Thursday, November 19, 2009

Josh Cribbs Is A Football Player


(I don't care what the situation is. A helmet without a facemask attached is ALWAYS hilarious.)

"I can't even put into words how upset I am at them for leaving him in like that," said agent J.R. Rickert in a text. "Fortunately, he's doing well."

I can't believe that I'm about to do this, but I'm going to defend the Browns here. For those of you who were intelligent enough to avoid this week's MNF atrocity and any lowlights about it, here is what went down. On the final play of the game, the Browns (who have scored 5 offensive touchdowns over the past FIFTEEN games) tried a hook and lateral (it's not "ladder", knobgoblin) with Josh Cribbs catching the ball and pitching it to Stonehands Robert Royal. Cribbs caught the ball, alright, and his reward was to be DEMOLISHED by some Raven that I've never heard of. He had to be stretchered and has a concussion or something.

His agent was pissed that he was in the game at all with a meager 3 seconds left and that the Browns were using him to run a pointless trick play. Well guess what, faggot? Your client PLAYS GODDAMN FOOTBALL!!! If you want him to be on the field more and to get another big contract, he's going to have to take reps at WR. It isn't fucking rocket science.

Wait a minute, all of a sudden this special teamer is apparently too good to be playing garbage time minutes on offense? How about working at your craft a bit? If you want to bitch about your contract, how about proving your worth in more than one facet? Not one fucking player in the NFL is JUST a kick returner. Sure, Cribbs may be one of, if not the, best returners in the game...but special fucking teamers don't get paid. Every down players do. And I don't see millions of dollars coming the way to a guy with 12 catches for 71 yards and 0 touchdowns this season. Not even the Browns are that stupid.

Quit being a fucking pussy, J.R. Rickert, and realize that with or without your client, the Lions are still going to roll up on the Browns by 20 points this Sunday. And do you know what is mindfuckingly retarded? When the media reports about LeBron wanting to play for the Browns.

2 comments:

Dustin said...

I believe rickert also signed the 7 year deal that doesn't have guaranteed money!

Tony B. said...

The picture reminds me of Kevin Butler (or at least an old school kicker with the single bar face-mask.)