Tuesday, November 24, 2009

BC-ACE Week 6: Tressel The Merciful

Alright, let's get this shit over with. I'm not going to sit here and tell you guys that Michigan played a good game. I'm not going to tell you that Michigan was in it until the very end. I'm not going to tell you that Pryor sucks at passing and should be moved to WR...even though it is true if Tressel doesn't use him properly. I'm not going to tell you that Michigan's defense played great by only giving up 318 yards. What I am going to tell you is that Michigan sucks...and that Stefanie Spielman's corpse could have quarterbacked the Fuckeyes to a win Saturday. What I am also going to tell you is that those uniforms were fucking hideous. I don't care what kind of check Nike wrote, you don't wear that shit for THEE FUCKING GAME!

Either Tressel is just a kind soul who didn't want to curb stomp his hated rival on the national stage, or he is a fucking moron, and I'm not quite sure which. The only reason Michigan didn't get blown out by four TD's is because Tressel knew he didn't need it to beat Michigan. He knew his defense could force turnovers. He knew his offense could score whenever he wanted. Thankfully, he lined up in the I-form most of the game and grinded it out. If the Fuckeyes take all of their snaps out of the shot gun, like they should, and let Pryor run a Read Option, like they should, then the Fuckeyes may not have punted the ball the entire game. It's crazy to see how athletic Pryor is in person. How you cannot tailor your offense towards a player like that is beyond me. Again, I don't know if it is because Tressel is slightly retarded or because he felt sorry for us, but either way I am thankful.

The only bright spot of Saturday was listening to drunken commenter Dustin and drunken commenter Jeff sing Boyz II Men at the tail-end of their 14 hour binge drinking session on the drive back down to Columbus. Simply breathtaking.

I'm glad DickRod is back and I hope to Krishna that we figure some shit out on defense. Now who is ready for some Big Ten basketball? Whoooo!

ACE'S BOTTOM BITCH: Alabama. I don't really have to explain myself at this point.

2. Florida. They let FIU score. If they would have shut them out I would have moved them up. Go 'Noles!

3. TCU. You know how I feel about TCU, I fucking love them. I could go on and on, but somebody already did that for me.

4. Texas. Can you believe that fucking pussy Colt McCoy has won more games than any other college QB? As a college football fan, that is embarrassing.

5. Cincinnati. Cincy had a week off and gets two full weeks to prepare for an awful Illini squad...I don't really care and you probably don't either.

6. Georgia Tech. Same old story for Georgia Tech. I love this team. Only Georgia left on the regular season schedule for them. If they beat Georgia by more than 24 I might move them in front of Florida.

7. Boise St. Boise, you are officially on upset alert. You heard it here first, Nevada is going to take down the mighty Broncos Saturday night.

8. Oregon. Arizona is a tough team when playing at home. Oregon went in there and took Arizona's best shot and still walked out with a victory. Now they just have to pound some Beaver to get to the Rose Bowl.

Last but not least...This really pains me, but I've got to give credit where credit is due. As much as I have tried to deny this team its rightful place in the BC-ACE, I can't do it anymore.
9. Pittsburgh!!!

Sorry Fuckeyes, but you just don't belong here. No team from the Big Ten this year is one of the best 10 teams in the country. I just pray that none of the other Big Ten teams get an at-large bid to a BCS dance because that will make our bad conference look even worse.

Also, I called Cal over Stanford so I don't want to hear any of your shit about Stanford in the comments. They would still own the Fuckeyes.

So bring the hate, I'm ready pussies.

23 comments:

Nate B. said...

Stanford - priceless. Lesson learned - don't put a 3 loss team in your top ten.

And yes - OSU did run the zone read throughout the day - Saine's TD at the end of the second half was out of the ZR.

Up until your top 10, I'd say this is the first time I've seen you be objective - good synopsis of the game. How long will the new AD really give RR to turn this clusterfuck around?

Mr. Ace said...

I know the Fuckeyes ran the zone read throughout the game, particularly on the drive after Michigan cut the lead to four, but they should run it damn near every play if they are going to run the ball.

Wasn't Saine's TD off of a busted play where half the team was running the bubble screen?

RichRod has one year guaranteed. If he gets to 7-8 wins then he stays the next year and thereafter.

Anonymous said...

You know the rivalry is lopsided when the only straw your rival is holding onto, is that they didnt' get beat as badly as they should have.

They have finally began letting TP make his own decisions on the zone read...something that will be improved on greatly during bowl practices (something RR doesn't know about at Michigan).

Buckeyes return 18 of 22 starters next year and have PSU and Miami in Columbus...will be a fun year.

When will Michigan finally end the losing streak against OSU? Not next year in Columbus...not when TP is a Senior....who knows.

--Drew

Nate B. said...

No, are you thinking about Michigan's all out blitz on the halfback screen? That went to Herron.

On Saine's run it was on the UM 30 with Saine lined up as the ace to the right of Pryor. Saine took the read left with Steve Brown getting kicked out to the sideline.

Tressel likes the I-formation because it allows Pryor to run better play action out of it with the tight ends dragging across the middle or into the flats. Plus, TP's terrible at making passing reads out of 4 and 5 receiver sets, so any time you see them in the spread, it's almost for sure a run at this point. The I-form at least give us some semblance of a 2D offense.

As Drew said, TP's getting better at making reads out of the ZR, the only issue I have with this is it's not really what we promised Pryor when we recruited him. The only reason TP came to OSU over UM or Oregon was because we promised to not make him a system QB. Unfortunately, he's too stupid to be anything else.

GMoney said...

Tell me more about this Boyz II Men singalong...I wish that your ride would have found the end of the road and driven off a cliff.

Mr. Ace said...

Nate, Saine's TD came on a busted play... http://www.sbnation.com/2009/11/23/1169776/the-alphabetical-week-12 --Go down to "G" and it will say how it happened. That wasn't a read.

Drew, you are the definition of a FUCKeye.

Whether Pryor is running or passing, he should be outside the pocket. Give him two options on a pass, if it isn't there then run. Maybe another off season will show improvement...I doubt it, the biggest jump should be from Frosh to Soph... but Tressel would be a fool not to take some pages out of Michigan or Oregon's book. Pryor isn't transferring, run the offense that he is meant to run.

Mr. Ace said...

G$, it was "I'll Make Love to You"...Uncle Tim would be proud.

Mr. Ace said...

Greatest .gif ever?

Nate B. said...

Yeah - it says the wrong play was run in, not that it was a busted play. The play that was run with Saine was ran and executed perfectly, it just wasn't the play Tressel called for.

Nate B. said...

Wow - I just reread what I typed and didn't understand that.

The play that was signaled in was ran and executed as a zone-read with Brandon Saine.

It just wasn't the play that JT called for.

The Boom Herron TD was a busted up screen play against a heavy UM blitz.

Anonymous said...

Nate is right...Ace is wrong...surprise, surprise. Saine's TD was a zone read.

Robinson's call for the heavy blitz on the Boom TD was hilarious on so many levels.

Tressel has won more big ten games in Michigan Stadium than RR has.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Holy shit, are we seriously arguing about fucking zone reads? Please die...please die soon.

Mr. Ace said...

This is hilarious. Either you guys don't know what a zone read is or...well, you're idiots.

Actually watch the replay of that play and you can see that was a misdirection, there was no read involved, and half the players are blocking for the screen.

I'm done talking about that play now.

Nate B. said...

Just watched the play - you're right - misdirection.

Doesn't change the fact your defense is/was terrible.

Jeff said...

Flexin the golden pipes was great, not to mention that Dut has to hear 75% of a song before he can figure out what it is.

Anonymous said...

I cant believe that I am even weighing in on this conversation.

Ohio State ran the zone read the last three weeks when they had to. Against two worthy opponents (Penn State and Iowa) and when the Michigan game got down to one score.

Why run it all the time and get your quarterback beat up. Ohio State obviously does not have confidence in their back up (would have played against Purdue). So score enough to win and do not put your defense in bad situations.

Maybe if RR would take some of this advice Forcier would not have been so banged up and maybe he does not turn the ball over 5 times.

Hoffman

Mr. Ace said...

Hoffman, I can't believe you weighed in on this conversation either. Next time don't waste our time.

Anonymous said...

The OSU/Michigan game drew the highest rating of any college football game on Saturday...even higher than the primetime Oregon/Arizona game. Almost two times higher than any SEC game on Saturday. Where are the morons that kept saying it's not a national rivalry last week?

--Drew

GMoney said...

Keep in mind, dipshit, that half of the country got Kansas/Texas in that primetime slot. And Oregon/Zona has never had any relevance other than this year. Do you even think before you comment here?

Anonymous said...

Who fucking cares dip shit? I guess just everyone in Ohio and Michigan watched and that combined to get it the highest rated game. Stupid.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Drew, give up. He will never admit when he is wrong.

-Damman

Mr. Ace said...

Let's wait and see what the ratings are for Alabama-Auburn, second biggest rivalry in college football, and then you can talk shit...THE GAME didn't exactly have much stiff competition Saturday.

Dipshits.

GMoney said...

Ohio State fans are never right.