Wednesday, December 02, 2009

THIS GUY Is A Perfect Fit

I think that enough time has passed and it is now officially time to put my two cents in on the Charlie Weis firing. Obviously, it was long overdue. Weis sucked. He was in over his head. He's clearly one of those assholes that is better in the booth calling plays than he is making team-based decisions. But I will say that he went out with class. Which he should have since he pretty much stole twenty million dollars from Jesus. But he's gone and I'm going to miss that tub of lard. At least he can go back to his career as an elementary school principal while wrestling as "The Revolting Blob" on weekends. If you think about it, Charlie was pretty much a terrorist because he unified America in one nation under hate.

I listened to the AD's press conference announcing the firing and that was a fucking joke. He said that he was proud of Chazz because he won a national athlete graduation!!! He was so proud of this, in fact, that he fired his ass! You can't have it both ways, AD who's name I won't even try to spell. Notre Dame is never going to win with a team that graduates everyone. That's just retarded. Either start letting in thugs and bangers or just give up and join the fucking Ivy League.

So now the big topic of conversation is who replaces this gellatinous mongoloid on the sidelines in South Bend. It's sad that this shitty program is detracting attention away from Bobby Bowden (an actual legend who has accomplished something in the past twenty years) stepping down from his program. But nevertheless, it is news. Irish fans are so dumb that they actually believe that Notre Dame is an elite program still. It is not. Everyone knows this but you people. Even Ohio State fans aren't this delusional. The rumored candidates to be fired three years from now when they can't win:

Bob Stoops - no fucking way
Urban Meyer - absolutely no fucking way
Kirk Ferentz - he looks like a devil worshipper so I doubt he's going to the holy land
Butch Davis - eh, maybe, but that isn't a sexy pick
Brian Kelly - seems to be a nice fit but fuck him
Romeo Crennel - just making sure you are still paying attention
Gary Patterson - good luck justifying this guy to your retard alums
Jesus - could conflict with that guy who watches all your games from the wall...Touchdown Something or other
Herm Edwards - holy shit, what a perfect fit this would be

My pick? Jon Gruden. But it has nothing to do with his coaching acumen or midwest roots.

All of you probably watched a good chunk of the MNF epic showdown on Monday, I'm sure. It was glorious. Who doesn't love watching Belichick and Brady have the smug wiped off their faces or knowing that all the faggots in Boston are crying? It's fantastic shit. But I'll tell you what...


I can't take it anymore. I've given them 11 weeks and they have not improved at all. I have yet to meet anyone who gives a shit about what Jaws sees when he breaks down the tape. I want to see people get tittied up by Adrian Peterson, I don't give two shits about how the safeties react in two deep coverage. And he doesn't get that. He keeps rambling on and on about shit that Joe Six-Pack immediately forgets because it is stupid. And is it possible for this fuckwipe to not say "National Football League" or the entire name of the team when referencing them. Oh, and Mr. Ace owns a Jaworski throwback jersey. Just when you think he couldn't be a bigger fag. Get fucked, Jaws.

But even Jaws doesn't bother me as much as Gruden. KSK had an awesome fileting of Gruden's announcing tendencies yesterday. THIS GUY sucks at commentating. He needs to go. Immediately. This is the same moron who said that Jake Delhomme leads the NFL in grit. THIS GUY does not make sense. Let me tell you, my poop leads the toilet in courage. And why does he feel that everything needs to be screamed into his mic? CALM THE FUCK DOWN, DICKFART. Jesus Christ, this announce team is terrible. Tirico is OK but I blame him for letting these assholes continue to be awful. Would it be so hard to move Ron Franklin and "Taste of the Town" Todd Blackledge from the Saturday night college game that no one watches over to Monday Nights???

Where was I? Oh, Gruden deserves Notre Dame because he sucks and Notre Dame deserves Gruden because they suck, too. It's a perfect fit. Notre Dame stays horrible and Gruden stops ruining my Mondays. Any of you fuckers got an amusing ND coaching candidate? You know where to put it. That's right, up your turd cutter.


Anonymous said...

Do you think Touchdown Jesus farts out a puff of smoke as a signal when ND signs a new coach?


GMoney said...

Nope, it was just Charlie Weis burping up Funjuns.

Mr. Ace said...

Is this MNF crew worse than last years with TK?

I really hope that somehow Ferentz can get that job. Iowa would go back in the dumps where they belong and Kelly would stay at Cincy to continue building his state of Ohioe juggernaut.

Dustin said...

I kind of like gruden on MNF.. Except when he screams WILDCAT 50 times every game.

Maybe I ignore his awful commentary because he will be coach of your 2010 Cleveland Browns?

Andrew said...

Rush Propst? He did resign at Hoover High you know...

GMoney said...

Rush Propst...EXCELLENT CALL!!!

Anonymous said...

I have heard rumors that Brian Billick was in the running for the ND job.

-Lil' Strut

Mr. Ace said...

About a month back I heard that Steve Sarkisian was a serious candidate for the ND job...but he went to BYU so I don't know how that would work.

GMoney said...

Huh? Sarkisian is still at Washington, right?

By the way, Ol' G$ will be rocking some floor seats at the Florida State/Fucko's game tonight. I'm pretty damn good at life. GO NOLES!!!

Mr. Ace said...

You should get in a staring contest with Titus...and trip Turner if you get a chance.