Tuesday, December 01, 2009

BC-ACE Week 7: The Week We Have Known Was Coming For The Last 5 Weeks

It is here. The only game that actually matters in over three months of college football. The game that we all knew was coming but still tried to pretend that somehow the Fuckeyes getting embarrassed at Purdue mattered. Make no mistake about it folks, this is The National Championship game. Florida and Alabama meeting at the Georgia Dome to determine a champion...nothing like having the college football season over on December 5th. The BCS is simply the perfect system--FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Seriously, what kind of bullshit is this? We are going to have three undefeated teams when the season ends. Whoever wins the SEC championship(Alabama), TCU, and Boise are all finishing the season with a goose egg in the loss column and we as college football fans are supposed to be content...fuck that. Where the fuck are you Obama? The only reason I voted for your Mulatto ass is because you wanted a playoff. Where the fuck is my playoff? I don't care if you want to send 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. I don't care about what you plan to do with the health care system. I care about what the fuck you are going to do to make sure that TCU gets their fucking shot at the "Paper Champ"...and I've got a truckload of ghosts and lower case "t's" coming your way if I don't get my answer, Richer.

ACE'S BOTTOM BITCH: Alabama. They struggled with Auburn and I wasn't surprised. That's what happens when your Heisman candidate has 16 carries for 30 yards and goes out with a hip injury. Call me crazy, but I am actually more impressed with this team now that I have seen McElroy take the team on his back and come through in the clutch. Auburn made McElroy win the game and that is exactly what he did...but I don't know if he can do that against Florida.

2. Florida. With Tim Tebow's collegiate career coming to an end, I have begun to reflect favorably on his time at Florida. Don't get me wrong, the thing I hate most in life is some bible thumping doucher telling me how I should lead my life, but given his position, I've got nothing but respect for that kid. He is the real deal. College football, and college sports in general, could use more student-athletes like him. But they are still going to lose to Alabama.

3. TCU. I don't know if this is the best team in the nation, but I know they deserve a chance to prove it. It has been over seven weeks since a team was able to come within 26 points of TCU...this team is legit.

4. Texas. Quite possibly my least favorite team in all of football. Let's just hope Ndamukong Suh can fulfill all our dreams and end Colt McCoy's career.

5. Cincinnati. Can Brian Kelly hold it together for another week with the Notre Dame job waiting for him? I think so...I hope so. Then maybe ND won't be able to wait for Cincy to play in their BCS game and they get some fucking stiff like Tony Dungy...and then He and the mighty Notre Dame can burn fags at the stake in the name of Catholicism together. But yeah, Cincy has the Big East wrapped up.

6. Boise St. I'm not thrilled about having to move them up to this spot, but I really have no choice. Damman cursed my fucking Georgia Tech team and now I am stuck with Boise at the 6 spot.

7. Oregon. The Ducks are no joke. Being able to run through the PAC-10 the way they have is very impressive. I hate to sound like Kirk Herbstreit, but how the fuck is Masoli not getting any Heisman love at all? I cannot wait to see them stomp out the Fuckeyes in Pasadena.

8. Georgia Tech. I still like GT. I don't know how they lost to Georgia. Nesbitt did get knocked out of the game for a little while, but that is still no excuse to lose to Georgia. Nonetheless, this team is still the second best two loss team in the nation.

9. Fuckeyes. This really pains me. I almost put Virginia Tech here because they are a better team than the Fuckeyes, but after a couple SEC midlings wiped the floor with the two teams playing in the ACC Championship game I can't put in another ACC team. The Fuckeyes are here, and they're queer.

10. Cleveland Browns. Who am I kidding? They couldn't finish in the top 10 of the Big Ten.

There you have it. I was going to stop after number three, but I love you guys too much. You're welcome. Leave your unintelligent thoughts in the comments. And so help me Tebow, if one of you queers tries to talk football strategy and not even know what a fucking Zone Read is I will hunt you down and cram Tiger Woods' wife's 7 Iron up your ass.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am thankful that the media love fest with Tebow is only a month or so away from being over. Every time his face is on TV, I can't turn the channel fast enough. He is my least favorite player in college football of all time, hands down.

You keep carrying the flag for G. Tech. Did you actually move them up from last week's rankings after losing at home to a mediocre team? I am too lazy to look, but that wouldn't surprise me.

Va Tech is a joke. Their offense wouldn't cross midfield against the Buckeyes.

-Damman

GMoney said...

You forgot to mention UC going undefeated as Pitt will not challenge them.

College football needs less Tebow's and more Clarett's in some people's minds. He will destroy Bama this weekend.

Nate B. said...

The team with the better defense wins this weekend (Florida).

If Ingram couldn't get it going against Auburn, what makes you think he can do anything against the Gators?

Mr. Ace said...

I said UC had the Big East wrapped up...they could possibly win their bowl game, depends on Kelly's status.

Damman, I dropped GT two spots. Their resume is still better than any other team with two or more losses.

Ingram got injured, I'm assuming he will be healthy enough to play the entire game against Florida. I'm not betting against Saban. Bama did just enough to get passed Auburn, not showing much to Florida. I'm taking Bama.

Nate B. said...

What gives GT a better resume than OSU?

Mr. Ace said...

I said so.

Nate B. said...

Ah, I see.

GMoney said...

UC does not have the BE wrapped up as if Pitt wins this week, the Stache wins the conference. So if UC does indeed have it wrapped up, they will need to be included in your unbeatens list.

I DEMAND PERFECTION!

Mr. Ace said...

I said UC has the Big East wrapped up because Pitt doesn't stand a chance you ass hole!

I don't think UC has as good of a chance at winning their bowl game as the other undefeated's I mentioned. I was saying after all the bowl games are played, those three teams mentioned, SEC Champ, TCU, Boise, would still be undefeated!!!

MUDawgfan said...

[i]I don't know how they lost to Georgia. Nesbitt did get knocked out of the game for a little while, but that is still no excuse to lose to Georgia[/i]

I'm confused? Was Nesbit going to line up at Middle Linebacker? Would he have prevented UGA from taking two first year starters and rushing for 350+ yards?

Tech is tissue paper soft. They play defense like they're trying to not hurt their opponents feelings. And it isn't their fault - the ACC is just total shit and they really haven't been tested.

Anonymous said...

MudDawg might be the smartest man to ever come to this site. Well said, sir.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Don't worry MUDawg....facts always hurt Mr. Ace's off-base arguments.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Mudawgfan, those are some great points. Maybe I am a year early on thinking the ACC is good...but I still like GT more than any other team with two losses, sorry.

Drew, I'm glad you have cut down your comments to only one sentence. That's a great improvement to this site.

Anonymous said...

Great South Park episode you referenced.

Bama showed their weakness last weekend, but Florida could have an issue since their All American DE was passed out at a green light.

I agree with you: UC will struggle against any top 10 team in a bowl game. Yeah, they haven't lost, but it is the BE.

-Burgei