Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Movies Of The 2000's


A decade ends this week. Whatever. I'm having a hard time coming to grips that that Y2K scare is ten years old now. Where has the time gone? Anyway, this week, we are doing what every other blog is doing and comprising a list of bests and worsts of the past ten years. Obviously, this is going to be just my opinion and I am giving way more answers than you probably care about. But nevertheless, it's time to put a pretty bow on this past decade with my favorite parts of it. Today...My Most Loved and Hated Movies Of The 2000's!!!

LOVE!!!
10. Slumdog Millionaire - Don't let people tell you that it sucks because it is solid. Any movie with rape is OK by me.
9. Little Miss Sunshine - If you don't like this movie, you have no soul.
8. Mystic River - Sean Penn in his most badass form.
7. No Country For Old Men - Pretty much invented new ways to kill people.
6. The Patriot - I watch this movie, EVERY time it's on...probably because I like watching Heath Ledger die.
5. The Hangover - I want to believe that this movie will still be hilarious in 3-4 years.
4. The Departed
3. Gran Torino - Clint Eastwood was the fucking shit in this, zipperhead.
2. Cinderella Man - The Jim Braddock story is outstanding.
1. Tropic Thunder - I don't particularly care for anyone in this movie, but somehow this was my favorite flick of the past decade. Sgt. Lincoln Osiris and Les Grossman just kill me. I don't give a hobo's dickcheese if you disagree with this selection.

HATE!!!
10. Poseidon - Kurt Russell should stick to going to baseball games with Pat Sajak.
9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Possibly the dumbest fucking movie ever made...even worse than The Cable Guy.
8. Nacho Libre - This was the beginning of the end for Jack Black.
7. Public Enemies - Don't see this. Johnny Depp and Batman Bale were horrendous.
6. National Treasure - You could put any Nic Cage movie in this slot.
5. Pearl Harbor - Ben Affleck as a war hero? No thanks.
4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - I did not laugh once during this. Russell Brand is less funny than Jeff Dunham. Jason Segel's dick was a tad unnecessary.
3. Ocean's Twelve - They didn't even try on this one.
2. The DaVinci Code - The book was awful so I'm not sure why I expected the movie to good. I actually fell asleep in the theatre. Seriously.
1. Indiana Jones and the Alien Shittiness - This was the worst movie I have ever paid to see. I fucking hate you, George Lucas. Normally I would watch it again to make sure my first assessment was right, but I won't ever watch this turd again. Poor Dr. Jones.

The South Park episode where they showed George Lucas and Spielberg raping Indy was about as perfect as it gets. That movie was just awful. A part of me died that day. At least Lincoln Osiris still makes me laugh. He makes me feel like dangling my dice on Lance's forehead.

I'M A LEAD FARMER, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I see one movie a year...each installment of the Saw series (I enjoy the torture porn flicks)...but, occasionally I'll see a second movie. I did see "The Dark Knight" and I thought it was tremendous and better than "The Departed". I saw Slumdog for the first time a couple weeks ago...enjoyed it as well.

--Drew

GMoney said...

The Dark Knight was good, but I just can't get over Bale and Eckhart finding Maggie Gyllenhal attractive when she looks like Vinny Cerrato. Ruined the movie for me.

Mr. Ace said...

I have not seen half of those movies. The best movie this decade was Green Street Hooligans. Watch it. The other best movie of the decade was Crash! How the fuck is Crash not on your list?

I also enjoyed Thank You For Smoking. AND WHAT ABOUT BORAT!?

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you left Brokeback Mountain off the list.

-Derec Alexander

Anonymous said...

Ahh fuck...I've got to agree with Mr. Ace on something. I saw Green Street on DVD a couple years ago...it is indeed an awesome movie.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Never heard of GSH. Crash was OK, I guess.

Borat just missed the cut.

MUDawgfan said...

Honorable Mentions:

1. Miracle-I know nobody likes hockey, but this movie is great.
2. 2003 Miami Redhawks highlight DVD

Worst Movies:

1. Spiderman 3 - fucking terrible
2. There will be blood - BORING, shoot somebody for fucks sake
3. Passion of the Christ - any movie that pisses off the Jews is typically good. Except this one.

GMoney said...

I thought that There Will Be Blood was OK, Dawg. And yes, Miracle gave me chills.

Grumpy said...

Passion of the Christ pisses me off.

Tony B. said...

Wedding Crashers? Lord of the Rings? Planet of the Apes with Marky Mark? Scorpion King? It's up to you to figure out which movies go on which list.

Anonymous said...

I agreed with your top 10 other than Tropic Thunder (shouldn't even be on the list) and Dark Knight should be towards the top. Also, Taken deserves consideration.

-Lil' Strut

Tony B. said...

Great call on Taken Lil Strut. I just saw that the other week. Liam Neeson kicked ass and it involved sex slave trade. That's a dominant one-two punch.

GMoney said...

Taken was the last cut. I will not tolerate any besmirching of Tugg Speedman's acting.

Anonymous said...

I didn't see many of the movies listed, but I totally agree with Ocean's 12......no effort given what-so-ever...

Ocean's 11 and 13 are great though...

I do want to see GranTorino..I hear it is amazing.

--LWM

Mr. Ace said...

Taken fucking sucked. Dark Knight fucking sucked. If Ledger hadn't died nobody would give a shit about the movie.

Suck on my bust-a-nut bar, bitch.

Clarkster said...

how does gladiator not make the cut. are you not entertained! defiantly top five movie of the decade.

Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?


----------------
kelly divine