Friday, February 26, 2010
How pumped is everyone for the NFL Combine this weekend!!! No one? Whatever. I would rather listen to my wife tell me work stories (and I REALLY dislike those) than watch this shit, but since this is the future of the NFL, it is kind of important. I can't believe I am actually going to write these next paragraphs. I really can't. I would say, "before judging me harshly, hear me out", but I deserve every bit of scorn that I will surely receive from this post.
I would not be upset if the Redskins drafted Jimmy Clausen.
Uh, you know what, that didn't sound nearly as bad in my head as it looks now that it is typed out. But I stand by it anyway. Now, as I mentioned last week, the Redskins really fucking need to overhaul the offensive line and drafting a stud left tackle in the top five is almost always a great idea. (In case you were wondering, currently the Redskins longest tenured starting offensive lineman is Derrick Dockery at ONE year. What a fucking terrible organization.) The counter-argument here is that very few teams have long term success without a franchise QB. There appear to be only two available this year in the draft.
Adam Schefter's symmetrical head is GUARANTEEING that the Rams are taking Sam Bradford at #1. That's a bit of a surprise while at the same time, it isn't at all. You can't just keep ignoring that unless something changes, the corpse of Marc Bulger is your starter. What I will argue here is that if a QB is not taken in the top 3 and Shanahan decides to get himself a slinger of his own, Clausen makes the most sense to me.
I really don't understand all the love for Bradford anyway. Heisman winning quarterbacks have always sucked in the NFL. He hardly ever got touched at OU. When he did, he got hurt. He is coming off shoulder surgery. He took a large chunk of his snaps from the shotgun. He looks like Drew Thompson. Native Americans have zero track record of success in the NFL, too! He is far from being a lock.
Now, I suppose I owe you an explanation for sort of coming around on the gay ostrich from Notre Dame (pun definitely intended...for dramatic effect!). Yes, he is immature. Yes, he is a punk bitch. Yes, his former teammates have questioned his leadership. I am aware of all of this. HOWEVAH! He played in a pro-style offense. He is used to playing behind God awful offensive lines (which is the Redskins finest attribute). He was really good in fourth quarters last year. He can make all the throws according to Kiper. He has a knack for comebacks. He is apparently a hard worker and a team first guy. He is not black (just kidding...or maybe I'm not...you can decide).
Take the pro's that I just listed. Isn't that EXACTLY what you want from your QB? The only problem is that this package comes in the form of Jimmy Clausen. If Tim Tebow was packing this line, he would be the consensus #1 pick! While Jimmy's appearance is a HUGE problem, at least he isn't Brady Quinn. Quinn never won anything in college (may not be true, but don't want to look it up). I guess that Clausen sort of reminds me of Eli Manning. He is a fully functioning retard who is probably not as highly regarded as he should be because he is retarded.
So take all of that into account for a minute and let it sink in. I STILL DON'T WANT THE REDSKINS TO TAKE A QB. But if they do, I would rather have this retard than Navajo Joe. And I would REALLY rather them take one this year than try to get Jake Locker next year because he is extremely fucking terrible. I think that an old creed for addicts is something like "admission is the first step on the road to recovery". I just admitted that I would have no problem with my team drafting Jimmy Clausen. I think that is the first step on the road to suicide.
Have a good weekend all. I will be attending Jim Gaffigan's set at the Ohio Theatre on Saturday night (fuck yeah). If you aren't watching Olympic hockey tonight and Sunday, we can not be friends anymore. I have changed my allegiance though...GO AMERICA!!!