Friday, November 06, 2009

Bi-Weekly Means Annual Now

(That bulldog is cheating!!!)

I'm tired. The baseball playoffs have crushed me. Don't get me wrong, I am still ecstatic how things played out, but I'm one of those assholes that needs three hours to calm down after games end. It sucks. I wanted to take today off so I called Mr. Ace last night to see if he could put together a gambling post or something. He was too busy putting together Ikea furniture and being unemployed, I guess. What a tough life. Asshole. So here I am...with nothing. I figure, what the hell, I may as well attack a few commenters for being shitheads.

At the end of August, rumors were swirling throughout the westside of Columbus that a poker game was in the works. So I get emails from GSaul and Dut as an invitation to participate. This was never in doubt though as I, obviously, am a God among men. It is decided that our first go-round of poker would be on the first Thursday of college football (9/3).

It was at this time that it was decided that this game would turn into a bi-weekly event. Every other Thursday we would get together and toss some cards for a few hours. I was ecstatic. I am enjoying married life and all, but an excuse to get out of the house, have a few beers, and tell a few dick jokes is extremely nice to have.

So what is the issue? We have not played since that first night. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!! This was supposed to happen every two weeks, fucksticks. We are beyond TWO GODDAMN MONTHS. I need this. You fucks are letting me down. I would love to hear some of the excuses. I'm sure that there are some real doozies. I know one week was cancelled because Grant was out of town. Oh, God forbid, no one has ever played poker without Grant in attendance.

Now I know what you're thinking: "if you call these assbiscuits out, maybe you won't be invited?" Impossible. Have you met me? I'm fucking amazing. Ten times better in person than I am online. And I won the first (and only) tournament...that means I'm exempt for the next 5 years. It's like winning a golf major or some shit.

The point of this, you ask? Not really anything. I told you at the start that I didn't want to post anything today. I guess I just wanted to remind everyone that Dut and GSaul (and Jon Saul) are awful people and liars. There needs to be some accountability out of Sussex! Like I said, I need this. My wife doesn't like it when I call her a fag or comment on the perkiness of Erin Andrews' tits. GET THE GAME BACK ON, HOMOS.

I need some fucking sleep.


J Beanie said...

Glad this was the post I read when I finally got to read your site this week. Thanks.

Since it sucked, how about you help me make up my mind on a fantasy trade. Should I trade Fitz and Slaton (and Sproles) for Welker, Grant and Sims-walker?

Mr. Ace said...

J Beanie, don't be a moron, you can't make that trade.

G$, my IKEA furniture looks wonderful. What the hell are you so exhausted from? Watching porn at work?

I remember a few years ago we tried to get a lil game goin in bg/Toledo and it never really happened unless everybody was willing to go to Dut's place. You see the common ingredient? Dut!!! You can't possibly expect that ass hole to do what he says. He's the weasel for a reason.

PS If that game ever gets going again I am in.

GMoney said...

I don't understand people's infatuation with Ryan Grant. He isn't a top 20 RB. He sucks.

Beanie, thanks a lot for stopping by once this week. Your life as a grad student must be sooooo taxing. Eat shit.

Dustin said...

We were discussing this last night. You probably don't believe a word I'm writing, but were going to get it going again.

Dustin said...

PS I believe you should have been the first or 2nd knocked out of that tournament only to get a miracle draw. Eat a dick!

GMoney said...

I don't believe you. Miracle draw? I'm the best player ever. Every move I make is cool and calculated.

Anonymous said...


Don't forget we have that TSP Poker Night, if you return to the Nap-Town region over Thanksgiving Weekend......I am still thinking Saturday.....


GMoney said...

A big "maybe" on that, LWM. Might be heading back to Columbus on Saturday.

I'll take this time to invite all of you to the annual Naptown Wolverine Thanksgiving Classic. Thanksgiving night...his house...come give me your money. Shit, it might be the ten year anniversary this year.

Anonymous said...

Ever heard of a home WILDCAT play-off game?!?!

Can't focus on cards when there is JJhuddle snoad bashing and Waldcat post to read!!!

- Jon Saul

J Beanie said...

I'm glad you guys are saying don't make the trade. Makes me feel better about making it. Thanks suckers.

I'm 7-1 in the league so I don' know why I even asked you in the first place.