Monday, December 07, 2009

The Worst Of Week Thirteen Vol.III

If you expect this to be a giant "woe is me" post, you sir, are in luck. Remember when I told you all that the Saints were in trouble this week? I was exactly right but I don't feel good about it. It just means that I know more about football than you. I am raging pissed off right now. I feel like my football teams (even the bandwagon ones) never catch any breaks. Hell, even when things are going good, here comes a couple of Mexicans to gun down our best player. But help me out with these things that Carl Jeffers does not understand: on an interception, when the defender falls on top of the receiver, is he not down? Or when a receiver's arm hits the ground and then he fumbles, is he not down? The referees in DC just threw out the fucking rulebook yesterday. Look, the Saints are good enough, they don't need to get absolutely wrong calls thrown their way, too. That was absolute horseshit. Fucking highway robbery. And if you think I'm done with this game, you would be incorrect.

It rivals the pussies in college football making TCU play Boise State. THAT'S PUSSY SHIT. No one wants to see an underdog play an underdog. And why the fuck is Iowa going to the Orange Bowl??? I hate college football. They could fuck up a wet dream. Ugh, shitty performances from yesterday:

5. Bill Belichick - What the hell is going on with this team? They look disorganized and bored. There is no excuse to let Chad Henne's forehead flab march down the field for a game-winning field goal. None. And now the Pats are 7-5. 5 losses? We have been made to believe that Belichick is some sort of genius and that he is smarter than everyone else. And now he is losing games because he can't figure out how to stop Davone Bess and Brian Hartline. I'll say one thing though: he and his team losing two games in 6 days is out-fucking-standing because they are a bunch of douchebags. Stop mailing it in, Bill.

4. Atlanta fans - Hopefully, MUDawg can weigh in on this because I want answers. WHY THE FUCK WAS THE GEORGIA DOME CHEERING MIKE VICK YESTERDAY!!! He set the organization on fire. He flipped off the fans. He chose killing dogs over dominating football. Why was he given a standing o? Even on his touchdowns, they cheered for him. He doesn't play for the Falcons anymore! Southerners are always said to be dumber than the rest of the country and that stereotype may actually be true. Shame on them. They should be embarrassed for rooting for a non-Falcon. The Eagles still suck helmet.

3. Wade Phillips/Tony Romo - It's December. You know what that means? The annual Cowboys collapse has begun!!! I'm looking forward to this years. I found it very amusing that Wade came out last week saying that he wants more respect from the media. Well, bumpkin, maybe if you weren't a country-fried idiot and not the worst head coach in football, you may get some love. And is it just me or is Marion Barber not that good anymore? He fumbles every freaking game it seems. I love it though...the Cowboys awful December is always a great moment in this country.

2. The Steelers "Defense" - They have now lost to the Chiefs AND the Raiders in the past 3 weeks. What is wrong with this team? It's the defense. You can't let a terrible fucking QB like Bruce the dumb Pollack own your ass in the 4th quarter...AT HOME. Come on, white trash. By the way, how about the brutal home losses at Heinz Field this weekend. Ouch. But you know what, Pittsburgh deserves the bad luck. I'm tired of watching better organizations than mine win. It should be the shitty teams that do all the winning dammit! Speaking of shitty teams, the Redskins are at the Raiders next week. God help us all. But back to the Steelers for a minute, it is not the offense's fault. The defense has been rotten recently. James Harrison must have stopped raping women. He needs to start doing that again because I don't want the Broncos AND Jags ruining wild card weekend.

1. Shaun Suisham - Tony "Hypocrite" Dungy said last night that Suisham should be cut on Monday. I disagree. He should have been cut two weeks ago when he cost us a win in Dallas. How do you miss a fucking 23 yard field goal!!! I hate this fuck-up so much. I would rather have one of the Gramatica's. Anyway, I still can't figure out how the Skins lost that game. I will definitely lose sleep over this one. They fucking DOMINATED for 60 fucking minutes. I've got nothing bad to say about the Saints because when a team is willing to hand you a win, you should take it. And no one hands wins over on a weekly basis like the Redskins. Oh sure, we'll fight you hard, but we always beat ourselves. Like missing chippy field goals or deciding to not cover receivers that run deep routes. It's glorious. The Redskins are 3-9 and I know it's stupid to say this, but they aren't THAT bad. If they only shot themselves in the foot 60% of the time instead of their customary 100%, they might be 7-5 today. Doubtful but maybe. Jason Campbell has been surprisingly really good this year. Devin Thomas and Fred Davis are coming around. I could strangle LaRon Landry though. He needs to go. Just get a new fucking kicker, please. Hell, I'll do it. I can make a 23 fucking yarder.

My wife has started a rather annoying practice. She roots against my teams now. Out loud. It drives me fucking nuts and she knows it. I just glare at her all day long. Had the Redskins won yesterday, she would have not been able to talk to me for the rest of the night per our bet. Again, FUCK YOU, Shaun Suisham. I hope you get ass-AIDS. Save the BCS talk for tomorrow, I'm sure that Ace has a big post cooking.


Anonymous said...

A nice open hand slap to the face should get your wife to understand rooting against your teams is not acceptable. If this is deemed not enough, I recommend stepping up to a nice brass knuckle punch to the ribs. It's awful hard to cheer for the wrong teams when breathing is painful and difficult. Good luck, hope these marriage tips help.

GMoney said...

I was thinking about beating her with a bag of valencia oranges. They don't leave a bruise and it tells her who's boss. At least that's what Bing Crosby tells us.

MuDawgFan said...


First off -thanks for the great advice on the Redskins. Walked away $200 bucks richer because they covered yesterday. If I ever meet you in Oxford - your next Bagel and Deli sandwich is on me.

I was at the game yesterday to speak quite plainly - the overwhelming majoity of those cheering were African Americans who thought Vick was "wronged" by the Franchise. To summerize - most of these individuals wanted the Falcons to take 2007 and 2008 on the chin, load up on draft picks and welcome him back to the team with open arms when he returned. They claim he was a victim because of his race and that the drafting of Matt Ryan was a slap in the face to all black Atlantans. Most of the #7 jerseys in the crowd were worn by persons of color who loved the fact that the Eagles won despite the fact that it was McNabb and the Philly defense that won the game - not MV. It was an opportunity (albeit-a small one) to rail against the perceived white establisment and their money and the persons of color who were in attendence took advantage of it.
Despite the dick jokes and references to boobs - the majority of MoneyShot Blog readers are pretty inteligent - so they'll understand when I say that there is a significant gap in the way that most black Atlantans want the Falcons to be run vs. the way Artie Blank and Dimitroff are going to run the franchise. The team is going in the right direction - it's just hard for any team to win with 5 starters out with injury as the Falcons were on Sunday.

Bottom line - there are Vick fans in this town and Falcons fans. The Vick fans had a better day on Sunday, but the franchise is better that he (and his supporters) have moved on.

Mr. Ace said...

Were any of you really surprised that Vick got the ovation he did? That guy was a fucking superstar in Atlanta. Most people who see their hero go down in flames are quick to make excuses so they can still keep them up on that superstar pedestal. For a lot of ATL fans, their hero came home yesterday and they celebrated it.

ATL isn't exactly a great sports town so I'm not surprised...Can you imagine that shit happening in Philly? Or DC? Or NY?

Fly Eagles Fly!

GMoney said...

MuDawg, I'll take a Cool Jules, please!

Yeah, I figured that race was the real issue but didn't want to address not knowing firsthand what Falcons fans are like. Someone should remind these idiots that you root for the uniforms and not the man.

Anonymous said...

Three things....

*First...G$ have you caught this new show on MTV called "The Jersey Shore"? I haven't laughed that hard at TV in a while. It's basically a real world for dumb guidos and "guidettes". It's worth a look.

*Second....I enjoy the anonymous wife beater to start the comments. I hope he drops by all the time.

*Third....this comment from Peter King in his MMQB is just great..."To Raiders fans, Christmas just came early. Gradkowski's their new icon".


Anonymous said...

Drew, be prepared for an avalanche of Aaron Rodgers touchdown passes tonight.


GMoney said...

Drew, I have two shows currently taking up space on my DVR: WWII in HD and Jersey Shore.

JS is the worst best show I've ever seen. The one guy brought twenty bottles of hair gel with him. But my favorite line was by one of the whores:

"I am not selling t-shirts. I am a bartender. I create great things."

I recommend Jersey Shore to everyone. MTV on Thursdays.

Anonymous said...

Damman....Rodgers will be throwing touchdowns to Donald Driver...making him irrelevant.

G$...That was a good comment by that chick. She also said that selling t-shirts was "beneath" her.

But, obviously the best part of that show is the guy who has nicknamed himself "The Situation". I love how he thought he was going to get that girl and said, "The Situation never fails" and then she was just all over his roommate sending him into a rage and telling girls they need to lose weight.

"The worst best show I've ever seen" is a perfect description for it.

Clausen's going pro...have fun with him Browns fans.


Tony B. said...

Speaking of "worst best" shows ever- I saw a couple episodes of Lawman w/ Steven Seagal and that show is also classic.

I'm fairly certain Raiders' fans want Gradkowski to get some MVP voting love.

Daniel said...

I want to take a Moneysack Fantasy Football Poll. Let me give you guys the situation and then vote on what you think I should do in the situation. My DFL Playoff hopes were killed last night with a Percy Harvin Garbage TD. The owner of the team that knocked me out (we'll call him AK) assumed he punched his ticket to the playoffs. However, he was banking on me winning my game. I am currently down by 1 point in my game, with both Ray Rice and the Ravens D to play tonight. That's a pretty safe bet that I would get at least 1 point out of those two tonight. So what would you guys do? Be ethical and play to win even though its (personally) meaningless? Or screw over the guy that knocked me out of the playoffs? They're both currently on my bench and AK is out of the playoffs.

GMoney said...

Go for the win, pussy. Tanking should get you banned from fantasy football for life, Daniel Donaghy.

Daniel said...

I forgot to add that AK was talking some smack prior and during the Vikings game about how he was going to roll to the playoffs. Discuss.

Daniel said...

G$, you of all people I thought would understand the thrill and joy of totally screwing someone else over. I'm disappointed.

Daniel said...
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Anonymous said...

I am not going to lie, I think its kind of funny.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

if he was talking shit, i would fuck him over and bench them.

GMoney said...

AK is a homo so this could be taken as a hate crime. He's going to lose next week anyway.

If this was my league, I would consider kicking you out. Not to get all moral or anything, just what I would do.

Daniel said...

Your arguement is weak. Why would I care if I get kicked out after being eliminated from the playoffs? I thought the G$ crowd was a bigger group of a-holes. I'm ashamed of all of you.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.