Thursday, February 18, 2010

On Parole Agency Has Begun

Well, that was quick. With very few playmakers in the passing game, the Ravens have solved that adding a wide receiver who makes very few plays. Donte Stallworth is on his way to Baltimore!!! From what I gather, this is pretty much the beginning of the free agency period in the NFL. Although classifying Stallworth as "free" is a bit of a stretch. House arrest agent might make more sense.

But in all fairness, this move makes a lot of sense. The Ravens are an organization that loves giving second chances. Sure, this guy murdered a Mexican and served time for it but their captain is also a well-known killer himself! Who better than Ray Lewis to help Stallworth go from social pariah to self-righteous, Bible-hugging asshole? If Ozzie Newsome plays his cards right, he may be able to pry Leonard Little from the Rams, too.

It's as if Baltimore is trying to convert itself from worst city in America to hoping to become the next backdrop for Grand Theft Auto. The characters and slums are already in place. Time to capitalize on this!

Not that I needed to remind you anyway, but the Baltimore Ravens are a fucking disgrace and I don't know how anyone could root for them. I heard that they only went after Stallworth after learning that Rae Carruth was unavailable. They can't wait for Plax to get out and offered Troy Smith to the Eagles for Vick. I'd rather be a Redskins fan than root for a team full of hardcore criminals...or pretty much the exact opposite of Bengals fans.


Anonymous said...

Stallworth got paid about a million a catch for the Browns. What a fucking steal for the Ravens!


Mr. Ace said...

Steal? The guy should be playing in the UFL.

GMoney said...

No one was commenting on this post either, queer. Should the NFL fold in 2 years after the strike, too?

Jeff said...

YES! Make way for the USCA, United States Curling Association!

Anonymous said...

Ace- you should have picked up the sarcasm after I said the browns paid stallworth a million per catch.



GMoney said...

Oh, thanks for clearing that up for me.