Thursday, November 19, 2009

You'll Be Wishing For Prince In 20 Years

(Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one?)

Do you know how the NFL keeps bringing in old people to "rock" the Super Bowl halftime show? Sure you do. Thanks to Michael Jackson's black sister's nipple, we are forever doomed with pedestrian mini-concerts by people who like to eat dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon. We have had some decent halftime shows recently. Tom Petty was good and McCartney was solid...and that's about it.

U2 is the worst fucking band on the planet and it was offensive that these Irish pricks got to shit all over 9/11 with their shittiness. Prince eats ass but will at least make you pancakes. Springsteen fans are fucking morons who are convinced that he is the greatest. I hate the Stones. And that one year with Aerosmith, Timberlake, Nelly, and Britney...holy shit. They should have just played Danzig over the public address system. They should do that anyway though.

This year, we get The Who. And I could not be happier. The Who is bad-fucking-ass. Forget about all the intros to all of those horseshit CSI shows, this is finally a show that should kick ass. I guarantee that they close with "My Generation", by the way. Anyone want to bet me on that? But this awesomeness does not change the fact that the NFL is still going strong when it comes to bringing in a bunch of old dudes for their game of the year.

Think about this and try not to start 2029, when the Redskins are trying for an unprecedented 19th straight Super Bowl championship, who do you think Roger Goodell is going to bring in? The possibilities are terrifying.

Nickelback? Just fucking rotten
John Mayer? Horse's ass
Coldplay? Faggots
Jason Mraz? Prefers getting fucked by dudes over football
Toby Keith? No one important listens to country music
It's going to be Nickelback, God dammit.

This is going to happen. Those Canadian assholes are going to do a Super Bowl halftime show within the next two decades. Everything is in place for them. Lacks controversy. Generic lyrics. Awful lyrics. Sacks of shit. Pussies. They've got everything that the NFL could ever want.

I guess the only thing that makes me feel good is that, eventually, Pearl Jam and the Foo Fighters will get their shot on Super Sunday. Don't you think? But Jesus Christ, music today is terrible. No wonder Goodell keeps going with old people. My Generation really fucking sucks musically. See what I did there? I insulted modern music by using a title from a Who song. I'm so clever. Maybe I'll get a Super Bowl halftime show, too.


Anonymous said...

Kenny Chesney will be doing the Super Bowl within 3 years - count on it.

Anonymous said...

They need a rap half-time show, with the main performer being Jay-Z.


GMoney said...

Oh yeah, Chesney is a lock.

Jay-Z blows...they need the Big Tymerz!

Mr. Ace said...

I'm with Drew...Jigga What?

How about the Jackson 4...that would be creepy.

Grumpy said...

Blitzen Trapper. Bet you didn't think I was hip to them.

Mr. Ace said...

Enjoy jumping in your piss lake, fags!,203650
Who knew last nights south park would be so apt?

Dustin said...

I've jumped in the lake 3 times, and it was glorious. 2 of the 3 it was right around 30 degrees.

GMoney said...

Dut, you are fucking lame.

Tony B. said...

I wouldn't bet against "My Generation" as a closer, but I would definitely recommend "Baba O'Riley" just in case Pete Townshend is a regular reader of this blog (I mean, he does look a child porn, so...)

You know I love an awesome Nickelback hating post. They are the worst band in the history of multi-platinum selling artists. I think Canada sent them to America to dumb us down as phase I of their eventual take over.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but Nickelback's first album came out on 9/11/01. Coincidence? I think not.