Tell the Fuckeyes not to walk your way
Tell the Fuckeyes that Tressel ain’t shit
And you mean
What you say
Can you love A-Rod for life?
Keep your gay thoughts from your brand new wife?
G Money! Gonna tell you some truth tonightKobe’s better than LeBronG Money!You’re about to seal your fateBut if you wanna drink Crown with meI can show you what its likeTill you’re pukingYou’re about to seal your fate
And if you wanna drink Crown with meI can show you what its-G Money! Tell Albert H. not to spike my face
The ‘Skins ain’t winning the NFC EastG Money!
G Money! LeBron is confiscating tapes Cleveland’s chances are going up in flamesG Money!
You’re about to seal your fate
And if you wanna find hell in lifeMarriage can show you what its likeTill your p-whippedYou’re about to seal your fateAnd if you wanna find hell in lifeMarriage can show you what its-Yea
2. This is the worst case of writers block that Ive ever had. Why? Because I cant think of a single thing that Ill miss about this asshole! G$ is everything that I hate:
1. Yankees fan
2. Anti-Ohio State
3. Anti- Browns
4. Anti- Tigers
5. NBA fan
Now that I think about it, I dont even know why I read this shit. I think I will miss She$ more. She was one of my roommates for the past 8 months. I will miss her cooking, keeping the house spotless, folding my laundry when its in the dryer (instead of peeing on it or burning it like my old roommates would),her cooking, and not getting too pissed when I roll in at 3:00 AM on a drunken Saturday night with a car full of chicks ready to get naked in the hot tub/my bedroom. Yes, I said cooking twice because shes damn good. If G$ isnt 400 lbs by this time next year its because he has aids.
Actually, I will miss G$s depressing posts after his teams get throttled in the playoffs (see October 2006 when the Tigers murdered the Yankees who had the greatest lineup ever). I will also miss his ruthless jokes after a horrible tragedy. You will be missed, G$ (kind of). In all seriousness- good luck. The blogosphere isnt the same without you.
I have seen good men, who also had the same traits, change as they were gripped by the wretched limbs of wedlock...I saw friends and co-workers change from men to apron wearing metrosexuals...a friend of mine has given up drinking and fantasy football because of the bonds of wedlock...I see a similar fate for the great G$...soon he will be giving up his blog...not cheering for the Redskins...and losing interest in fantasy football...eventually sex will become a thing of the past...
In 10 years you will be a bald, fat fella who has to go to soccer practice with your kid on a Saturday afternoon in the fall instead of watching a monster college football game -- then drive in your mini-van and pick-up the other snotty nosed brat from piano lessons just to get home in time to make dinner -- and at the end of the day, you will be too tired to have your monthly sex session with your wife...
So I bid you adieu G$ - to the man that you are today...a good man, a man's man...God Bless You...