Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Overtime Dilemma

(Nothing like a picture of Rex Ryan's exposed midriff to get you through the day. Is he wearing sweatpants?)

You know how people like to piss and moan about the BCS? Yeah, it's annoying. My favorite part about that discussion is when your idiot friend concocts his "can't-miss" playoff format that will make everyone happy. The only problem is that, as I stated, your friend is an idiot and no one will ever listen to him. Hell, you're only half paying attention just to be nice. "Oh, that 64 team playoff bracket of yours is a sure-fire winner! You better call up the NCAA right now so they can adopt it ASAP!" You fucking dolt.

Recently, this type of half-assed conjecture is based around the NFL's overtime system. Ever since Bretty-Boy wasn't afforded another possession in the NFC Championship, many pundits have called for the overtime policy to be changed. Did you ever notice that the only time when people bitch about this is when the Golden Boys of the league are effected negatively? Peter King's sausage fingers have only written about this twice: after Favre was on the sidelines this year and last year when Peyton lost to the Chargers. It's only when the guys that he likes are impacted that this is an issue. If there was only a one possession overtime during a meaningless Chiefs/Raiders game, there would be no outrage. Why? Because Peter King is a douche, that's why. Did you know that he likes coffee!!!

When I was a Senior in college, I lived with three guys in a duplex in what is referred to as "The Ghetto". It was a great place to live. I was close to Yager Stadium and Millett Hall. I was a block away from Johnny's Deli which featured an always ample supply of Miller High Life. Like all college off-campus housing, it was not the soundest of structures AKA the walls were painfully thin. My roommate that I shared a wall with tended to piss me off. Let's call him "Flakes". Flakes started dating this broad during the second semester and after awhile, she began staying over a couple of times during the week. No problem, she was cool and we all liked her. But when everyone retired for the night, a situation arose that would have even angered The Situation. You see, she had a tendency to be loud as fuck when being pounded by Flakes. These sessions would last until 4-5 AM. It was awful and, try as I might, I could never fall asleep. I could hear everything and believe me, it was not as cool as you think. Eventually, I calmly confronted Flakes about this asking that they keep it down a bit or at least wait until I fall asleep or something. Because once I'm out, I'm out. You could send in a marching band and I wouldn't wake up. He promised to try and that was that.

Nothing changed. The day that they broke up was the greatest day of my life. The point is, just because I didn't like it and it was negatively effecting my college experience, I couldn't really do anything. A 22 year old isn't going to stop porking an easy lay just because his roommate can't sleep. I understood that. I tried to make things better for myself, but it was futile. When you've got a good thing going, small gripes aren't going to change your practice. It's part of the college male code: fucking > sleeping.

So no matter what sort of crazy changes people come up with to fix the NFL's overtime rules, they don't give a fuck. And they shouldn't. I'm sure that Manning and Favre have won games on the first possession after the coin flip, so when the shoe is on the other foot, fuck 'em.

For the record, I like the NFL overtime rules. It absolutely does NOT come down to a coin flip. That line of thinking is short-sighted AND retarded. There is more to football than offense. STOP SOMEBODY. I've heard people say that they should adopt that college overtime. While I'm OK with how they do things, I like the idea of sudden death. That every play could be the final play is gripping. Make it that you have to get 6 points to win the game? Lame. Give both teams a possession and THEN make it sudden death? How about you all come out of the closet and then we'll play by these rules.

If you can't win a game in regulation, then why are you entitled to a possession in overtime exactly? I don't get this. The Vikings were fucking terrible offensively in that game so exactly how did they earn the right to bitch about the league rules again? If you don't want the game to be decided by a "coin flip" (eventhough it never is), then don't be a queer and settle for a tie. Win the fucker when you have control of the outcome. Go for fucking two!

I hate it when people bitch about things that they can't change. Whether it be sports or politics or how awful 24 is now, it's just annoying. Peter King does this shit all the time which is why he is one of the biggest assholes associated with the NFL. Can you imagine sharing a wall with that hump and listening to him get his fuck on all night? Good lord. It would be Favre this and Favre that and then he would finish into his cup of espresso. Gross.

12 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

I am torn on this issue. I like the idea of each team getting one offensive possession...but I don't know. Here is some data for you, this is from 1974 to 2002:

Both teams have had possession 235 times (72.3%).
The team that has won the toss has won 169 times (52.0%).
The team that has lost the toss has won 141 times (43.4%).
223 games were decided by a field goal (68.6%).
86 games were decided by a TD (26.5%).
One game was decided by a safety (0.3%).
There have been 15 ties (4.6%).

So 75% of the time both teams are getting an offensive possession anyways. The team that wins the coin flip has an obvious, but not huge, advantage. I like the suspense that sudden death brings to the game, one missed tackle and the game could be over. I'm for keeping it the same, but I could handle it being changed.

Anonymous said...

It also sucks when your roommate has night terrors and screams racial slurs in his sleep.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Damman- I think I know who you're referring to, and I saw it first hand once. I would need about 30 beers to sleep over those terrors. I figured it was his body screaming from having 3 or 4 packs of cigarettes and about 15 shots of whisky.

G$- you've had 2 of your finer posts in a row. Nicely done.

I'm fine with the NFL system. If you don't like the system, win the fucking game in regulation! They play a long season. The last thing the NFL needs to do is have a long overtime.

Dut

GMoney said...

Your numbers don't make sense. If you win the toss, you have 52% chance of winning. If you lose it, your odds go down to 43.4%. So there is always a 4.6% chance of a tie then? Eh, maybe it does make sense. I would ask McNabb but he doesn't even know how to add.

Damman, I'm starting to get just as bad. The other night I started sleep-talking about Starbursts.

Dut - Why thank you...every once in awhile I put in some effort.

Mr. Ace said...

Sleep-talking about starbursts? That sounds like a code name Uncle T.

Until you have woken up wearing only a T shirt in a Detroit hotel stairwell, I don't want to hear shit about night terrors, sleep talking, or sleep walking. Drunk walking is where it's at.

Tony B. said...

What if the Vikings didn't have 12 men in the huddle and then Brett Favre didn't throw an ill-advised pick? Then the Vikings would have won in regulation. It's their own fucking fault that they didn't. The rules are fine- defense and special teams are part of the game as well, aren't they?

Jeff said...

NFL overtime is perfectly fine. If anything just get rid of it and end games in a tie, until the playoffs. That way teams will have more urgency in regulation. I still bet there wouldn't be many games ending in a tie . Tails never fails!

GMoney said...

Jeff, I say the same thing during the coin toss. WHY WOULD YOU EVER PICK HEADS!!! Tails NEVER fails.

All this overtime talk does remind me of two of the greatest fuck-ups in NFL history:

1. When Marty Morninwheg decided to kickoff.
2. When Jerome Bettis made the right call on the toss and the ref told him that he didn't.

That was some hilarious shit.

Mr. Ace said...

I was at the Lions game when Bettis made that call in OT.

Tails fails half the time.

GMoney said...

Yes, but tails wins the other half!

That game was on Thanksgiving, right?

Mr. Ace said...

Fo Sho

A New Experienced Me said...

Thanks for the picture of Rex Ryan's pancake batter bean bag gut. I'm about 80% certain I won't ever sleep the same ever again.