What does a vagina and Urban Meyer have in common? They both like cock inside them because they are fucking pussies. Step the fuck down or shut the fuck up. And if you do step down, feel free to come to Michigan when you return to coach...but be sure to pray about it and make your wife feel like she has some kind of say in what the fuck you do first.
We've got a big slate of games so let's get into it.
EAGLEBANK BOWL- UCLA vs TEMPLE- UCLA-4.5.
UCLA hasn't won a meaningful game since September 12th. Temple is in the MAC...I like the MAC. I was all set to take Temple until I saw OU get owned by a shitty Marshall team Saturday. The talent level in the MAC barely rivals the Special Olympics. UCLA has too much talent. UCLA-4.5.
CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL- MIAMI vs WISCONSIN- MIAMI-3.5.
Is Wisconsin in the Big Ten? Is the Big Ten terrible? Is Miami fucking sweet? In the words of the very wise Uncle Luke, "IT'S ALL ABOUT THE U! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE U!" Miami-3.5.
HUMANITARIAN BOWL- BGSU vs IDAHO- BG-1.5.
I haven't looked at anything about these two teams. I know Idaho was a covering machine early in the year but I'm not sure how the finished out. I will never, ever, bet on BG...unless it is a syphilis competition. Idaho+1.5.
HOLIDAY BOWL- ARIZONA vs NEBRASKA- PICK.
The Big 12 sucks. Suh is a fucking monster, but he is already counting his millions and couldn't give two shits about this game. Nebraska has zero offense. Arizona PICK.
ARMED FORCES BOWL- HOUSTON vs AIR FORCE- HOUSTON-4.5.
Houston has some real talent. They don't know the meaning of defense, but their offense is top notch. I see a shootout coming and Houston will be able to out last Air Force. The Air Force is for pussies, real men go to the Coast Guard. Houston-4.5.
SUN BOWL- OKLAHOMA vs STANFORD- OKLAHOMA -10.
This line came out at -7 and I was a little confused by it. Then the line jumps to -10 and I have no fucking clue what is going on. Here is what I know: Oklahoma's defense is great, Harbaugh doesn't really want to be in Stanford, and Oklahoma will not let Gerhart beat them. I rolling with the Sooners and giving a ridiculous amount of points. Harbaugh is a dick. Oklahoma-10.
TEXAS BOWL- NAVY vs MISSOURI- MIZZOU -6.5.
I can't bet against Navy in a big game, especially when I am getting 6.5. Missouri isn't good. They didn't beat an actual D-1 team all year. Navy comes to play every game, 6.5 is too much. Navy+6.5.
INSIGHT BOWL- MINNESOTA vs IOWA STATE- MINNY-2.5.
I previously said that Wyoming was the worst team to ever participate in a bowl game. I would like to strike that comment from the record. Iowa State is the worst team to ever participate in a bowl game. Minnesota will win this game by 14+. Minny-2.5.
CHICK-FIL-A BOWL- VIRGINIA TECH vs TENNESSEE- VT-5.5.
Lane Kiffin is a herpes wart on the taint of college football. I hate that faggot. I think it's hilarious that a school like Tennessee would actually hire him for absolutely no fucking reason. Va Tech is going to eviscerate them so bad that Seung-Hui Cho will blush in hell. VT-5.5.
I also promised you some standing, so here they are:
Don't ever believe anything G$ says about college football. And you sure as hell better not take any gambling advice from him. That is just embarrassing.