Monday, February 01, 2010

I Pledge Allegiance

Well this certainly sucks. With no meaningful football taking place this past weekend, it's going to be tough to blog today. But that is why I get paid the big bucks (nothing). First of all, as far as my free bachelor weekend was concerned that turned out to only be one day, I ended up have a 7000 calorie lunch at Thurman's on Saturday, hosted a poker game in which Dut can officially go fuck himself (who goes to the fucking MALL?), and got ridiculously drunk. It was quite enjoyable.

Anyway, today we are going to talk about allegiances. More specifically, allegiances to your favorite teams. Now, not everyone goes the route of rooting for the hometown team. I am one of those people. I have my reasons which I will explain later on. But the fact that some people (Seal) believe that unless you are from that city, you can't root for them, is just retarded. If your team becomes your team early in life, that's cool. And if you are like the many people who pull for the teams that your dad does, that is fine, too. Just as long as you don't root for the Red Sox, Cowboys, or Ohio State.

So without further ado, allow me to explain my allegiances.

Why is G$ a Yankees fan?
-There was no other option for this. I was a Yankees fan or I was going to be put up for adoption. I was named after a Yankee...and he got caught corking his bat! My dad wanted to call me "Thurman" but mom advised him that that was retarded and talked him out of it. Thanks, mom. You have to understand something about the Yankees. They were fucking terrible in the 80's through the mid-90's. I have this old Starting Lineup thing that has 9 players on it. Such legends as Roberto Kelly, Don Slaught, Rafael Santana, Mike Pagliarulo, and John Candaleria are featured. Don fucking Slaught. Sure, it's great to be a fan now, but it wasn't always high payrolls and awesome players. I like to think that I am being rewarded now for suffering through those shitball teams of my youth. Also, being a Yankees fan allows me to talk down to fans of other teams because I am clearly better and smarter than them. Hey, I don't make the rules, I just follow them. So to answer your question, yes, it is awesome being a Yankees fan.

Why is G$ a Redskins fan?
-Beats the shit out of me...this franchise makes me want to kill myself these days. Fortunately, they were good when I was a little kid just starting to get into loving football. I have no idea why my father started liking this team (I think he liked Sonny Jurgensen) but I went along for the rollercoaster ride of following these guys. I still remember sitting on a big floor pillow in the living room watching Doug Williams drop bomb after bomb on the Broncos in the Super Bowl. Man, I loved Ricky Sanders. He was easily my favorite of the Monk, Gary Clark, Ricky triumverate of awesome. Joe Gibbs has always oozed class. I always have respected the Redskins decisions to not change their name, too. I like the "fuck 'em" approach. I have mentioned before that I was lucky enough to witness the last Skins Super Bowl. Me being there and taking a halftime leak next to Boomer Esiason has likely cursed this franchise for the rest of eternity, but fuck it. I could never quit these guys. They have won three Super Bowls in my lifetime. What kind of asshole throws that away to bandwagon jump some other team? I'm happy to be stuck with this franchise.

Why is G$ a Cavs fan?
-Now I freely admit that my Cavs fandom has not always been high. Can you blame me though? When a team is built around Shawn Kemp, I think it's more than acceptable to ignore them for awhile. My love for the Cavs begins in the now plowed over Richfield Coliseum. My dad and a group of others used to have season tickets there that were behind the basket 7 rows off the floor. They were GREAT seats. I used to go once or twice per season and got to see Jordan and a young Shaq play up close. It was amazing. And the Cavs were pretty good, too, with the Price/Daugherty/Nance team. One of the forgotten members of those teams was Ron Harper. He was the best player on that team. I will not argue this. He was the most complete player on those teams. Then one night, the Cavs traded him to the Clippers for Danny fucking Ferry. Since Harp was a Miami guy, this did not sit well with pops who eventually dropped out of his share of the tickets. Then the Cavs became awful again and wore even worse uniforms. Finally, they threw an entire season away to save the franchise with LeBron. All of a sudden, there was some juice with the Cavaliers. There was a buzz. I moved to Cleveland before Bron's second season in the league and have been hooked ever since. I think it drives She$ fucking nuts that I have to watch every single game no matter how meaningless it is.

Why is G$ a RedHawks fan?
-Other than graduating from there, I have no idea. They really, truly suck at everything but hockey right now.

So there. I hope that helped you understand G$ a little bit better. But I'm interested in the feedback from you. If you root for Cleveland teams, why did you pick them instead of Cincy or Detroit teams? Why does Drew love everything Michigan but is an anOSU homer? Why does Dut like the Browns and Tigers? Why is Lester a Colts fan? Why would anyone be a Cubs fan? Why is Grump a Steelers fan? Why is Ace an Eagles, Spurs, and White Sox asshole? Yes, I do want to know more about you all here. Don't take this for granted. This will probably be the last time that I show any interest in you.


Grumpy said...

I became a Steelers fan the day they drafted Ben. Now I'm in for life. And Harp was the best player on those Cavs teams and I'll never forgive Wayne Embry for trading him to the Clips. I used to sit at home and listen to Joe Tait broadcast the Cavs games. When Harp left, my heart went with him. Five rings later, I think we did well.

Mr. Ace said...

Dustin really is a cock smoker.

Well, I became a Spurs fan because of David Robinson...who doesn't love the Admiral?

I became a White Sox fan because of The Big Hurt. I didn't know at the time how much of a fuck he was.

I became an Eagles fan because of Randall Cunningham. And Buddy Ryan was fucking awesome...I think I was 5 when he coached his last game for the Eagles. And watching Irvin get carted off the field at the Vet serenaded by boos sealed the deal.

How much money did you lose last night on the pro bowl?

GMoney said...

Did not wager on it.

I am noticing a trend that you two picked your teams based on players and nothing to do with franchise history or organizational structure. Interesting.

Anonymous said...

I became a Dodgers fan bsaed on that Darryl Strawberry was my favorite player when he played for them. I then liked Piazza so I stuck with the Dodgers.

I am a Falcons fan in football because Deon Sanders played for them back in the day. Hell I have an Eric Metcalf jersey with the falcons.

I became a Blues fan because I used them in NHL 92 OR 94 on sega and kicked my brothers ass.

I became a Michigan fan because my odler brother was and I had to be opposite of my middle brother.

The NBA is a horseshhit league that is boring to watch. No team here.

Naptown Wolverine

Anonymous said...

I like the teams that my dad likes (Tigers, Browns, Buckeyes). Nobody outside NW Ohio can understand how I could like that combination.

You can thank me for not playing cards saturday. Your wallet would be much lighter.


GMoney said...

"I like Mike Piazza"...even Bruno finds that ridiculously queer.

Roger can get fucked because he has some explaining to do then.

Mr. Ace said...

Of course we picked our teams based on players...I was fucking 6. I didn't even know what a franchise or organizational structure was. I don't think anybody picked their teams based on franchise history when they were 6. Unless they were traitors who switched teams 5 times...Lange comes to mind when I think of that.

Tony B. said...

I was born in Chicago, my parents like the Cubs, Bears and Bulls. 2 of the 3 were made easy when I was a kid because of 6 NBA Championships, Super Bowl XX, and the Super Bowl Shuffle. The Cubs were not always easy to root for, but going to Wrigley so many times ingrained Cubs fandom in me.

My hockey team has been in flux recently as I wanted to take the Sharks as my team last year, but that was solely based on the fact Jeremy Roenick was on the team (my favorite player growing up.) Of course, now the Blackhawks are good and I find myself still rooting for them over the Sharks in head to head competition, so it's Chicago in a clean sweep.

I don't really have any college teams- UC Davis barely qualifies as a DI program.

Anonymous said...

I like the Browns, because my Grandpa and my dad were both browns fans growing up. So that made it easy to start liking them.

I like the Indians, because my Grandpa got me interested in baseball and was a huge tribe fan.

I did not really pay much attention to NBA until the Lebron era. Since then, it has been easy to like the team, because of both geographical convenience and Lebron.

In the NHL, I did not pay much attention to hockey until I actually went to my first game at Nationwide with glass seats. AWESOME! Ever since then, I keep tabs on the Blue Jackets, but do not religiously watch.

Now, for Ohio State. If there was anything I could say I was born as, it was a Buckeye. My Grandpa went there, my mother went there, my two uncles went there, some other relatives went there. My grandpa has been a season ticket holder since the early 1950s, so I went to countless games before I began going there in 2003. I am a third generation Buckeye and damn proud of it. There was really no other choice for where I would go to school.

One other thing I would like to point out is this. Whenever I asked the people who influenced my fandom why they liked the teams, they all said because you have to root for your hometown team (Also, you cannot root for anything from Michigan). So I also strongly believe in rooting for teams based on geography.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

I became a Tigers fans, because of living in Michigan. Plus I went to alot of games at Tiger Stadium, and eventually became a season ticket holder.

I became a Colts fan on October 31, 1987, when Eric Dickerson was traded from the Rams (who I still follow as well), and E.D. was my favorite player of all-time.

I became a Bulls fan, because of Michael Jordan being drafted by them, and MJ was a UNC Tar Heel, and I became of fan of UNC the night they beat Georgetown in 1982.

I became a Blackhawks fan, when I was following the Bulls early on, and Ed Belfour, and Jeremy Roenick, was fun to watch, and to this day, they still have the best uniforms in sports history.

As stated earlier, I became a fan of UNC in 1982 when Jordan hit the jumper to beat G-town.


Pre 1982, I followed:

Los Angeles Rams, while watching them lose to the Steelers in the Super Bowl..VINCE FERRAGAMO!!! And then they drafted 1983.


Jeff said...

Ohio State because I grew up going to all the games with my dad and now he lets me have his season tickets.

Red Sox because I went to Fenway to see a couple games when I was in middle school and have been a fan ever since.

Steelers because one of my best friends growing up was a steelers fan and every sunday I would go to his house and watch the steelers games because his parents had directv sunday ticket.

I'm not really a fan of the Cavs, but more a fan of Lebron.

Upstate Underdog said...

Being from NY and going to my first Yankees game in 1978 made my choice of being a Yankees fan easy. Started rooting for the Bills. again because they play in NY, and they have a Buffalo on the side of their helmet.

Also, a Sabres fan.

Anonymous said...

Im obviously a University of Kentucky fan because I born in Lexington and also went to school there. If you have ever lived in Lexington you will understand what UK hoops is all about and why they are the greatest college basketball program ever. Yes UCLA does have more championships, but UK has a longer history of winning and the most wins of all time.

Tribe, Browns, and Cavs fan because I have lived in northeast ohio most all my life.

I am also a Reds fan becuase my dad lived in Lexington for 25 years, and when I would go down to visit every summer we would go to numerous Reds games. I watched Eric Davis hit for the cycle and Pete Rose and the big red machine are fucking awesome.


Anonymous said...

Reds- Started following baseball in 1990 they went wire to wire and swept the A's. So you could say I am a front runner but have followed them religiously since. Now I follow them as much to listen to Marty Brenneman on the radio. Yes I follow a team for their radio play by play guy.

Bengals because they were from Cincinnati, decided to keep a city loyalty. And they drafted Dan Wilkinson.

Now learning this is a very difficult city to root for.

Ohio State- Dad graduated from there saw my first game when I was three. It was the shoeless Keith Byars game. And graduated from there and witnessed 2003 National Championship game.


Anonymous said...

Also, on the Reds as a fellow Rec Specs wearer. Who could not root for Chris Sabo.


jessegscott said...

Ive been a Cubs fan for as long as I can remember baseball. You had the Cubs o WGN with the best Drunk Broadcsster of all time Harry Caray. Then you had the Brves on TBS. I loved Harry Caray.. and Steve Stone. It just didn't matter in those days. Win or Lose. It seemed the fans were having a ball. Ryne Sandberg became my favorite player of all time. To go with other great cubs in my young days.. Maddux, Dawson, Grace, Dunston, They were the Lovable Losers.. And I guess I just latched on to be one of them. I still vow they will win a WS before I die!

Ekali81 said...

Buffalo Bills because im from NY should have picked the Giants

Orlando Magic because i moved to orlando when i was 10and its the only sports team we have .

NY yankees again where im from

Florida State football because in florida u have to love college football and the first friend I met here lived and died with FSU so every saturday rooting for them for years i was a fan for life plus fuck UF and UM. I went to UCF so I have an allegiance to them too

Daniel said...

Wow, you got 3 loyal Buffalo Bills fans on this board. I believe I speak for all of us when I say Chan Gailey = Super Bowl!

Tony B. said...

@ jessegscott - I hope you're right about the Cubs winning a WS! Harry Carey was the best. I hope he was as tanked as I thought he was during this commercial:

Ekali81 said...

Daniel there is nothing good about chan gailey

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