Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Drama Is Over For Me

(Jim Brown had yet to beat his wife with an autographed Sports Illustrated...cross that off your bucket list, Jim! COM'EER GIRL!)

Now that we are officially done talking about college football here (finally), it is time to move on. Scanning the headlines though, there doesn't seem to be much to discuss. There does happen to be a highly intriguing LeBron/Kobe game tonight and I rarely talk about the NBA anymore so let's spend the day discussing some hoops. Yesterday, Bill Simmons decided to actually do what he is paid by ESPN to do and wrote an article about LeBron (he will probably need a vacation after his whole TWO columns this week). I am a Bron homer and defender and even I had to roll my eyes at how dick-sucking that article was. Jesus, that is the fluffiest of all fluff pieces. We get it. He's a freak athlete who can do whatever he wants.

And while LeBron came out a few months ago saying that he was done talking about his potential free agency this summer (which he has shockingly stuck to), that didn't stop Simmons from speculating about it. If you listen to his podcasts, Simmons wonders about this ALL THE TIME. Even Jim Brown was asked about this recently. I have no idea why his opinion was sought out regarding this matter, but Mr. Stupid Hat thinks that he should stay in Cleveland. Shut up, Jim Brown.

Anyway, let's just put an end to the drama now. LeBron is going nowhere. It just doesn't make any sense to leave right now. The Cavs can give him the most years and more money than anyone else and the team doesn't care about paying the luxury tax. He may only pick up his player option for next year, but he isn't leaving yet. The summer of '10 will end up being a disappointment. Why am I so confident? There are only five teams who have positioned themselves to be a player this summer. They are the Bulls, Heat, Nets, Clippers, and Knicks. And here is why none of those franchises make sense for Our King.

Bulls - Why would LeBron, who is trying to not be the next MJ but the first LBJ, go to the city in which he could never live up to the past? That would be stupid. He could win 5 rings in Chicago and he would still play second fiddle to Jordan (excellent hillbilly analogy, G$). Forget the Bulls, they are going to go after Bosh anyway.

Heat - Teaming up with Wade's wheelchair would lead to some boner-inducing basketball for sure. But Bron seems like a guy who needs to do this as the clear-cut leader of a team. Having two alpha dogs on the same team usually doesn't work out anyway. And the Heat play in front of empty arenas. Bosh would be a better fit here, too. Yes, I am assuming that Wheelchair stays.

Nets - Who gives a fuck if Bron is friends with Jay-Z? Who makes career decisions based on where their friends are? The Nets are 3 and fucking 37 this year. Why would any sane person go from the best team in the league (the Cavs are) to quite possibly the worst team of all time? Living in New Jersey is about the only place worse than Cleveland, too.

Clippers - They have money to spend. They have good young players. It is LA and could help that whole "global icon" nonsense. But this is historically the worst run organization in all of sports. The owner is just awful. And do you really think that a superstar like LeBron would go to a city where he would be playing second fiddle (there's that hayseed analogy again!) to the Lakers? Absolutely not.

Knicks - Ah yes, the "lure" of New York. Forget the fact that it is a horribly run franchise or that he would have to play with Darko and Eddy Curry, how can anyone resist the Knicks! Even with LeBron, they aren't a playoff team. Hell, they are a good three years away from being a contender. Does the best player on the planet want to wait three more years before getting another shot at a ring? With the salary cap going down exponentially after this year, it is unrealistic to get Bron and Bosh to NY. It just isn't going to happen. Mike D'Antoni has proven that his system does not lead to championships.

So, again, why would he leave a good situation that he already has? Dan Gilbert is willing to spend his ass off for him. For the second straight year, they have the best team in the league. He appears to be tight with his teammates. The city of Cleveland would take a trombone up the ass for him. It just doesn't make sense to leave. He is already arguably the most famous athlete in the country. Here's the thing: I could handle him leaving the Cavs if he were walking into a better scenario than what Ferry and Gilbert have in front of him (like say, signing with a team like Portland). But there isn't one. So if he were to move on this Summer, it would be for purely selfish reasons that would make him a villain in his hometown and around the country. Because it sure as hell wouldn't be about winning NBA titles. And you can't be a global icon when the world sees you as a me-first scumbag.

As I said at the beginning, I'm not worried. I truly do enjoy watching the Cavs play every night and I'm going to continue to for the rest of the season. This current team may win a title or they might not. But I am 100% sure that The King will be still wearing the wine and gold for the 2010-2011 season.

And if he isn't, then consider this part one of my suicide letter. If you hated this post because you are an asshole, enjoy this courtesy of MuDawg. Yeah, it's Icebox O'Shea from Little Giants all grown up and doing a softcore sex scene. Who's your boy?


Mr. Ace said...

If he wants to win a title he has to leave Cleveland...titles simply aren't allowed to be won in Cleveland.

Lebron could make any team in the East a playoff's the fucking east.

GMoney said...

Those are both decent arguments but just making the playoffs isn't a goal.

As far as your first point goes, I'm not fully ingrained with loser Cleveland fan DNA yet, so call me naive for thinking that the Cavs can end the drought (and are the only chance that city has for the next decade-plus).

Grumpy said...

I think your analysis is spot on. Unless he leaves, in which case I'll be the first to call you an idiot.

Anonymous said...

G$...If he does bolt and you do kill yourself. Any ideas as to how you would go about it? I'd be willing to help, as long as it's in a way that leaves no evidence.


GMoney said...

I would likely hang myself with my LeBron t-shirt. I don't think I would need any help with that. Unless you want to provide a nice chair for me to stand on.

KPietsch said...

Is Wade's contract up this year? If so, I could see the Bulls making a run at him.

GMoney said...

Yeah, he's a free agent, too. It will be hard to get someone off of South Beach though.

Nate B. said...

G$, let me watch your hanging so I can be a WITNESS.

Anonymous said...

If you hung yourself in a LeBron shirt, I would then think of you as my own personal Jesus. I'd take it as a sacrifice for everything that you beleive in sports and then start a cult where we lived our lives through the beliefs of G$.


Tony B. said...

I can't see him leaving at this point with those options. However, I do think the Knicks would be better than you think if they added LeBron.

Anonymous said...

I think there is a certain LBT that objects to Lebron using LBJ.


Anonymous said...

Great reference Hoffman!