Wednesday, March 03, 2010

8 Reasons Why 23 Wanted 6

So LeBron James is going to give up wearing the number 23 next season. After that awful Jim Carrey movie of the same name, I don't blame him. But he says that is out of respect to the best player of all time and worst talent evaluator of all time, Michael Jordan. And that's pretty cool. But I think that it's more than that. I think that Bron Bron may have ulterior motives here. Sure, MJ is a nice cover-up for LeBron's true intentions for why he is going to wear his Olympic number (#6) beginning next season. *By the way, he wouldn't have had to file this paperwork for a number change if he planned on playing anywhere other than Cleveland next season...keep that in mind*.

But back to the switch from 23 to 6, here are eight potential reasons for why LeBron James is making the switch.
1. Like me, he is a huge Motley Crue fan and enjoys the guitar work of the great Nikki Sixx. However, you will never hear one Cavs fan say, "Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away" to The King.
2. Maybe LBJ is a big fan of the NWO and the lame character known as Syxx? I doubt it though. This loser made a sex tape with Chyna and it was 100% awful. If Mr. Ace didn't mention it during Porn Day here last week, you know it was lame.
3. Is LeBron into NASCAR? Does he support the driving style of David Ragan? Is he trying to parlay this into a UPS endorsement? No, maybe, and only if he gets to kill the annoying whiteboard guy.
4. Ummm, no. Motel 6 is good enough for bowling but not good enough for the best baller on the planet. I'm a loser and even I wouldn't stay at a Motel 6.
5. I like to think that LeBron is awesome at the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. I like to think LeBron watches the greatness which is Tremors before every big game.
6. Ah yes, wearing #6 as a tribute. Bron Bron knows his basketball history and wearing the same digits as Dr. J and Bill Russell has some definite appeal. No one better tell him that Matt Belford wore #6 for NHS though as that could be a dealbreaker.
7. This is Tricia Helfer who, I guess, played a character called "Number Six" on Battlestar Galactica. You have to be a special sort of loser to be a fan of this show. She's hot though, but I think that a King could do better.
8. Oh, Blossom, what a confused teenage girl you were! And her best friend, Six, was somehow even more annoying. Although Jenna Von Oy did grow into a decent looking broad. If you remember this show, give me a "whoa". There is no way in Hell that a young LeBron was into Mayim Bialik growing up in Akron though.

What did we learn from this? Nothing. Deep down, the number change probably has to do more with motivation than anything. Michael Jordan won how many rings? That's right...six. Oh, LeBron, your motives are soooo transparent. Either way, when I can write a post that starts with Motley Crue and ends with a show that starred Ted Wass, today was a good day.


Grumpy said...

Great post, but only one reason to change numbers: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

GMoney said...

I thought that that was a given.

Anonymous said...

He probably did it because he thought Diebler would hit six threes last night...but instead he went and hit seven of them.


GMoney said...

Diebs is to you what Nick Swisher is to me. Every once in awhile, he gets a big hit and the crowd loves him, but most of the time he strikes out.

Anonymous said...

Diebs has turned into a better player than I ever thought he would. In HS he was a scorer..not a shooter which most unknowledgeable people thought he was. He has transformed though. He shoots a bunch of threes and has turned into a 40% shooter from beyond the arc. That's a pretty good weapon.


J Beanie said...

All good reasons but the real reason is to match or surpass Kobe and his number change. When Kobe switched from 8 to 24, his 24 became the highest selling jersey. LBJ wants his to do the same which means it will pass Kobe.

That may be the real reason but the underlying reason is he really wanted Seven but Constanza already called it.

Tony B. said...

The former 1-2-3 Kid is the trashiest wrestling of all time. Even more so than Duke "The Dumpster" Droese.

Tony B. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Ace said...

X-Pac says SUCK IT!

OMG Lebron is going to Chicago!

Anonymous said...

Great point, ace. Lebron is going to Chicago.