Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Michael Vick...Top 10 Quarterback

(I have this painting in my living room)
I few weeks back Mike Vick made some comments about him wanting to have the opportunity to start and that he believes he is a top 10 quarterback. A lot of people got their panties all bunched up when he said this. But guess what Mike, I got your back, DOG! Look around the NFL right now. How many teams have a terrible quarterback? A lot. So looking ahead to the 2010 NFL season, I will give you my Top Ten Quarterbacks. The list will be determined looking at just next year, with the question "What Quarterback gives my team the best chance to win a Super Bowl in 2011?" as the main premise. That means he would be the quarterback for the entire year, I'm not just picking the guy I would want in the Super Bowl...because we all know that would be Brady Quinn. Without any further ado, I bring to you, the only list that really matters:


Number One in My Heart- Bruce "The Polish Punisher" Gradkowski. If he didn't tear both his MCL's then the Raiders would be the favorite to win the Super Bowl next year.

1. Drew Brees- No, this is not an overreaction to the Saints winning the Super Bowl. Brees is a baller. He's a gamer. Have you seen him lead the Saints pre-game chant? That's the kind of leader I want to go into battle with. He can make all the throws. He has excellent mobility. If he didn't have that shit stain on his face he probably would have won three Super Bowl's by now. The only hesitation I have with Brees is that a lot of his success could be due to the genius of Sean Payton...but I'm still rolling with Brees.

2. Tom Brady- He wasn't quite himself this year and he still put up 28 TD's and had a solid passer rating of 96.2. I don't know what passer rating is, but I know Ron Jaworski loves it, so it must be good. This guy won 3 Super Bowls while passing to guys like Troy Brown, Deion Branch, David Patton, David Givens, and Mike Vrabel. Brady can win however he needs to win. He doesn't have to throw the ball 40+ times a game, but he will. Brady is a winner, a guy I trust when the game is on the line. And most importantly, A Michigan Man...whatever the fuck that means.

3. Aaron Rodgers- This one is going to shock some people, but I'm serious. Aaron Rodgers is going to be great the next 5-7 years. I saw it coming this year(which is why he was my fantasy QB in both the JFL and the DFL) and I don't see it stopping. In his first two years as a starting QB he has 58 TD's to just 20 interceptions, that's almost a 3-1 ratio for you stupid fuckers. I'm jumping on the Aaron Rodgers band wagon early because this guy is going to be awesome. Unfortunately, McCarthy is going to have to get canned before Green Bay wins a Super Bowl so it may be a couple years for him.

4. Peyton Manning- Peyton Manning sucks in big games. Sure, he will win a few, but then he will rip your heart out just when you begin to trust him. Why the fuck was everybody announcing Peyton Manning as the greatest all-time last week? He's won one fucking Lombardi Trophy. He's 9-9 in the playoffs. He has a passer rating in the 80's in the post-season. Manning is one of the elite active Quarterbacks, but this guy has to win at least two more rings before the greatest ever talk can even begin.

5. Ben Roethlisberger- When Roethlisbum won his first SB it was sickening how many people were sucking his rape stick. He got carried by a great run game and a great defense, Trent fucking Dilfer can do that. But the way that they won last year was totally different. Big Ben got his ass kicked all season and still stood in there and made the big plays. The Steelers didn't have that same great running attack. I still need to see another great year from Ben before I put him in the upper echelon, but he could be on his way.

6. Philip Rivers- Fuck, I hate Philip Rivers. He's always whining, always talking shit, and always looking like a queer. That being said, he's a hell of a quarterback. If he wasn't way out in San Diego people might actually give a shit about him. He's a hot head, but what do you expect when you play under Marty Schottenheimer and Norv Turner your entire career. I bet he has started every California wildfire since 2004 and kills baby seals.

7. Matt Schaub- Look at this drunken, lazy eyed, retarded troll. This troll is a top ten quarterback in the NFL. Times are changing.

8. Donovan McNabb- Don't even get me fucking started. Please fucking christ, Andy Reid, trade this bum to Cleveland. I know all to well what this choke artist brings to the table.

9. Tony Romo- I almost feel bad for Romo. Bill Parcells pushed him into superstar status and he just isn't a superstar. He will always find a way to lose in the big moments.

10. Michael Vick- I think he has changed both on and off the field. From what I saw last year, I think he looks smoother when throwing the ball. He's not going to be wasting all his energy on strangling dogs. His herpes is likely under control no, so no more frustrating outbreaks. If Vick can get the opportunity, I think he will prove to be a Top Ten QB next year.

Name another quarterback that will play in the NFL next year that is better than Michael Vick. Yes, I am assuming Brett Favre will not be back next year because after that beat down the Saints gave him I think he is happy to walk away alive. He's not going to put his body through another season. If I did think he was coming back, he would have been #6 on my list for what its worth. The only other player I can think of that I would even consider taking over Vick is Vince Young. I don't know what it is, but Vince just wins. But he is a psychopath and I want to see him start an entire year without going all Steve McNair before I put him in the top ten.

Do you see how terrible the quarterbacks are in the NFL? If it is such a pass friendly league now, why do two-thirds of them still blow dick? Feel free to argue with me in the comments...at your own peril. Please do not bring up Peyton's ratarded brother, Carson Palmer's corpse, or Matty Ice's super symmetrical face.


Grumpy said...

If you're going to write this drivel, turn it back over to G$. At least his drivel is intelligent.

Anonymous said...

Nice painting in your living room. I have a similar painting, but instead of Vick it is myself and instead of dead dogs there are dead little girls around me.

I would take Stafford over Vick.


Anonymous said...

This is the most retarded post ever. You're a total jack-off if you think Mike Vick is even in the top 25. If he sucked before prison, I'm sure he sucks after prison. G Money, you need to fire this guy. He sucks. He adds nothing to this site.


GMoney said...

"Intelligent Drivel"...I take that as a compliment.

Michigan Man = Lloyd Carr...so yes, no one knows what that term means.

I would put Big Ben at 3 and Rodgers at 5, Vick at 45, Ryan in the top ten, and Romo on Jason Witten's scrotum.

Mike Vick is barely the number ten QB in the NFC East. Romo, Kitna, Elisha, David Carr, McNugget, Kolb, J-Camp, The Golden Arm of Todd Collins, and gun-slinging, fake field goal expert Hunter Smith are all better! Vick is somewhere next to Colt Brennan and Koy Detmer.

GMoney said...

I'm not going to fire someone with a pretty mouth.

Mr. Ace said...

So...everybody agrees with my list?

Anonymous said...

except for the fact that I didnt really write that.

Seal(not some asshole posing as Seal)

Mr. Ace said...



Matt Ryan, Jay Cutler, Carson Palmer....shit, I might even take the Sanchize ahead of Vick's retarded ass.

Anonymous said...

Vick isn't a top 10 qb in the afc north either:

1. Troy Smith
2. Big ben
3. Flacco
4. Carson
5. Quinn
6. DA
7. Charlie Batch
8. Dennis Dixon
9. Carson's brotha
10. Cribbs

Am I missing something? What did Vick do pre or post prison rape to be a top 10 QB? Did he have more than 10 plays last year?


Mr. Ace said...

Remember this day, ass holes. Vick will be a top ten qb if he starts somewhere next year. Even if he goes to the fucking Rams, he will still be better than Matt Ryan, Carson Palmer, any of the queers in Cleveland, J-Camp, and Jay Cutler.

GMoney said...

Jordan Palmer and Charlie Batch are worse than me.

Tony B. said...

Even after witnessing Cutler's ability to throw 5 picks in a game- I still would take him over Vick. Vick is garbage.

Anonymous said...

My list of top QB's.in the NFL

1. Brees
2. Peyton Manning
3. Tom Brady
78. Josh Cribbs
79. Lil' Strut
80. Mike Vick

-Lil' Strut

Nate B. said...


Or should we just hold out for Tate Forcier to overtake Vick as the next biggest thing.

May the Forcier be with you.

Mr. Ace said...

Tate Forcier=Drew Brees. Book it, bitch.

GMoney said...

Nate B may have disappeared for a fortnight, but when he shows up again, HE BRINGS IT STRONG!!!

Ace will never live down that "Forcier Be With You" post.

MuDawgfan said...

I don't know who this "Lil' Strut" character is - but I like his style.

Daniel said...

Trent Edwards is noticeably absent from this list. I think it's safe to assume that was merely an oversight on your part.