Monday, January 04, 2010

The Worst Of Week Seventeen Vol.III


I have no excuse here. That was, BY FAR, the worst day of NFL action I have ever seen in my life. There was not one compelling game. Not one. Playoff teams gave up, the weather sucked, good teams were terrible, and it seemed like every game was a blowout. Even the games that ended up being close were rotten. It was embarrassing. And the NFL should absolutely do something about it. If teams want to sit their healthy best players, they should be suspended. How dare they fucking ruin my Sunday with the Brunell's, Painter's and Leinart's of the world. This is inexcusable. FUCK YOU, GOOD TEAMS. I hope they all lose in the postseason (which would mean a Packers/Ravens Super Bowl...which I could live with). Worst of the week followed by an extremely angry fantasy football rant.

5. The New York Giants - That was one hell of a mail-in job over the last two weeks. That was Cowboys-esque. It takes a special kind of shitty to make January Favre look good.

4. Wes Welker - Nice knee, asshole. I'm sure that Patriots fans are pissed that they actually have to root for a black WR now.

3. The Kyle Orton Express - Don't underestimate The Express. No one looks worse in losses than him. Derrick Johnson does not play for the Broncos which is odd since he had two touchdown catches from KO. Looks as though Denver will be drafting Homo Clausen in the first round. Yeah, good luck with that.

2. Carson Palmer/Donovan McNabb - 1 for 11, ZERO yards in two quarters. I like to think that he was benched for being terrible as opposed to being "rested". The Bengals are NOT GOOD. I can't say this enough. They can't move the ball at all. Out of all the first round games, which home team losing would you bet your balls on? Dallas may suck, but they aren't the Bengals. The Cardinals and Patriots are OK, but I trust them more than the Bengals. The Jets are going to beat them again. Donovan better get his shit together next week. The Cowboys need to be silenced.

1. Fantasy Football Fortune - For the second year in a row, I made the Super Bowl in one of my fantasy leagues. Man, I had a sick ass team this year. With Brees, Rice, Thomas Jones, Colston, Ocho, Sims-Walker, and Shiancoe, it seemed like a sure bet that I would reach the promised land. But the fantasy Gods truly enjoy pooping on my chest. Let me explain:
*Why in the fuck did the Saints not try to win yesterday. Now they go into the playoffs not having solved any of their issues and have not won a game in over a month. Sitting Brees? Why? How many times does he actually get hit? And playing Brunell makes Colston an easy bench guy for me. Thanks, Sean Payton, for being selfish and putting your own needs ahead of mine. Fucking prick. I hope a hurricane destroys your house.
*Why in the fuck are the Titans not even trying to throw the ball? I had to start Vince Young instead. I knew that they would give CJ his share but this is the Seahawks and they are abysmal. They didn't even TRY to throw the ball. All I wanted was one fucking touchdown. JUST ONE. Chris Johnson is sick whether he hits 2000 yards or not. A number isn't going to change anyone's opinion about him. But no, let's run the ball 800 times and say that a 4 point win over Seattle is good enough. Well fuck you.
*Why in the fuck is Willis McGahee even playing! He SUUUUUUCKS. Somehow, he racked up 15 touchdowns this year. You know who is good and is one of the 5 best RB's in football? Ray fucking Rice. GIVE HIM THE FUCKING BALL! This makes no sense to me. McGahee has barely done anything over the past 6 weeks yet Harbaugh decides that THIS week would be a good time for a 167 yard, 3 touchdown game. Well eat my shit, John. Of course, douchebag Damman actually starts this guy this week because he has no other choice which helps him garner his second straight G$FL title. FUCK!

Look, I play fantasy football for the title. I don't care about the money. I like to think that I play for the right reason. It sucks losing in the finals. Sure, I could be a loser like commenter Drew and lose my first playoff game every year, but I don't. I go for the crown. And I'm sick of these fucking shithead coaches going by their own rules and sticking it up my ass every year. Bastards.

At least Jim Zorn is getting fired today. Let's get the playoffs started now.


Upstate Underdog said...

fantasy football play-offs in week 17 is wack.

Tony B. said...

I agree UU. Push the final game up a week to week 16 and it would be better.

Kyle Orton amazingly threw for 400+ yards. When I saw that stat on the ESPNews bottom line, I did a double take and then wondered if they counted INT yards returned for touchdowns within that stat.

GMoney said...

All leagues are different. I like anything that makes Peyton Manning less valuable.

rstiles said...

The NFL sucked yesterday...all these playoff teams tanked their games...

What was that shit last night...37-0...what the fuck!!!!

This is why the NFL sucks cock!!!

Anonymous said...


GMoney said...

A Chargers fan? Here? Go lick Norv Turner's face grooves.

SSReporters said...

New fantasy tip: For as long as Matt Hasselbeck is a starting QB, please start the opposition's defense.

That's worth at least 3 sacks and 2 INTs.

Anonymous said...

At least norv turner knows how to win