Friday, January 22, 2010

The Weekend For Depressed Fanbases

(GEAUX SAINTS! GEAUX NIPPLES AND UNDERBOOB!)

For as bad as the NFL playoffs have been through two rounds, there is one fact that I can't get away from. To me, these appear to be the four best teams in the NFL. Yes, they each have flaws but I don't care. These four teams are playing extremely well and they better fucking deliver some quality games on Sunday. Think about the four teams remaining. The Vikings have never won shit. The Saints have historically been horrendous. The Jets are the football Mets in that they are more destructive than productive and make their fans want to kill themselves. Hell, eventhough the Colts are good, let's not forget that they've only won one asterisk Super Bowl during this run and usually get upset at home in an embarrassing fashion. These fanbases get shit on every year and one of them will finally get to hold their heads up high. Which is why you should be rooting against the Colts. They have theirs already. This playoffs is for all the loser franchises out there. The people of Cleveland and Buffalo and Seattle and San Diego and Atlanta should all be rallying around these 3 putrid teams out of hope that one day, YOUR loser team can get it done.

And Colts fans have become obnoxious assholes. Don't believe me? Read the comments on any KSK post and see for yourself. They need to be silenced. Who would you rather have try to do that than the increasingly awesome, Rex Ryan? Speaking of which, how about some picks?

New York Jets (+7.5) @ Indianapolis (39)
-I can not wait for this game. What the fuck does Dyslexy Rexy have in store for Peyton? He beat the shit out of Palmer and Rivers and now he gets the big dog. And that's where I get a little nervous. The number for the Jets is 20. That is probably the max amount of points that they have in them. So, in essence, they need to hold the Colts under 20 points in their barn. That's going to be tough. You can forget about Reggie Wayne. He isn't going to do shit. So can the Colts make it to the Super Bowl with Collie and Garcon catching all the passes? Those two are going to need to make plays. I don't know if they will. One thing that I do know is that Shonn Greene is a stud and if he gets 100 yards, the Jets are going to win. Interesting note that I heard somewhere this week, the Jets have covered the last 8 road games that they played. Don't gloss over that. All that being said, I'm on the bandwagon now. With all the emphasis on the passing games in the regular season, in the postseason, stick-it-up-your-ass football still reigns supreme. I am a believer. The Jets are going to do it. Jets 23, Colts 19 (OVER)

Minnesota (+3.5) @ New Orleans (52.5)
-The AFC game has been getting most of the headlines this week but this one has the chance to be great. Who doesn't want to watch a game between two teams that can hang 40 points up? The Vikes are awesome because they ran up the score on Dallas. I expect them to catch at least one break due to that great decision last week. It worries me that Peterson can't run the ball anymore. This has been going on for 6 weeks now. If the Vikings can get to Brees, I like their odds. If they don't, they will lose by two touchdowns. It's that simple. I'm amazed at how little love the Saints are getting. Personally, beating the shit out of Arizona is just as impressive as beating the shit out of Dallas. Whisenhunt and Warner are actually good. Reggie Bush is playing like a guy looking to get some money from an agent. The Superdome is a true homefield advantage, too. The Saints are a much different team at home with those drunken idiots going apeshit for three hours. Almost everyone that I've heard this week likes the Vikings...I do not. There is no fucking way that a moron like Brad Childress is going to coach in a Super Bowl. Please, Will Smith, break Brett Favre's leg. It will be a good game with the Saints pulling away in the 4th. Saints 30, Vikings 21 (UNDER)

There you go. I'm betting on a Jets/Saints Super Bowl in Miami. That means that we will probably get a fucking Favre/Pey-Pey nauseating media-fest. Ugh, that would suck. Make your picks in the comments. Standings are below:

6-2: Drew, Li'l Strut
5-3: GMoney, Grumpy,
4-4: Naptown Wolverine, Jeff, Dut, Tony B
3-5: Upstate Underdog, Mr. Ace (who wanted you to moneyline Baltimore and Dallas last week), Andrew
2-6: Damman, Hoffman

Enjoy the games. Gamble wisely. Definitely make sure you have some sort of cheesy dip handy. I recommend Scoops to go with it. Scoops are quite possibly the best invention ever.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Colts / Over
Vikings / Over

Naptown Wolverine

Grumpy said...

Colts/under
Saints/under

Jeff said...

J.E.T.S Jets Jets Jets/ Under
Wrangler Jeans and Pain killers/ Under

Anonymous said...

My followers...

I have won you tons of money through the bowl season and the NFL Playoffs. Time to win more money...

*Colts/Over

*Saints/Over

Please send me porno after you win a ton of money with these picks.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Colts/over
Saints/under

-Damman

GMoney said...

Herm Edwards just picked the Jets and Vikings so expect the Colts and Saints to roll.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dustin said...

Chinese Japanese look at these!

I took the Jets to win with 4-1 odds.. Bet 20 to win 80! If you guys want easy money just call up "funguy"

Jets under
Taints over

PS- I took down my 3rd tourney last night (out of 5). I think we all know who the best player at Sussex is.

GMoney said...

I have never played in a tourney that you won. And if you are counting a "win" as the time that you and Funch split, you are gayer than I even thought.

Anyone disappointed with the Jersey Shore finale last night? I was left wanting more. The host of that reunion show was fucking retarded.

Greg said...

Dut is counting a win from the time he split with Funchion. But alas, he is a fan of the school where Gordon Gee once proclaimed the 13-13 tie with Michigan in 1992 was one of the greatest victories in OSU history...so I guess we can forgive him.

-GSaul

Mr. Ace said...

I've got a feeling the Jets are going to pull of the win, which makes me very happy because I am going the exact opposite of Drew.

JETS/Under
Vikings/Under

Jersey Shore sucked balls last night. I didn't watch the after show because I'm not as gay as you.

GMoney said...

Since you didn't watch the reunion, I will let you know that The Situation hooked up with 33 girls during the course of the show apparently. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Ace....go flip a bar stool upside down and take a seat.

G$...It was a bit disappointing, although I did like the Situation flirting with the young girl and the beach. It would have been much better if The Situation smooshed Snooki. I think you should make a blog next week of your favorite ten moments of the season. There would be some great debate. The Reunion show is on my DVR...I'll perv it out soon enough.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Drew, I get all hot and bothered when you talk about me getting things shoved up my ass. You devil, you.

One my reason to pick the Vikings:

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/sports/prince-reveals-song-for-vikings-saints-game

Tony B. said...

Jets / Under
Saints / Over

Ronnie told Sammie off last night during the reunion show- hilarious! It probably was staged, but I could help to be entertained by it.

Anonymous said...

Jets under
Saints over

Andrew

Anonymous said...

Colts/under
Saints/under

GMoney said...

Thanks, anonymous, for making your picks anonymously like an asshole.

Anonymous said...

Colts/Over
Saints/Under

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ioulia said...

I have never played in a tourney that you won. And if you are counting a "win" as the time that you and Funch split, you are gayer than I even thought. Anyone disappointed with the Jersey Shore finale last night? I was left wanting more. The host of that reunion show was fucking retarded.