Friday, December 04, 2009

Great Scott!


Eh, the title (and picture) won't come into play until the end and I don't really have anything "full post" worthy today. Instead, we are going to stuff three topics into one mediocre blog post. What a winning combination. For the record, I apologize to Dut and the Saul boys for bailing on poker last night. As a married asshole, you've got to give me more than a few hours notice though. But in all honesty, I am freaking exhausted. Work has been awful this week since no one did any of my shit last week when I was on vacation and I've had to stuff two weeks of work into one. My co-workers are terrible people. I'm sure that you all feel bad for me. Onto the sub-topics please:

My take on Tiger
-I don't give a fuck. I really don't. Any time that TMZ gets involved in anything, I stop paying attention. Tony B laid his feelings out there at his place yesterday so I figured I might as well discuss it, too. Am I surprised? Fuck no. This is one of the most powerful men on the planet and he is on the road a lot. Call me cynical, but I assume that every celebrity/athlete has some sort of demon in their closet. For Tiger, it's brunette pussy. I am so sick and tired of people saying that he owes everyone an explanation. Do you know what he owes you? Fucking nothing because you have nothing to do with this, Rick fucking Reilly! What this boils down to is simple. The people making a big stink about this have never liked Tiger while the people who support him aren't going anywhere. This changes nothing on the course. Tiger is still a polarizing figure and the fact that he is more "human" now may even grow his fanbase. Hell, being a coozehound worked for John Daly. Now Tiger just needs to start putting down the Pall Malls and Hooters wings. I don't condone this behavior from Tiger, but I'm not going to stop liking him just because he likes to get fucked.

One of the undefeateds is going down
-It seems to be a trendy pick this week that my boys, the Titans, could end Indy's undefeated season. While I would not be surprised and am rooting for it to happen, I don't think it will. You see, when EVERYONE calls for a potential upset, it ain't going to happen. In fact, the better shot at a dream season being ruined might be in DC. Hear me out:
*Saints just had a massive emotional win
*short week
*road game
*temperature in the 40's; coldest they have played in since the 2007 NFC title game
*the Redskins are bad, but they have shown some fight recently
*Brees is 0-2 against Jason Campbell...read that again
*classic trap game before NO goes to Atlanta in week 14
*the Skins know what Gregg Williams defenses do
*Haynesworth is back
I'm not saying it's a sure thing, but I feel pretty confident that the Skins will stay within the 9.5 spread. You know what, fuck it. I'm calling my shot. THE REDSKINS WILL BEAT THE SAINTS ON SUNDAY. If they don't, who cares. But if they do, I am the smartest man alive.

This joke will send me to Hell a little faster
-So last Saturday, I get the hankering for some Back to the Future. I search the guide and no dice. With all the HBO channels that I pay for, they should have Biff Tannen on at all times. But I get to thinking...say that this movie was real. Doc Brown and Marty are DEALING PLUTONIUM WITH THE LIBYANS! The dynamic duo who produced a quality trilogy were actually terrorists. And couldn't they meet at a more discreet place than a well-lit mall parking lot? That makes no sense to me.

Now think to yourself, what if this scenario played out today? Doc Brown would be executed like the terrorist that he is. Einstein would be gassed because he was an accomplice. And poor, poor Marty. He would be stuck in some maximum-security federal prison on a life sentence. I bet he'd be popular with the fellow inmates though. You know, because current day Michael J. Fox would make one hell of a 160 pound human vibrator. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

Those damn Parkinson's people have been skating by for too long. It was about time that someone put them in their place. I am an awful person. Go Gators.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think Marty would have been in trouble with the authorities because he didn't know about how shady Doc was. He just showed up at the mall that night and Doc had plutonium.

The Saints will beat the Skins by 3 TD's, mark it down. I don't that Jason Campbell "owns" Drew Brees. The Saints are like a freight train right now.

Neither of the Saul brothers took part in cards last night, although there were some rousing games of SYN. Dut won the tourney if that's any indication of the quality of the card play that was taking place.

-Damman

Mr. Ace said...

First of all, I got robbed in that tourney because G Bok decided to call my pre flop raise with 4-6 suited. And then he missed on the flop, obviously, and tried to call all in like I'm some stiff and am going to fold to that pussy bluff. And then turn and river come his suit and he sucks out a flush on me. I would have owned that table.

I have never watched a Back to the Future movie in its entirety and I am proud of it.

I think the Skins game will stay close but in the end the Saints will cover.

I have always been a Tiger fan, but now I will root harder for his failure than anybody ever has. I must admit, I was surprised. More so by how many sluts and the quality of the sluts then the fact that he cheated. He had an affair with a cunt who was on a VH1 show!!! Not acceptable.

Dustin said...

Ace- you would have been defeated either way. I was by far the best poker player last night.

I am a bigger tiger woods fan now.

Damman- I sold your poker chips on craigslist.

G$- you're 0-2 since you called out the house on poker. And you had 10 hours notice.. That's much more than a few! You are a terrible person.

GMoney said...

Ugh, seeing who was at the table, I'm glad I stayed home.

How about that facemask catch by Braylon last night!!!

Jeff said...

Dut-you got lucky last night you weasel, but I guess that's poker. Atleast I'm happy we did 40-20 and not 50-10.

G$- have you seen the family guy when they made fun of MJ Fox, with a Zorro parody? Funny shit. You tube it if you haven't.

Mr. Ace said...

WHOOO! WORLD CUP DRAW!!! BRING ON THE BRITS!!!

Tony B. said...

Why do rich/famous people always cheat on their wives with uglier women (Hugh Grant, etc)? Someone please explain this to me. Is it because they can only donkey punch some ugly skank rather than the mother of their children?

GMoney said...

Ace, you are a fag.

Tony, it's not like these broads are Steve Phillips-esque. That U chick is smoking hot.

Mr. Ace said...

That Uchitel bitch is disgusting if that is who you are referring to. You might as well fuck a barbie, a barbie with turds for lips.

Mr. Ace said...

I king of want to read Donaghy's book...would you drop $25 for it?

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