Monday, January 04, 2010
Pretty shitty weekend. On the drive back to Columbus on New Year's morning, I had to pull over and have the wife drive as I was still drunk and was more than certain that if I had stayed behind the wheel, we would both be dead right now. About ten minutes after the switch, I asked She$ to pull over in a cemetery for some good old-fashioned dry heaving. I really wanted to vomit away all the bad decisions from the night before, but nothing came. Then I had to see Mr. Ace. Then I had to listen to Dut talk about spraining his ankle on the dance floor. Then I saw the Blue Jackets lose a head-scratcher to the Avs on Saturday night. Then the Redskins couldn't even beat the Goddamned Chargers scout team. It sucked. It was the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
But there was one saving grace. One shining beacon of light in an otherwise dreary and gloomy weekend. One final glimpse of greatness from a man who always brightens our day.
Thank you, Tim Tebow. Thank you very much. Did you WATCH that butt-raping on Friday night? Holy shit. The final chapter in the Tebow/Florida story was out-fucking-standing. I think his completion percentage was over 100%. 500 some yards. An annihilation the likes of which an undefeated team does not often receive. That was epic. UC was a fraud all season long. They kept getting lucky and kept on winning, but Tim Tebow had seen enough. He would not allow the bogus charade to continue. Oh no. It was time for him to remind everyone that he is the best college football player of the decade and that UC is UC (not a good football program).
Now here is what I don't get. Why is everyone so quick to write him off as an NFL QB? I would take him over 6-8 of the guys who started this week. Just because he has a strange release that automatically means he's going to suck. Have you seen Philip Rivers throw a football? He throws like a girl. But it gets there. Now, I'm not guaranteeing NFL success for Tebow, but I'm not stupid enough to already call him a bust. And if you are already, you are a fucking retard.
The Rose Bowl was played, too. Don't worry, you won't remember who won in a week anyway. I don't remember anything about the game because I think someone slipped cocaine in my sloppy joe. I'm not pointing fingers here...actually, yes I am. Terrelle Pryor is still a loser. Keep telling yourselves that he isn't. I think it's funny.