness by putting forth these violations, I'm pissed we weren't over by 20 hours. We are the laughing stock of the entire college football landscape and all DickRod is doing is accidentally having his players stretch an extra 20 minutes? Get the fuck out of here. I want bear crawls across burning coals. I want people puking up intestines. I don't want adeqautely stretched hamstrings, that's for fags.

You know what Michigan's problem is? DickRod is a giant, bleeding fucking gash. Remember when he got up in front of everybody and started sobbing like a school girl bitch because he was accused of working his players too hard in the off-season? I was hoping it was all an act and DickRod was actually beating the shit out of his kids. Turns out he is just a pussy and cries like a bitch when falsely accused.

I wasn't a huge fan of the Lloyd Carr era, particularly the end of it, but I am a huge fan of Lloyd Carr for one reason: he didn't give two shits about the media. Nobody will forget back in 2003 when he kneeled on the ball to go into half with the lead against the Fuckeyes and Todd Harris had the stones to ask Lloyd Carr why he took a knee with two timeouts left. Lloyd's response, "Why would you ask a dumb question like that?" Harris tried to follow up with the same question and Lloyd just shook his head and headed down the tunnel. That is classic Lloyd Carr, something Michigan is missing right now. Can you imagine if the sniveling hacks at the Freep tried to pull that shit on Lloyd? His response would have been a hell storm of awesome, not some grown man crying about practice.

With these allegations, it is 2010 or bust for ol' DickRod. Without the allegations, I think DickRod could get have gotten away with a .500 record and a bowl birth and still been able to stick around one more year. With the allegations and the penalties coming from them, I think DickRod needs 8 wins to stick around. And honestly, I really hope he does stick around. I like the athletes we are bringing in and think he can build an offense that can dominate the Big Ten. I just don't know if he will get that chance.

Also, fuck Morgan Trent. I was actually starting to feel bad about a piece a wrote back in 2008 that stated I wished Trent would have been swallowed. I have never been more proud of that piece now. You will want to check it out, here it is.


GMoney said...

Has the missus started talking to you again after Porn Day?

Richie is just a scumbag...plain and simple. The best part is that when he fails and gets fired, the next coach will come in, and be stuck with his soft but fast players which do not fit his system. It's another glorious rebuild!!!

Anonymous said...

If Dick Rod was at Ohio St., he would have been fired after last year. Ohio St. fans and administration would not tolerate back to back losing seasons.

What a joke Michigan has become.


Anonymous said...

I'm not sure how to word this and not infringe on G$'s correct view on rivalries...in which you never ever root for Michigan. But, I kind of hope that Dick Rod wins 7 games this year, just because it means he will keep his job and keep this disaster ongoing.

Here's my prediction on their schedule...

UCONN -- (L) -- I really think they are going to lose this game and I'm praying they do. A home opener loss to UConn will just send their fan base into ape shit mode.

At ND -- (L) -- Huge game for the Brian Kelly era...first big game of it and at ND.

UMass -- (W) -- I didn't know they played football.

Bowling Green -- (W)

At Indiana -- (L) -- They should have lost to the Hoosiers last year. Shoot out with Michigan's defense being worse than Indiana's.

Michigan State -- (W) -- I've lost a lot of faith in Dantonio.

Iowa (L) -- No way.

At Penn State (L) -- Joe Pa won't even need his new contact lens to see this one as a win.

Illinois (W) -- Michigan made Juice Williams look like Troy Smith Jr. the last couple of years...he's gone now, which means Zook has no more weapons.

At Purdue (W)-- I think they split with the sucky Indiana teams.

Wisconsin (L) -- John Clay over under on yardage starts at 260...I'm going over.

At Ohio State (L) -- Tressel continues his pnwage.

That comes out to a 5-7 record. That would be a real fun season to watch.


Anonymous said...

Drew- no way they beat BGSU this year. Tyler Sheehan > Forcier and DG

If you remember from Aces post after week 4 of the season, Michigan was the best team ever created ever. They beat Notre Dame for fuck sake! (Now that I think about it, Jimmy Claussen couldn't even beat this Michigan team. Please get drafted by the Skins) What if that team shows up all season long next year? We're all fucked!


Grumpy said...

What should embarrass you most is that even with all the extra practice, they still sucked.

GMoney said...

I think that Sheehan is finally gone, Dut.

This is not even a rivalry anymore. It's just sad.

Mr. Ace said...

Fuck all of you equally.

It took Mrs. Ace a couple days but she did finally break the silence.

I think M will go 7-5. No way we lose to the Hoosiers and we will win one of our first two games. ND is going to be fucking awful. UConn will give us troubles but I'm not prepared to chalk it up as an L just yet.

Anonymous said...

I am with G$...this is what Michigan gets for hiring a guy because of the system he runs, rather than how good of a coach he actually is. After he gets fired, it will be another 2-3 years before Michigan reaches relevance, again. In some small way, I am saddened by the meteoric plunge of the Michigan football program.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

If I am LS's "side", I want to change sides. That seems to be a losing team.

Jeff said...

Screw being sad about that dumpster fire up there. Let it burn baby!

Anonymous said...

I understand enjoying the fact that Michigan's program is in absolute shambles right now. However, if it continues, it will only hurt the rivalry and I definitely do not want to see that.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Michigan being bad is only hurting the big 10 & the buckeyes...but I'm sure the knuckledragging buckeye faithful fail to see it that way. They want to see michigan struggle no matter the cost. A soft michigan team in a soft big 10 means osu plays soft teams every year in conference...which is why they can't beat a sec or big 12 team in a bowl game. Great job this year..you beat a team that ranked 973rd in defense that plays in the weak ass pac 10. Keep rooting for michigan to be bad osu neanderthals...its only making your team worse.