Monday, February 01, 2010
Well this certainly sucks. With no meaningful football taking place this past weekend, it's going to be tough to blog today. But that is why I get paid the big bucks (nothing). First of all, as far as my free bachelor weekend was concerned that turned out to only be one day, I ended up have a 7000 calorie lunch at Thurman's on Saturday, hosted a poker game in which Dut can officially go fuck himself (who goes to the fucking MALL?), and got ridiculously drunk. It was quite enjoyable.
Anyway, today we are going to talk about allegiances. More specifically, allegiances to your favorite teams. Now, not everyone goes the route of rooting for the hometown team. I am one of those people. I have my reasons which I will explain later on. But the fact that some people (Seal) believe that unless you are from that city, you can't root for them, is just retarded. If your team becomes your team early in life, that's cool. And if you are like the many people who pull for the teams that your dad does, that is fine, too. Just as long as you don't root for the Red Sox, Cowboys, or Ohio State.
So without further ado, allow me to explain my allegiances.
Why is G$ a Yankees fan?
-There was no other option for this. I was a Yankees fan or I was going to be put up for adoption. I was named after a Yankee...and he got caught corking his bat! My dad wanted to call me "Thurman" but mom advised him that that was retarded and talked him out of it. Thanks, mom. You have to understand something about the Yankees. They were fucking terrible in the 80's through the mid-90's. I have this old Starting Lineup thing that has 9 players on it. Such legends as Roberto Kelly, Don Slaught, Rafael Santana, Mike Pagliarulo, and John Candaleria are featured. Don fucking Slaught. Sure, it's great to be a fan now, but it wasn't always high payrolls and awesome players. I like to think that I am being rewarded now for suffering through those shitball teams of my youth. Also, being a Yankees fan allows me to talk down to fans of other teams because I am clearly better and smarter than them. Hey, I don't make the rules, I just follow them. So to answer your question, yes, it is awesome being a Yankees fan.
Why is G$ a Redskins fan?
-Beats the shit out of me...this franchise makes me want to kill myself these days. Fortunately, they were good when I was a little kid just starting to get into loving football. I have no idea why my father started liking this team (I think he liked Sonny Jurgensen) but I went along for the rollercoaster ride of following these guys. I still remember sitting on a big floor pillow in the living room watching Doug Williams drop bomb after bomb on the Broncos in the Super Bowl. Man, I loved Ricky Sanders. He was easily my favorite of the Monk, Gary Clark, Ricky triumverate of awesome. Joe Gibbs has always oozed class. I always have respected the Redskins decisions to not change their name, too. I like the "fuck 'em" approach. I have mentioned before that I was lucky enough to witness the last Skins Super Bowl. Me being there and taking a halftime leak next to Boomer Esiason has likely cursed this franchise for the rest of eternity, but fuck it. I could never quit these guys. They have won three Super Bowls in my lifetime. What kind of asshole throws that away to bandwagon jump some other team? I'm happy to be stuck with this franchise.
Why is G$ a Cavs fan?
-Now I freely admit that my Cavs fandom has not always been high. Can you blame me though? When a team is built around Shawn Kemp, I think it's more than acceptable to ignore them for awhile. My love for the Cavs begins in the now plowed over Richfield Coliseum. My dad and a group of others used to have season tickets there that were behind the basket 7 rows off the floor. They were GREAT seats. I used to go once or twice per season and got to see Jordan and a young Shaq play up close. It was amazing. And the Cavs were pretty good, too, with the Price/Daugherty/Nance team. One of the forgotten members of those teams was Ron Harper. He was the best player on that team. I will not argue this. He was the most complete player on those teams. Then one night, the Cavs traded him to the Clippers for Danny fucking Ferry. Since Harp was a Miami guy, this did not sit well with pops who eventually dropped out of his share of the tickets. Then the Cavs became awful again and wore even worse uniforms. Finally, they threw an entire season away to save the franchise with LeBron. All of a sudden, there was some juice with the Cavaliers. There was a buzz. I moved to Cleveland before Bron's second season in the league and have been hooked ever since. I think it drives She$ fucking nuts that I have to watch every single game no matter how meaningless it is.
Why is G$ a RedHawks fan?
-Other than graduating from there, I have no idea. They really, truly suck at everything but hockey right now.
So there. I hope that helped you understand G$ a little bit better. But I'm interested in the feedback from you. If you root for Cleveland teams, why did you pick them instead of Cincy or Detroit teams? Why does Drew love everything Michigan but is an anOSU homer? Why does Dut like the Browns and Tigers? Why is Lester a Colts fan? Why would anyone be a Cubs fan? Why is Grump a Steelers fan? Why is Ace an Eagles, Spurs, and White Sox asshole? Yes, I do want to know more about you all here. Don't take this for granted. This will probably be the last time that I show any interest in you.