Friday, February 12, 2010
So word is leaking out that the Big Ten wants Texas to be Team #12 in what will still probably be referred to as the Big Ten. Makes sense. I mean, Texas most definitely is a midwestern state. The University of Cairo is geographically closer than fucking Austin. Let me make this easier for you all, Texas doesn't need the Big Ten. They don't care about the money. They don't want to make trips to Wisconsin in November. They barely recruit outside of their own borders anyway and that seems to be working just fine for them.
In fact, since I bug Jim Delaney's phone, I was able to transcribe the conversation that he had with Mack Brown about this potential expansion. As you will see, his sales pitch could use some work.
Mack Brown: [in Mexico, he answers the phone] Hello?
Jim Delaney: Mack Brown, this is Jim Delaney of the Big Ten. How would you like to play with us this season.
Mack Brown: What?
Jim Delaney: We would surely like to...
Mack Brown: [interrupting] Is that you, Tolbert? Look, I'm hung over, my knees are killing me, and if you're gonna pull this shit at least you can say you're from the SEC.
It ain't happ'nin'. Try again, Jim Delaney. Maybe you should set your sights a little lower next time. How about Florida? DeVry? Alabama? The Pennsylvania Culinary Institute? USC? Idiot. Quit wasting everyone's time with pointless rumors. Texas isn't going to go down a notch in competition and piss off their entire fan base just for a few extra bucks.
My apologies for the short post today but I figured it could at least give us some decent discussion today. And after Dut complimented me on my fine writing yesterday, I deserve a mail-in post. I had another big post planned but I didn't want to over-exert myself this week (it will probably come Monday instead and features a nice quip about retards!). Have a good weekend. Look for me at the Canucks/Blue Jackets game tonight. I will be the drunk guy who falls from the upper deck crushing 13-14 hockey fans with my sexy, Amber Bock-soaked girth.