Wednesday, January 27, 2010
This post is going to rub many of you the wrong way. I know this. But sometimes, things need to be said no matter how unpopular it might be. And today, I am going to ruffle some feathers. I live in Big Ten Country. In the middle of this "country", is the capital of dickheads. Let's call this place, Asshole City, or "Columbus" as it is sometimes referred to as. Here, we are beaten over the head with delusions that the Big Ten is a good conference in every sport. Most of us know better. Some of us are just the by-product of generation after generation of inbreeding.
Anyway, Buckeye basketball player, Evan Turner, is widely regarded as a stud baller around here. It's hard to argue against that, too. Hard, but not impossible. Today, I plan on doing the impossible. I plan on making you a believer that Evan Turner is overrated. Many NBA Draft gurus having him going 2nd or 3rd this year. It is my job today to convince you that he shouldn't even be taken in the first round. Now before blood comes shooting out of your eyes and ears out of anger, Buckeye fan, here me out:
*He gets pushed around by guys who play physical - He is a finesse player who does not like to get his nose dirty.
*He is a better scorer than he is a shooter - He won't be able to drive that easily in the pro's and his jump shot needs a lot of work.
*He needs to improve his range and consistency - Guards are expected to make 3's in the Association and he needs to learn to hit that shot consistently.
*His success at taking it to the rack will likely prevent him from working on his stroke.
*He sucked in the NCAA tourney loss to Siena - Not a clutch player.
*Still has an issue with turnovers - Just too careless
*He doesn't use screens well - He is a one on one player which is good if you want to play for the Knicks, not good if you want to play for a decent team.
*He is injury prone - What sort of pussy breaks his back against a shitty team like EMU?
*Evan is a pussy name - It will never be as gay as Ethan though. You just know that someone named Evan is soft. It's just science.
With all that being said, I would not take Turner in the first round. There are just too many question marks surrounding him. With the injuries, turnovers, poor shooting stroke, lack of performing in the clutch, and faggot name, you can't take a guy like this high in the draft and expect him to be a superstar and franchise player. You just can't do it. I wouldn't touch Evan Turner with Greg Oden's dick.
Come on...I don't believe a word that you just read other than "Evan" being an extremely gay name. Turner is going to be a stud. He has a game like Dwyane Wade (don't even get me started on all the fucked-up whistles that he gets in his favor though...I LOATHE Wade). He is going to be just fine. Eventhough everyone who has come from anOSU has played below expectations since Jimmy Jackson, Turner should change that. He's no John Wall, but he's going to be a heck of a consolation prize to the team that misses out on Wall. For what it's worth though, all of my bullet points are considered Turner's weaknesses by draft sites. I don't follow the game close enough to get all that shit.
So why did I write this post, you ask? Well, I like to get under the skin of anOSU fans. That is always enjoyable. But basically, I just wanted to know what it felt like to be Skip Bayless for a day. It was pretty much like I thought it was going to be...shitty. You know, by being the voice of the wrong side of an argument and digging myself into a bigger hole with each sentence of horseshit that flows from cock-storage of a mouth. It does not feel good. I don't know how he does it. If I were him, I would have killed myself a long time ago.
I hate Skip Bayless.